Women are hard to guess, so marriage experts are always teaching men what to say to women and what not to say. In fact, sometimes men’s minds are just as sensitive, and what women don’t mean to say may seem extraordinarily hurtful to them.
One, persuade your husband to fight for a promotion, raise your salary or jump ship
“Xiaozhou’s husband has had his salary raised twice, you need to learn to take the initiative to mention it to your boss”, “This position should be yours, go to your leader and say “
“Although it is reasonable to say that ‘the husband is proud of his wife’, but every day you talk about your husband’s position and salary, it only shows that the wife is too demanding. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The president of the Shanghai Psychological Counseling Industry Association, Wang Yuru, said that now is the era of gender equality, but many women’s inherent beliefs still believe that men should be the breadwinners of the family, which can put a lot of pressure on their husbands. “I have come across very smart wives, when their husbands are facing key promotions, instead of putting pressure on him, they say, it’s not easy for you to get to where you are today, I’m content. This maintains the couple’s relationship and gives the husband the confidence to fight for the family.”
Two, count your husband’s mother or keep comparing yourself to her
“Why is your mother like this?”, “How old you are and your mother still cares for you?” “
Don’t criticize his mother to her face. Many men don’t say it, but in fact they take their “mother” very seriously. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. Women should not always compare themselves with their mothers-in-law, after all, the status of “mother” is irreplaceable. Try to let your husband see that you are trying to create a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that he will be grateful to you no matter what the outcome.
Three, we need to talk
“You never listen to me”, “Can’t you just hear me out”, “We need to sit down and talk about the kids. We need to sit down and talk about it.”
One study showed that men say an average of 2,000 words a day, while women say 7,000. After men finish their 2,000 words at work, they often go home and don’t want to say more, while women have an extra 5,000 words that “haven’t landed”. Wang Yuru said, women put up a “need to talk” stance, in fact, not to “equal talk”, but to “educate” men. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a doctor of philosophy, points out that when you need to talk, you may want to say to your husband, “This is really important to me, and I hope you understand,” in order to create a relationship of equal conversation.
Four, mocking your husband’s tastes, food preferences or habits
“Why are you going out dressed like that?”, “Stop eating XX, how dirty it is”, and “
While many men are not as careful as women when it comes to eating and dressing, they can still be turned off if their wives are constantly judgmental. The most important thing is not to make his eating habits or bad habits a topic of public discussion. The man’s wife should not mention his “secrets” in front of his friends, especially his bad habits.
Five, often praise other men in front of their husbands
“People are younger than you, and now they are at the division level”, “Look at the husband of Xiao Wang, and buy him a new car”. “Look how well XX (ex-boyfriend) is doing now”
Don’t compliment another man by comparing his shortcomings; he will feel looked down upon and taunted. Men are often insecure about the same sex, and if you compare another man’s strengths to his, it may make him apprehensive. Therefore, try not to compare your husband to other men. But if you can find something good about him, you may want to compliment him with comparisons from time to time.
Six, strictly supervise your husband’s phone calls and text messages
“Why does XX always call you”, “She can’t call anyone else but you”, “Who just sent that text message? “Who just sent that text message”
Many women check their husbands’ phones, usually because they see a hint, but excessive squeezing and monitoring is instead pushing him outward. If the suspicion is unwarranted, it can even have a serious impact on the couple’s relationship. “Don’t hang on to your suspicions all the time, just have them in your own mind.”