We know that women always think they can stay close to men by talking to them with great enthusiasm, not knowing that a woman who chatters incessantly not only makes it difficult for men to talk, but also makes it easy for them to keep their mouths shut and lose interest. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
But don’t give up on the pursuit of harmonious communication. Understanding his conversational mindset and grasping his conversation skills and style will make your conversation smooth and natural. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
One: You’re still asking him about work after work
You’re having a nice conversation with your man when you pop up and say, “How was work today?” He just grunts, “I’m doing okay,” and stares at the sports show, ignoring you. The fact that he is not willing to talk to you is temporary and justifiable before you find out why you are being left out.
Because just after work is not a good time to talk to a man about business. Women think talking after work is a good way to bond with a man, but men would rather just be with you and enjoy the peace and warmth without words. This silent behavior also has his physiological reasons: a man’s brain is relatively focused when dealing with something. When a man is deep in thought about work or focused on a ball game, his brain is busy thinking logically when his verbal function is dormant.
Giving him time to calm down can bring him back to a conversational state. 28-year-old Hong Ying found, “My boyfriend comes home, turns on the TV, and is in a semi-dormant state. I remember the first time we lived together, I was simply stunned when I tried so hard to talk to him and he didn’t seem to recognize me. But then I realized that if I let him be quiet for an hour or so, he would take it upon himself to tell me about what was happening at his work so we would have something to talk about.
2: Stare him dead in the eye when you talk
I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed the phenomenon that if you stare a dog straight in the eye, he may think you’re hostile and avoid you, or even lunge and bite you. The reaction of men is also roughly the same. Men and women sit differently and make eye contact when talking to the same sex.
Women sit face-to-face, leaning on the couch, with their eyes looking directly at each other; men sit shoulder-to-shoulder or diagonally, with their eyes looking around. For a woman, it’s hard to open up to a man who’s always staring at peeling paint on the ceiling; for a man, having someone staring at him during a conversation can make them restless and difficult to relax.
To avoid this particular male habit, you can use opportunities to talk to him when you’re beside him – in the car, at the movies, etc. – and he’ll be comfortable and relaxed enough to talk to you as long as you’re not staring him dead in the eye. 26-year-old Ye Xiao said, “The most enjoyable conversation my boyfriend and I had was on one of our trips, when he talked about his childhood antics and our bright future, which is something he It’s a topic he doesn’t talk about often. We had a great conversation and didn’t want to stop until we got to our destination.”
Three: You expect to have a long conversation
A man’s conversation is both practical and purposeful, so when you get into small talk, he does his best to find excuses to stop your conversation. Men think and talk in terms of syllables. This is one of the basic differences between the sexes. Women use conversation as a softening agent for their relationship, they talk to men about everything in order to close the relationship. Men, on the other hand, like to talk with a set purpose. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are talking about.
When you and your lover are doing things together, it’s a good time for you to talk, and men are usually more talkative and open when they’re not stressed and motivated. 29-year-old Anri always uses this opportunity to make her conversations with her lover both warm and harmonious. She says, “My boyfriend and I always exchange ideas and discuss our weekend plans while making dinner together. Because we are used to being in this small space, talking and working at the same time, when we are both in a comfortable mood, the conversation is natural and harmonious.”
Another little “trick” for getting men to talk is to not cram every silent moment. Talking for too long can bore men. Women feel uneasy in silence, men do not. So if you want to break the silence, don’t keep chattering away, as this will cause men to intentionally avoid your silence, which is counterproductive.
4: You try to keep the heat on your relationship by constantly mentioning it
All the women in the world ask their boyfriends, on different occasions, “Are we good? Do you love me?” But constantly asking your boyfriend similar questions can drive him away from you. A woman always feels that her relationship with her boyfriend is normal and harmonious when she constantly mentions it, while a man, on the contrary, will not mention it if he thinks it is normal.
Men know you’re looking for a verbal commitment, but using the indirect approach of asking questions can lead to problems. As Wu Hui, 29, put it, “My relationship with my girlfriend started going well, and then she started asking me constantly, ‘Are you happy?’ In fact, I used to be happy all the time, and the fact that she kept asking me the same question over and over again instead made me bored and stopped feeling happy.”
5: You’re too honest
You unexpectedly receive an E-mail from your ex-boyfriend expressing regret for losing you and wanting to reconcile, and by the time you’ve slightly flirted but firmly rebuffed his request, on second thought, you still think it’s your responsibility as an honest partner to tell this to your current boyfriend. If you do, you’re very wrong.
While honesty and trust are the foundation of a relationship, sometimes it’s better to let go of the notion that “not telling will hurt him.” It’s easy for women to think that if they don’t tell each other, it will more or less destroy their relationship,” but men will only tell you the truth if there is a definite and necessary reason to do so. So you mention your ex, and he may presume that your relationship is still extraordinary. While you are sure that your relationship was just an email, your boyfriend may be wondering if there is something else going on between them?
Another reason to promote self-criticism rather than telling each other everything is that being honest and telling the whole story is much more damaging to your boyfriend than keeping a little harmless secret. That’s why it’s said, “Absolute honesty can also be cruel.” Xiao Jing, 31, feels deeply about this. I met my current boyfriend when I was still dating my ex, and he had heard how soulful I was with my ex,” she says.