When it comes to confusion, I’ve been living with it for seven years.
I don’t know what you think of confusion as, but my own sense of it is:
Does what I’m doing really make sense?
What am I really studying hard for?
What exactly should I do in the future?
What kind of person do I want to be?
Is this good for me right now?
Yu are in a sudden moment in a moment into a state of “not wanting to do anything and not knowing where to go in the future” a state of. strong>. It often comes at a time when you have a big choice to make, or when you suddenly start to question where you are in your life.
For example, many people’s confusion starts when they are in their junior or senior year when they should choose whether to go to graduate school or find a job, while my confusion started in my freshman year because I was very skeptical about the state of my life at that time. …… Even I believe many of my readers have been confused since high school.
The confusion is like a feeling of being “stuck” in life.
There are two reasons for this:
There is less time to think on your own, and more time for false happiness.
The team of 10,000 people behind twitter, the headline’s intelligent recommendation algorithm, the special effects-rich variety comedy, are always pleasing to you, and all you need to do is move your finger, connect to wifi, and feel the pleasure that has been carefully designed.
So the time for you to think is occupied.
And the post-90s live in an age where there has long been no compulsive pressure.
Only children, they don’t have to carry too much.
The first time I saw the company, I thought it would be a good idea to go back to the university.
So the pressure to get ahead is taken out of the equation.
There is no joy that comes at a price, no pressure that has to be carried. This is a life that you can’t say you like or dislike; not very happy, not very unhappy; not really resistant, but not too passionate either.
Asking you what kind of life you really want, you don’t know yourself.
And so it goes on, day after day.
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Confusion, which is a kind oflike “still”state.
Because confusion is not fatal in the short term, it slowly torments our hearts and saps our spiritual energy like a frog boiled in warm water.
So many people don’t take immediate and substantial action to change things because of the feeling of being lost, but just stagnate in a state of limbo and confusion.
Hey, like a pair of shoes that hurt a little, you walk in them every day and slowly get used to them.
The first time I wore a pair of shoes, I was in pain, but I forgot about them as I walked around.
It’s only when you hit a small stone or need to take a step up a flight of stairs that the pain comes back.
So the first step to getting out of a funk is to take the initiative to change the “stillness” first.
Ah, I know we all want to say, “I just don’t know what to do, what should I do?”
But unfortunately, I can’t tell you what to do or what you can do …… because you can only answer that question for yourself.
What I can do for you is to write some experiences and underlying logic to help you find the best answer for you, rather than giving you the answer directly. After all, how can there be reference answers in life? What I give you may not be right for you either.
But what I can guarantee is this –
Explore the unknown, input knowledge you’ve never seen before, and output something valuable to help more people ……
This is something that will definitely keep you from getting lost. At least I’m happy as hell just doing that.
So before I officially start talking about the method, I want you to get in the habit of reading books, listening to TED talks, or watching documentaries.
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In the first step, you don’t have to rush away first. Confusion, but instead go ahead and make a random move to get something definitive, with feedback, as soon as possible.
Many people in a funk either don’t make the effort to change, but try too hard to change off the bat, and end up either overestimating themselves or pushing themselves too hard, only to end up in failure.
So at this stage, make sure to do only the easy things, don’t be greedy for more ~ just do a little bit and move first.
For example, let me give you three things you can start doing tomorrow:
–(1) Set your daily alarm clock 10 minutes earlier;
–(2) Do 10 push-ups before bed, or 10 sit-ups for girls.
–(3) Buy a book and read 10 pages a day.
Why did you set these three things for you?
Because, these three things, respectively, stand for regular rest, exercise, and keeping up with your studies. It’s also a super, super, super simplified version of the flags that many people love to set for themselves.
After all, as I just said, don’t ask yourself to get off your feet all at once, but start with small changes.
Maybe you think these 3 things will bring you too little change, but I suggest you start by doing these 3 things first, not because I want you to get much out of them, but because I want you to get into the habit first.
I’m suggesting you start by getting up 10 minutes early because I want you to feel the subtle benefits of getting up early, like you can buy yourself a breakfast, put on a little more makeup, and read a public article ……
I’m suggesting you do 10 push-ups a day because I want you to feel the difference that exercise makes to you changes, like your sleep quality improving and your arms having subtle lines ……
As for why you should read a book, there’s no need to tell you more. This idea of reading 10 pages a day was put forward by Mr. Hu Shih, who said that sticking to it for a year would make you read more than 3,600 pages, and sticking to it for ten years would be enough to become a scholar.
In short, these little positive feedbacks, can help you get into the habit, and then you can try to slowly “ramp up“.
Try waking up an hour early, taking the initiative to go for a morning run, and reading two books a month …… It’s so much easier to do this with the previous steps~
With these 3 small, simple actions, you feel the power of habit, and you realize that change is not about determination and effort, but about time and patience.
You find that change is not about determination and effort, but about time and patience.
So you slowly move from the stillness of your confusion.
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When you move, wecan move to the nextstep, starting to improveourselves in a certain area and add value toourselves.
It’s okay, I know at this stage you don’t know what you like and what you should do …… Don’t rush yet, finding your interest is the next stage. At this stage, you go ahead and start learning.
If you don’t know what to learn, I can give you a list of skills that will come in handy any way in the future, and you can’t go wrong.
For example:
1. Learn some skills that will be useful for work
Speaking, writing, PPT, new media, Excel, English, programming, psychology, economics, time management, mind mapping, PS ……
-haha I learned new media and writing, and I’m good at mind mapping~
2. Learn some life skills that are useful
Cooking, dressing, nutrition , money management, reading, fixing computers ……
–I just took the nutritionist exam to match myself with healthy recipes~
3 …you can also learn some temperamental skills
Guitar, calligraphy, painting, flower arrangement, dance, pottery, wool felting, woodworking ……
– -My spare time interest is painting, and I also do some resin crafts~
4. And learn some skills that are good for your body
Basketball, skateboarding, long-distance running, badminton, tennis, yoga, combat, swimming… …
–I’m great at badminton hahaha, and I’ve learned to fight and swim too~
You see, there are so many things you can do, and learning them doesn’t stop you from pursuing your interests at all. It’s possible that as you do it, you’ll find out what you’re really interested in.
The important thing is to give yourself something to do and let what you really love emerge slowly, rather than looking at the sky and thinking about it. Don’t let your world get too small so a little bit of confusion can trap you for ages.
As long as you have one reasonable thing to do, your life will seem especially good.
You will slowly forget the confusion of the moment in the fullness of exploration.
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After doing the above two steps, you shouldn’t feel so lost.
But that’s not enough …… because if you’re still not sure what you want and what to do, the confusion will come back to haunt you sooner or later.
So the last step is to find your real area of interest. strong>areas of interest.
I’ll share with you the method I used myself when I was looking for a niche – the idol-gazing method.
Everyone has people they look up to, so you can look up to them, because since you look up to them and envy them, that means at least their niche is something you’re interested in, and you want to be like them, right?
So you can follow these steps through:
– Pick 3-5 of your favorite friends or bloggers from your facebook, from know, public, etc. that you frequent.
– Analyze their niche: what are they doing? What do I like most about them? What do I envy most about what they’ve accomplished?
–Integrate these points and extrapolate back what you need to learn from that achievement you most want to achieve, or some ideal state for your future.
What are the benefits of the idol-gazing method?
The benefit is that you can takea path that others have proven to be successful, and follow his feet, step bystep. If you encounter any bottlenecks and difficulties, you can also go see how he solved them in the first place.
And having an idol to look up to will also be your motivation to keep moving forward, like a street light.
And here’s another fun one: the funeral fantasy method.
This is something Stephen suggested in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and it’s something like this:
Please imagine that you’re dead, and at your funeral, everyone is closing the book on you. At this point, what would you most like to hear people say about you, and that comment, perhaps, is a career worth spending your life pursuing.
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I’m sure you’ve all seen the classic line from Forrest Gump (I’ll just copy it down):
Life is likeaboxofchocolates,youneverknowwhatyou’regoingtoget .
–Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.
But we always hope that life is not like a box of chocolates full of unknowns, but wantis: God, please! Give mea prospect! Tell me which is better to choose!
But reallife, it won’t be what you want it to be.
In an interview with GQ, Xue Zhaofeng said:
Life doesn’t start when you’re all ready. Life has already started, you run out of time in the process of experimentation, and being cheated itself is a regular part of life.
So the good thing is, life is all about the “unknown,” the “variables,” the “luck,” the “trial and error. “
So the beauty of life is that it’s all about the unknown, the variables, the luck, the trial and error.
If everything was scripted, you wouldn’t be confused, you’d just feel like there was no point in living.
Soso, just go and feel the charm of life, and and conquer the confusion on the road, I’m with you on this~