In the polish of time, I married before her, and my mother’s family soon moved away, and thus we gradually lost touch. The first time I saw her, I recognized her on the street, and we were jumping and screaming with joy. We chose an elegant environment, low back to the lingering music of the coffee house, after sitting, through the coffee heat and strong fragrance, I found that in addition to the time in her forehead branded with untouchable folds and make her a little more dust, she is still as beautiful. I asked her about her marriage with concern, but her first words shocked me: “I am very distressed, I don’t know if I should change my husband.” I think her life is more grotesque than unfortunate.
“You remember, my father was not good to my grandmother, but I never imagined that this would directly affect my sex life with my husband.” After a moment’s pause, her eyes suddenly glowed with happiness. She said, “You know, when I was a girl I longed for love and wanted boys to compliment my beauty. Therefore, I was surrounded by a succession of boys. Nevertheless, I still guarded the most precious last line of defense for girls, in exchange for my husband’s respect for me. But I never dreamed that when we both could not wait to get into the role, with a sharp pain and an indescribable feeling of revulsion at the same time to me, I violently pushed my husband off of me. My husband was moved to tears as he watched me bleed from below, and kept reassuring me that he had moved too roughly and would be careful next time. That night, I spent it in the arms of my husband.”
“But the problem was far from as simple as we thought. We were usually in love, but as soon as we had intercourse with him, I was disgusted with him and couldn’t carry on at all.” My husband thought it was his lack of preparation and stroked my nipples very patiently. I felt an obvious urge in my body, but an indescribable feeling of discomfort came over me, and naturally sex could not go on. I have analyzed myself before and after, and I actually crave sex, because when my husband is not around, I often have an uncontrollable sexual urge inside me, and sometimes have strange dreams that I am ashamed to talk about, such as hugging and kissing and touching some boys I don’t even know, and sometimes actively touching the boys’ genitals, which makes me feel very comfortable.
“I decided to find out the psychological motivation for my weirdness. During an intercourse that forced me to give my full attention, I was shocked to discover that my husband’s physique and voice resembled my father’s, something I had felt when I met him, but just hadn’t thought about it deeply. And whenever my husband and I were engaged in intercourse, my father’s ferocity and my grandmother’s wailing would haunt my subconscious like a ghost. So an irrepressible revulsion arose and obstructed my brain consciousness. I still remember clearly that after my grandmother had a stroke, when I was very young, my father, who was a violent and handsome man, gave my grandmother a mouthful of food or emptied the potty, and then hooked his forefinger and knocked her forehead hard to show his displeasure for three whole years. As far as I can remember, my grandmother was always bruised and swollen. Finally, Grandma could not stand her father’s abuse and died on hunger strike.” All along, my father was also very mean to me, and I grew up under his slap. These painful shadows have lasted as I’ve grown older and the marks are becoming clearer and clearer.
Shan Lan got her confusion out of her system in one breath. I said, “So how can your relationship with your husband go any further? According to you, it is very difficult to maintain your relationship as a couple, because, sex is the most effective reconciler to maintain the marriage relationship.” She added with a helpless face, “I also know that this will bring negative consequences to our marriage, for so many years, I have held back to have sex with my husband. Whenever I have sex, I close my eyes tightly and put on a look of dead pigs not afraid of water, and let him sweat on top. I have been numb as if I was completing a task that had to be done. Once in the intercourse with my husband, I actually forgot what I was doing, mouth while stoned melon seeds, while very loudly tilted his head spitting out the melon shells, so that my husband was not interested in slipping off me, and scolded me a lot. I often wonder if I should have a new husband.”
After hearing Shan Lan’s story, my heart was heavy, and I knew she was a classic sexually challenged person. The most critical thing about the development of things to this point is that she did not seek counseling from a counselor in time and did not receive timely guidance from a counselor. Because, sex is completely controlled by the central god of the brain, when she is having intercourse with her husband who is very much like her fierce father, the father’s appearance, the evil deeds to her grandmother will be penetrated into her brain, the interest is immediately greatly reduced, the pleasure is completely gone. In this way, the vicious cycle continues year after year, and the results are predictable. As to whether she should change her husband, as she said, I Yang this may be better, but so many years of sexual life caused by the rebellion against sex, will really disappear without a trace? And with this price for sexual trysts, is it too sunken a bit?
So the only thing I can do to help her now is to advise her to get over the unnecessary mental blockage caused by the psychological factor as soon as possible, preferably by going to a psychological clinic and having a psychotherapist give her specific psychological guidance to face reality rationally. The first thing you should do is to take a look at the website.