In modern life, there are more and more leftover women because the aesthetics of most women have improved and the criteria for choosing a spouse has improved along with them, leading to the longer they are left.
1. The reason she is at the mercy of God: “I can’t touch the other half”
1. indent:2em;text-align:left;”>Behind the reason: She’s right. She hadn’t met the right person. Because she was unwilling to take the risk, she had told herself she was bound to lose before she walked into battle. She refused to face the danger that feelings might bring. Her rejection of relationships is a blindfold for her lack of confidence.
And, if she is persuaded to start a relationship, she is quick to admit, “I’m a loser no matter what!” What kind of a mother does such a self-depreciating woman have? Does her mother say more frequently that the only way you can find a man is to lose weight, stop cutting your hair, be more feminine, and go to more social gatherings? Or did she start two-thirds of her sentences with “My poor daughter”? In order to get out of the pain of self-contempt, the woman who is at the mercy of fate may move from “I am a loser” to “men are losers”. Well, that’s exactly what Mom always says!
How do you overcome this fear? Start learning about self-confidence and recognizing your self-worth.
2. As a female warrior, she reasons, “Men are afraid of me.”
Behind the reason: Of course men are afraid of her, because she is strong and confident. No one sees that she has a wounded and crying child inside her. What childhood trauma is she trying to repair as she grows up? What is it that she rebels against? Was it her father, her grandfather, her brother, her boss or her ex-boyfriend? Did she ever see her mother repeatedly humiliated, and thus secretly resolve never to repeat her old mistakes?
Just because she rejects the hopes and needs of her emotional life, she has to make herself more independent. She wants to be in charge of her own life, and she believes that no one can live up to her demands. Some may say she thinks highly of herself. But in reality, she has been hovering between low self-esteem and self-importance.
How do you overcome this fear? What is important to understand is that before conquering men, we have to become masters of ourselves. To confront our past.
3. Independent for her reasons: “I love my freedom.”
Behind the reason: She is busy working, working out, going to exhibitions, going to concerts, meeting with friends, and taking vacations. But she doesn’t have 1 minute to herself. Where in her schedule is there time for a man? In fact, she makes her life so full precisely so that she leaves no room for men to have a place in her life.
Where does this extreme desire for self-control and fear of losing control come from? Most likely, her parents like to dictate orders, always judging her, always criticizing, always looking at her with a critical eye. If she couldn’t say “no” to this kind of scrutiny when she was a little girl, then she couldn’t face men when she grew up. So she chose to close herself off and not leave any gaps.
4. Romantic Her Reason: “I’m waiting for the right person”
4. indent:2em;text-align:left;”>Behind the reason: The romantic one hasn’t grown up yet and still thinks she’s a superhero who gets whatever she wants. She may come across as smart, capable and sober in many areas. But when it comes to relationships, she’s “blind”! She is waiting for her Prince Charming at the tip of the ivory tower. Her fears are hidden behind romance and pure love. But her life is a challenge to mediocrity.
Unfortunately, she will keep waiting, because if she doesn’t take that step, no one will walk towards her. Especially if she doesn’t accept the reality that Prince Charming was never a real person, and that people make mistakes, just as she herself did.
How do you overcome this fear? Face it: go to the movies alone or chat on a dating site.
5. Plato’s reason for her: “I don’t like sex.”
Behind the reason: she likes her job, has a lot of friends around her, and in short, she knows how to manage relationships, provided of course that there is no sex involved. It’s not love she’s afraid of but sex. Many women fail to recognize this. In the past, she was able to face this fear in the arms of her partner, no matter what.
Now that celibacy is accepted by everyone, she simply takes this form to avoid sex. As time goes by, her fear of sex will deepen. At the very least, the “sexualized” society of today does not allow her to feel at ease. In addition, she fears that her inability to enjoy sex traps her in a “dysfunctional” state.
How do you overcome this fear? Improve your body’s ability to sense through dance, exercise, and bodywork.