There are many people who complain that they feel very bored after marriage, always feel that the other party is not good enough in this area, that area does not take care of the thoughtfulness, creating a boring and uninteresting feeling, what to do when encountering these problems?
Why do you feel so bored after getting married? What to do?
Yes, this really can be a big problem. It’s also the issue that some marriage experts often hear the most complaints about. Fortunately, none of this situation is difficult to resolve. But unfortunately, the source of the problem is often something we don’t want to look at head on.
The truth is, the problem is you!
Often, the wonderful qualities in our partners that attracted us to them: stability, reliability, realism, sanity end up being a direct source of boredom. That which makes one feel safe in a relationship can also become a torturous boredom. Yes, the TA is still the TA and you are still you, neither has changed at all. That fascinating aspect of the other person is still there. For you, it’s just not obvious anymore because you’re focusing on the unsatisfying aspects of the relationship.
The bad news is that, no matter what, there will always be something about your lover that doesn’t sit well with you. But let’s say you, like most people, have this belief that maybe you would be happier if it were with another person (who is more interesting, exciting, imaginative and passionate than your lover).
This is not the case. If you really wanted to find more passion and adventure in your life, then that’s the kind of person you would have chosen when you were choosing your spouse in the first place. But you didn’t. My guess is that you didn’t choose the wrong person.
Like most people, you chose someone who could satisfy you in one way or another. There is no one, who can meet all of our needs. The good news is that this situation can still be changed.
1. Stop thinking about what you don’t like about him and start focusing on what you do appreciate about him.
especially those qualities that initially moved your heart. Don’t keep yourself there to appreciate it, remember to tell him you appreciate it. Remember to tell him, every day, that I appreciate your presence.
2. If we can’t change the situation, then we need to allow ourselves to change the way we perceive and respond to the situation.
Sometimes, boredom comes from repressed anger and resentment. When we stop pinning our hopes on being able to change the other person, and instead take responsibility for what comes our way. Look inward, and then you’ll find some truth.
3. Boredom also means you’re not fully betting your attention on the other person.
Is the TA now really the same as the one from a few years ago? We should choose to look at each other with a newer eye. See if the TA has changed over the years or not. When you find out, you also have to tell your TA, express your gratitude and appreciation, and realize that your TA has really grown over the years.
4. Finally, those who are bored with their partners are often bored with their own lives as well.
Do you have some unfulfilled dreams? Are you looking for excuses for those you don’t have yet? Stop continuing to complain, get out of that funk and start some adventures! Before we die, we really have to find those things we really want to do and start practicing them. Don’t blame boredom on the other person because you don’t have the courage to live the life you want.
Only if you really do all of the above, maybe your life will be more colorful. And when your life does start to get interesting, your lover will join the “not boring” team.