Friends get together, but everyone is playing with their phones by themselves because of lack of conversation? Experts say that just playing with the phone at a party indicates that the person is psychologically insecure and intimate, and should try to communicate with friends as much as possible, and that conversation can release stress and help with mental health.
Expert Explanation: Most people play with their phones because they lack a sense of security
Expert Profile: Shen Jiahong, senior psychotherapist and supervisor, visiting professor of psychology at Guangzhou University of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and assessor of the high group of psychological counseling at the Guangdong Vocational Identification Center.
In the age of advanced Internet, people’s social circle seems to become larger, but in the fast-paced life, most people simply do not have the opportunity to meet new friends. Socialization and interpersonal relationships have become a modern dilemma: people are becoming more and more accustomed to virtual life on the Internet and less and less comfortable with real life in the real world.
These young white-collar workers are either smart and capable or racking their brains or exhausted during the day or workday. The choice to communicate with the person on their phone at a dinner party rather than with the person sitting next to them or at the same table is very often out of escape or denial of reality, and allowing themselves to indulge in the atmosphere of being alone seems to make them feel more secure.
This is a situation that makes some people uncomfortable because the real person feels ignored, not because there is something wrong with the person who is wallowing in the virtual. In fact, it is also a person’s freedom and right to interact with others. Everyone has a choice, and he can choose to interact with the person at the table or the person sitting next to him, or not.
When more and more people choose to deal with people in the virtual world, it means that in the real world he can’t find security and intimacy, it means that our real world lacks some sincerity, some acceptance, some love, something that the person who looks at his phone and plays twitter wants. When a society lacks integrity, when a society lacks conscience, when a society lacks moral standards, when a society where everyone is at risk, it is only natural that people choose to be detached from reality and affinity with the virtual. The Internet fans at the dinner table who choose to interact with the virtual world in their cell phones are precisely calling for integrity, love and security in the real world.
How do you open the conversation at a friend’s party?
First of all, you can’t always think about running out of things to say, which tends to create a psychological implication for yourself that can lead to communication barriers. Secondly, you can start talking about your common hobbies with your friends, or talk about what’s going on in your life or what’s popular at the moment. If you are already a person who is not good at talking, your friends will surely understand you. If you want to talk in front of your friends, you can talk, and if you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to stress about finding a topic.
At a party with multiple people, if you feel pressured, you can start by talking to one or two friends who are better connected, just like at home, without caring about the presence of others, and slowly increase the number of people you talk to, and just join in naturally when you come across a topic you like. If you have a friend who is particularly good at talking, you can let him take you with him, and it will be easier with his drive.
When you get together with colleagues or people you don’t know very well, if you don’t know what to say, you can ask about each other’s preferences beforehand, and you can keep an eye out for some details about each other during the party, or you can even prepare a few topics in advance. The other party mentioned some keywords during the chat, you may also have the same feelings or experiences, you can communicate with each other, but also can be a good topic of conversation over, speaking about each other’s topics oriented to their own interests.
Chatting with friends can help relieve psychological stress. Don’t refuse to chat because you feel “tired” or for other reasons, and pay attention to expanding your social circle.