Not everything in life is going to be smooth sailing, especially certain things that are important to you, like marriage. Even couples who are very much in love and able to grow old together have had their share of arguments along their marriage journey, and not just once, but why were they able to spend decades of their lives hand in hand? Here we will summarize the problems that couples tend to have in marriage and the solutions.
1. Household chores distribution
Nowadays, many couples have both partners working outside work, so it’s important to arrange chores fairly.
Solution: Organize your chores in an orderly fashion and be clear about what you are responsible for at home. Distribute chores fairly. Discuss solutions together. If neither of you likes to do housework, consider hiring someone to do it. If one partner likes to do chores, the other can do the laundry and garden stuff.
2. Trust issues
Trust is important in a marriage relationship. Is there any particular behavior of the other person that makes you distrust them? Is there a hidden crisis of trust that you are having?
Solutions: Be consistent and on time; do what you said you would do; don’t lie to your partner and others, even if it’s a well-intentioned lie; be fair, even when you’re fighting; and value other people’s feelings. Don’t ignore your partner’s feelings even if you don’t agree with him/her; call when you said you would; call to tell your partner you’ll be home late; carry your fair share of the workload; don’t overreact when something isn’t right; never say things you can’t take back; don’t reveal scars; respect your partner’s privacy; don’t be jealous; and be a good listener.
3. Sexual problems
Even very loving partners can This is because people lack sex education and sexual self-awareness.
The solution: plan and plan again. A date, not necessarily at night, can be chosen on a Saturday at noon when the kids are napping, or for quick sex before work, or a change of sex venues, such as the kitchen or by the fireplace can add to the fun of sex. Talk to your partner to see what will really turn him or her on, and then do it accordingly.
4. Money Problems
Many marital problems arise before the marriage vows. Many marital problems, such as money, begin when you start planning the cost of your wedding.
Solution: Be honest with your partner about your current financial situation. Don’t broach the subject of money when you fight, and take time to discuss money issues calmly. Acknowledge that one person on both sides must be the frugal type and the other the wasteful type, and that it’s good for both partners to complement each other. Don’t hide debts and salaries. Make financial files, including recent credit card bills, stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, etc., explicit. Don’t blame each other. Set up a joint account that includes savings. Determine which party pays the monthly bills. Allow each other the right to handle their own money independently. Make short and long term plans, you can have a personal plan but you should also have a family plan. Make a financial plan for your parents’ retirement.
5. Not taking your marriage to heart
If you want your If you want your marriage to continue, make it the focus at all times, not just when you answer “I do.
The solution: Do something that you did on your first date. Such as a gesture of appreciation, complimenting each other, connecting with each other throughout the day, showing your interest in him/her. Plan a romantic date for the evening. Treat each other with respect.
6, Conflict, Argument
The occasional conflict is unavoidable. But too much conflict and bickering needs to be addressed. It’s best for both parties to work things out in a peaceful way.
Solution: You are not the victim, and it is your choice whether and how you fight back. Be honest with yourself! When you are fighting, are your words trying to solve the problem or are you just trying to hit back at the other person? If your words are blaming and hurtful, it’s best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
If you’re still reacting in a way that upsets and hurts you, why not change it up a bit? Give a little and gain a lot. If you’re wrong, apologize, it’s hard, but you’ll receive unexpected surprises.
7. Communication problems
Almost all marriage problems stem from inability to communicate.
The solution: Make time. Go on a real date with your partner. If you live together, then wait until the kids are asleep, put your phone on vibrate, let the phone message machine answer the call, and have a long talk with him or her. If you can’t communicate softly with your partner, choose a quiet public place like a library, park, or restaurant because you’ll be embarrassed if you talk loudly in those places. Set some rules.
For example, don’t interrupt each other at work and ban things like, “You’re always …… you never… …” or something like that. A big part of communication is listening, so when communicating with your partner, don’t scribble, look at your watch, or pick your nails; make it seem like you’re listening intently.