When a marriage relationship spans decades, the couple in the marriage will gradually transform love into affection, such affection is different from relatives, but the sublimation of the couple’s feelings. The newest addition to the list is the newest addition to the list.
Advice 1: Couples should get along harmoniously and not just attach themselves to each other
Advice 2: Couples should develop their own hobbies and not interfere with each other
Advice 3: Couples should respect each other and not go over old scores
Advice 4: Couples should respect each other and not go over old scores
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Advice 1: Couples should get along harmoniously and not just attach themselves to each other
In the Analects of Confucius – Zi Lu, there is a saying: “A gentleman is harmonious but different, a villain is the same but not harmonious”. The word “harmony” here means harmony, and the word “sameness” means attachment. The gentleman gets along with each other and doesn’t try to be conciliatory, daring to point out the bias of the other side; the villain will try to conciliate and flatter the other side’s words and deeds, but there will be no real harmony between you. How is this not the case between husband and wife? Couples need to get along “and different”, the only way to achieve mutual success. The first thing you need to do is to get to know each other.
Senior couples get along well just by being amicable, and if they want to pay further attention to details, then they have to do so without casually attaching themselves to each other. For example, your partner has recently been sold some supplements without any guarantee, and she is going to buy some back. This time you need to stop, not afraid to spend money, but this is obviously a fraudulent money, the loss is not worth it. The old partner does not care about their own health to help their children to take care of their children, this time you should consider for the health of the old partner, do not go hard to fight, health is the most important. Older couples do not get along with each other, for each other’s sake, this is what we call “and different”. We need to be evenly attuned to this issue, so that we can live happily and harmoniously in our old age!
Advice 2: Couples should develop their own hobbies and not interfere with each other
Everyone has different hobbies, some like fishing, some like dancing, all are different. And for older couples, who have more time, the energy they can spend on their hobbies will naturally be greater.
To illustrate more clearly the problem of interfering with each other’s hobbies, let’s take an example:
The husband likes fishing more, and seeing that he has more time at the moment, he starts to go fishing every day at the suburban creek, and he is very happy with this life. The wife prefers to dance, a hobby she enjoyed when she was young, but because she had to bring up her children, she simply didn’t have the time. Now that she has time to do what she likes, she is in a good mood, but she also needs a partner to dance. The first time I saw the company, I was very happy to see it.
The two of them had a lot of arguments about conflicting hobbies, and when they got heated, they would say, “What’s the use of fishing (dancing) every day! Look at you gettin’ all excited!” What is the biggest problem of the couple in the example? There are two points: one, the husband lacks care for his wife; the other, the wife imposes her hobbies on her husband. In the marriage together, the two couples need to get along, but also need to care for and understand each other. Especially when the other party is in high spirits (low), do not hit each other’s enthusiasm. Especially about each other’s hobbies, not to carry out criticism. You can think of this in a different way:
Wife: If a husband leaves his fishing to dance with his wife, do you think he will be happy deep down? Obviously not. The husband doesn’t like dancing at all. Husband: Is he neglecting his wife because he is out fishing every day? Although he did not say yes to his wife’s invitation, but the least he can do is to give her encouragement in words. If the couple can think like this, then there will be no quarrel between them as in the example. The two couples should not interfere with each other’s hobbies, and learn to think differently, so that the couple can be at peace with each other.
Advice 3: Respect each other and don’t go over old debts
Mutual respect is the foundation of a stable marriage, and on top of that, couples need to pay attention to one detail: don’t go over old debts with each other. “not only can not solve the problem, but will intensify the conflict. Even you take each other’s previous faults jokes can not, each other may not turn the other face, but inside will be extremely upset. The “old scores” behavior in psychology can be explained as “emotional attachment effect”. The emotional attachment effect refers to the influence of emotional states on the process of memory extraction. The more you look back on the past, the more negative emotions you will feel, and the more you talk about it, the more angry you will get.
The main reason why marriages fight is not the problem itself, but the fact that couples attack each other, constantly denigrating each other, instead of communicating positively. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.