I came to Ningbo in 2000 to study at university, and I didn’t expect to meet my other half here, and I didn’t expect to be rooted in this city ever since. I thought I was a lucky guy, but now I often wonder if I made the right choice to stay here.
I took a day and night train from my hometown to Ningbo.
When I first entered college, my class teacher recommended me to join the editorial department of the school magazine. Unlike regular magazines, our editorial department does not have formal typesetting software or design staff, but only outsources the typesetting and printing to an off-campus design company. Because of this, I had the opportunity to meet Feng Xiao.
In December 2000, I walked into that design firm for the first time with all the materials for the current issue of the school magazine. A handsome boy came up to me and offered to help me organize my materials.
It was reassuring to watch him skillfully operate the computer and carefully import the manuscript with such a focused look. The first time I saw it, I was able to get it out of my head, and the boy told me, “Take it back and proofread it, and if you want to make any changes, call me.
As I got in touch with the company, I gradually learned who Feng Xiao was. He was the son of the general manager, the vice president of the company, a computer science graduate, and in charge of the company’s design business. In the eyes of others, he is a young talent, and although the company is small, Feng Xiao is very talented.
I am a person who is easily attracted to talented people, and as I got to know Feng Xiao better, I became one of his many admirers, silently following him. This secret admiration continued for several years, and I admired Feng Xiao, but did not have the opportunity to reveal this to him.
Fortunately, I secretly observed that he, who was born in 1979, has never had a regular partner around him and has no intention of getting married.
In the second half of 2002, the school had to print a batch of calendars and greeting cards, and Feng Xiao and I became partners again.
At that time, my course schedule was more relaxed and I had a lot of free time, so I often went to dinner and played badminton with Feng Xiao, and it was during that time that we became closer quickly.
On one dinner, I took the initiative to order wine and talked to Feng Xiao about falling in love. I said I was eager to meet someone who was talented and cherished me during my college years. I looked at him meaningfully as I said it, and I think he got the message in my eyes.
Astonished by my courage, Feng Xiao accepted, saying he wasn’t a very good relationship person, but that he would try to find love with me.
After being with Feng Xiao, my vanity was greatly satisfied, and the envious and jealous looks I got from other girls filled me with pride. The only downside is that Feng Xiao, who has a lean career, is really an elbow grease when it comes to relationships.
He doesn’t know how to be romantic, he doesn’t know how to create surprises, and I have to remind him when to call me and when to give me a gift.
In order to maintain his Prince Charming image, I made a small table of all the anniversaries and put it in his wallet so that he would remember them in time.
The good thing is that Feng Xiao can stand up to the point, and slowly, those little romances of love have multiplied.
At that time, I was so in love with Feng Xiao that I could not stop thinking about him. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem of the problem. Soon, Feng Xiao’s parents also became familiar with me, and I could see that they were quite satisfied with me.
With Feng Xiao’s parents’ approval, I was in and out of his house more often and had more opportunities to accompany him to parties with friends. But there are some small details about Feng Xiao that make my heart pound.
For example, sometimes after going to his house for dinner, it was already late and I really wanted Feng Xiao to drive me back to school, but he never took the initiative to mention it, and many times it was only at the request of his parents that he dawdled to put on his shoes and go out, often with a token walk down the stairs and let me take a taxi back to school. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public, such as the Internet, the Internet, and the Internet.
I was aggrieved and doubted whether he truly loved me, but in the end, it was overcome by my love for him. I felt that I could not leave Feng Xiao, and that anything I could do for him would be worth it.
In 2005, shortly after I graduated, we got married at the urging of Feng Xia’s parents.
When I got married right out of school, and my in-laws’ family was well off, and there was a car in the bride price, I was the envy of my classmates. I also hoped that this happiness would continue, but reality is slowly changing.
Feng Xiao was careless in love, and I had hoped that he would change after the wedding and be more attentive to me, but I soon found out that this vision was naive, and he was still him, even more so than before the wedding.
When I was in love with Feng Xia and his family, I often took over the household chores, cooking, washing dishes, mopping the floor when I arrived at his house, not thinking that after marriage, Feng Xia also naturally put these chores on my head, and he was happy to be a hands-off person.
He hardly did anything but play with the computer and watch TV.
When I came home from work, I saw a mountain of dirty dishes and clothes, and I asked Feng Xiao to come along and give me a hand, but he said he hadn’t been able to do that since he was a kid.
Feng Xia is a workaholic who works overtime and can come home late at night at one or two o’clock. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. “
They are not only the most popular, but also the most popular.
This situation became worse after my daughter was born. Usually, he rarely even had a chance to hold her, let alone make her formula. Because of my lack of milk, I have been giving my daughter formula, which is easily hungry, and my daughter often wakes up in the middle of the night, wailing for food.
Feng Xiao was taking on new projects during that time, and sometimes he would get up in the middle of the night and tinker with all that software on his computer.
The first time I heard my daughter crying, he was so annoyed that once he simply put on his clothes and shoes, took his laptop with him and went to live outside in a hotel for a week.
I found it particularly hard to feel that I was not yet out of the month, when I needed my husband’s attention, and that my daughter still needed to be taken care of, and that a nanny, no matter how competent, could not replace the care of the child’s biological parents. I really doubt that Feng Xiao loves this child or not.
The shadows of the mundane surround me, layer by layer, as my marriage with Feng Xiao enters its fourth year, but it is becoming more and more tasteless.
I thought it was worth giving everything to this man, worth entering into marriage for him, but now I often wonder about my choice, giving myself endlessly without getting any warmth in return.
People say that marriage is reciprocal, but why is my marriage so out of balance?