This question reminds me of one of my girlfriends.
Six months ago, she fell in love with a guy who was two years younger than her. The two people usually seem to be particularly high-strung, but I didn’t expect to fall in love, but they are childish like children.
The two of them are always looking for opportunities to tease the girl and like to see her embarrassed and angry, and the girl always sticks to the boy and wants to be around him 24/7.
At first, I didn’t understand her very well, until I also met a guy I liked, and I realized that in love, we are all “childish”.
Medically speaking, the central thalamus of the human brain stores a variety of neurotransmitters, including the familiar dopamine and adrenaline. When we fall in love with someone, neurotransmitters like dopamine are secreted in a constant stream, which makes us feel happy and blissful, and can also cause us to become addicted to the feeling and then lose our minds and become less calm than usual.
So we start to become dependent on each other and at the same time have excessive expectations of each other. We want to see each other every moment, and every move of the other person touches our nerves at all times. Because we like each other and trust each other fully, we take off our defenses and are willing to show our real side in front of each other without any pretense.
The child at the bottom of our hearts who has always grown up jumped out and replaced the pretend mature us, and our joy and sadness when we get along is more obviously written on our faces.
We not only want each other to understand the difficulties in our lives, but we also want each other to take care of the childish self inside of us and keep it safe from the outside world’s storms.
No one would act recklessly in front of another person if they didn’t have enough security. Love makes us take off the masks we’ve long been used to and makes us crave each other’s attention even more. We are afraid of being ignored and left out, and like children, we keep asking each other for the little bit of sweetness that we can smear on our hearts, and also pass on the warmth we can offer to each other without reservation.
As far as I know, many guys have deliberately picked on girls at one time or another when they were in the early stages of their love affairs in order to get their attention. They would tug on the girl they liked’s long braids when she wasn’t looking; they would pretend to accidentally drop the ballpoint pen on her desk when they passed by her desk after class.
This shows that most people’s first love begins with some childish behavior, and such beginnings shape our perception of love to some extent. We have to admit that many people spend their whole lives looking for the shadow of their first love over and over again, and the “shadow” here is not just the external image of the first love, but also the way two people are used to getting along during their first love.
Of course, there are some people who are childish in their relationships because they are overly concerned about each other and are in danger of losing their minds. For example, some guys will privately delete the contact information of all their male friends from their girlfriend’s phone, and some girls will call their boyfriends anytime and anywhere to check up on them. They need to repeatedly determine their place in each other’s hearts by interfering with each other’s freedom. Such childishness, ultimately, stems from a deep-seated lack of confidence and does not make each other feel cute, but rather tends to cause resentment.
But then again, if a person shows his childish side frequently in front of you, it actually means that he has accepted you deep inside in a way, and you should know how to cherish this childishness. If one day he suddenly becomes mature, no longer endlessly pampering you, no longer clinging to you day and night, it’s not because he has grown up all of a sudden, it’s just because your hearts are far apart and a wall has been erected between him and you.
The right kind of childishness will make a relationship sweeter, and excessive childishness will make each other more and more conflicted. The first thing we need to do is try to control the level of childishness and not let it become a problem for each other.
The life of a person seems long, but in fact every year flies by. The most important thing is to have a childish relationship in your best years, which is not a romantic thing.
As Haizi wrote in his poem “The Summer Sun”-
“You come to earth for a trip, you want to see the sun, and walk down the street with your beloved, together.”
Some day in the future, our hair will be gray. The first time I saw the film, I thought it was a good idea to see it. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you’re doing.