I am 23 years old, graduated from a college, now in the city of graduation to find an administrative job, early this year to talk about a boyfriend, two years younger than me, but we have a good relationship, very good conversation, he opened a beauty store near the university, he and his mother jointly run their store, the monthly net income is more than ten thousand, but the financial power is in the hands of his mother, he said his mother monthly to give him a salary, the salary is similar to my salary, I rent my own house. He said his mother pays him a monthly salary, which is similar to my salary, and I rent my own house.
Then he moved in with me without my consent, but I didn’t want to, but I didn’t know how to refuse him, so I moved in.
I used to pay up to a third of my salary for rent, utilities, supplies, etc., but now it’s at least half because he’s so wasteful with things, and he always thinks I buy bad things.
We usually only eat together in the evening, and when we do it at home I buy the food, and when we eat out he pays for it, but usually he pays for it twice and then jokingly says next time you buy me food, and as long as we are together, when he needs to call, he uses my phone, reasoning that my phone is cheaper to call, I am speechless.
If it was just a financial problem I could put up with it, the key problem is that now we broke up because he said he couldn’t focus on running the store with me, I don’t even get it anymore, I’m not a clingy kind of person, he said that and it’s really just a not-so-smart excuse.
I was sad for a while and agreed to break up, so I told him that since we broke up, we should live separately, and he started to get upset when he heard that we were still living together before we found a new significant other, just that the relationship had changed from living together to sharing a room, and I disagreed, but he just wouldn’t leave, and I didn’t want to have a complete falling out with him over it, so I compromised again.
I told him we couldn’t have a relationship during this period, and he would pay half of the rent, which he promised to do, but he couldn’t do it at all.
There are also a lot of trivial things in life that make me feel that he is selfish and that he is using me. I am in a lot of pain and don’t know what to do, I hope you can help me figure out what to do.
Expert Response:
He’s moving in, wouldn’t you tell him your parents come over occasionally and don’t want a guy staying at your house without a name? If he were to dislike what you bought, wouldn’t you tell him to go buy it and you use his stuff? If he jokes that next time you buy me food, you will not say, “Well, next time you pay the rent”? The first thing you need to do is to get your own clothes.
I don’t understand why so many things that you don’t agree with yourself, he insists on, and you agree. It’s a good idea to take advantage of things that are clearly on you, so why don’t you just roll over with him. If you’re a man who lives in your house for nothing, you may have already thrown him far away, right? If he was your ex-boyfriend, how did you get soft? The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
In my imagination, it would be like this: every time he wanted to have sex with you, he sweet-talked you, sent you empty promises, and then left you alone afterwards. And you believe him every time, and afterwards he deviated from the promise you feel that you were cheated. But the next time he lied to you, you still can’t help but believe. Why? The reason is that the prospect he painted for you was too good to be true. A man who earns more than $10,000 a month is indeed rare in your life; if he really wants to be with you for the rest of your life, it couldn’t be better for you.
Did you know? The donkey will never understand that it can’t be eaten, it always thinks that if it tries harder, it will be able to eat, so it will just keep on going in circles to do the work. This is why in fairy tales we always say that the donkey is a “stupid donkey”. Because it does not know how to think, does not know how to sum up the lesson, always time and time again on the fool. I don’t know if you get the moral of this story.
Okay, back to this, why don’t you just completely fall out with him? What kind of person is he to you now? The fact that you have no name, no points, no rent and you’re having sex with you? If he hadn’t left, wouldn’t you have packed his things and put them on the doorstep? Wouldn’t you find a friend of yours and ask her to come and stay with you for a month to get him to leave? Wouldn’t you bring your parents out and have them come visit you and change the locks while you’re at it? Anyway, in short, if you do not know how to refuse, if you want to keep your face, then you have to pay the price for it. The key to the problem depends on how much you are willing to pay for it. In short, when you get pregnant and have to go for surgery, don’t blame us for not warning you when you are crying out in pain on the hospital bed.
A good woman should not have the word ex-boyfriend in her vocabulary, and a breakup is a stranger. If he does any more harassing behavior that you don’t want, you should deal with him like a pervert. If I were you, I’d throw his stuff out, and if he comes back, I’d call 911.