It is inevitable that people get along with each other, especially couples who spend time together, and quarrels are inevitable. But quarrel is also an art, some people in the quarrel after the emotional surge, and some people in the quarrel after the marriage broke up. The difference is that you did not take the right quarrel, say things that should not be said, crossed the red line of the couple quarrel can not be touched. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Don’t get involved with a “third party.
When there is an altercation, anyone who is related to the other person, whether it is a parent or friend, or a colleague or neighbor, may be seen as a “raccoon”. A belly full of anger will also affect these innocent people, “we buy a house, your parents did not pay”, “your friends in addition to coax you to spend money, cheat you out, what else will do” …… British psychologists point out that quarrels involving family and friends will expand the battlefield. (A small reminder: this is the most likely bridge in a fight, and often makes the other person think you’re somehow being unreasonable.)
Don’t make something out of nothing.
“You never ask my opinion, you always make up your own mind!” “Whatever you want! No matter what I do, you don’t see eye to eye.” Zheng asked her husband to order a new TV, and when it arrived, she began to complain that he didn’t respect her opinion. A civil war broke out. This dialogue is a good example of “making something out of nothing”, the root cause of which is miscommunication. Emotional experts point out that a smart wife should know how to give her husband to eat “sugar-coated shells”. Instead of angrily accusing each other, it is better to reason. For example, “You bought something great, and I’m only upset because I didn’t help, which makes me feel like I didn’t do my best.
Don’t use a negative tone.
“You never care about the kids,” “You always forget the important things,” these These words are denying the other person’s efforts for marriage and family. Emotional experts say that words that negate each other’s role, such as “a colleague’s husband is much better than you”; words that erase each other’s value, such as “you can’t do anything right”; words that express negative expectations, such as “if you can’t live, don’t live, divorce ” – are “angry words” that seriously affect the stability of the marriage. In fact, only to feel the other party’s attention and affirmation, feel their efforts to get a positive feedback, will respond with a positive attitude.” (Editor’s note: Women love to use this tone of voice to criticize each other, to generalize and hurt men’s self-esteem, and men may reply, “If I’m so bad, you go find someone else,” and then a small fight may cause a big war.)
Less involvement of elders.
Parents are often “protective” of their children’s interests, ignoring their children’s interrelationships in the marriage and the couple’s common interests. As a result, young couples may be in their parents’ “support”, the formation of two factions, and even induce marital power struggle, a little bit of wear and tear emotions. Therefore, it is best to avoid the elders when couples argue, and not to complain about each other in front of their parents.
No anger.
It’s not uncommon to hear couples complain about each other, “You made me lose my temper and lose face” or “You nagged me and made me miss important calls. I missed an important call”. But the mistakes you make should be borne by yourself, and you should not take it out on your lover. The real intimacy is when each family member is able to reveal their true selves, thoughts and feelings openly without being ridiculed, rejected or angered, according to Yuru Wang.
The past is never mentioned again.
This can easily turn a “sesame seed” into a “watermelon” and make it difficult to end the relationship. To avoid this problem, couples should “make a deal” and agree to “not mention any faults from a month ago”.
This way, both parties feel like they can “start over” and not carry the burden of past mistakes. (A small reminder: some people like to bring up each other’s past relationships when they fight, which is completely irrational. You have to believe that you have chosen each other, into the marriage, then the past is just a cloud of smoke. (Bringing this up hurts people and hurts yourself.)
Cold wars are wars of attrition.
After a quarrel, you deliberately do not answer each other’s phone calls, treat each other as air, and move back to your mother’s house in a fit of anger …… Cold war is like a gamble, betting on patience to see who first The compromise. But the cost, is the feelings in the cooling. Small tips, couples standoff if more than 48 hours, negative emotions will overwhelm love or affection, the relationship is prone to deterioration, derived from more conflicts. This is a very undesirable practice.
“Divorce” should not be on your lips.
The most taboo thing to say in a couple’s fight is divorce, and maybe you’re just threatening, but that’s what kills the most. Especially some wives love to put “divorce” on the lips, which is the most taboo issue for middle-aged couples. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.