James Wade, an American psychologist, has done a survey of some office workers, and 50% of them have experienced anger at work. And suppressing that anger is a terrible feeling; you can feel agitated and even bored with your work. For their own stinky temper in the workplace is difficult to control, feel angry what to do? Here are some tips for you! It’s normal to have a temper in life. Well, in the workplace, your stinky temper, but it is likely to become a huge stumbling block to your success. People often say: “Impulsiveness is the devil.” In fact, it’s true.
When people are angry, they often do things that are not thought out and have consequences that you may regret later. The company’s main focus is on the development of new products and services, and on the development of new products and services. So, what should you do when you feel unusually irritable and irritated?
I. Why do you get grumpy and turn into a “stinker” and how do you control it?
First, let’s understand the root cause of your temper tantrums and “stinkers. The only way to treat the “disease” is to know the cause and find a more reasonable solution. Some people, who may not be bad-tempered in ordinary life, often feel grumpy in the workplace, feel angry, or even unable to resolve their anger. However, there are many reasons for this phenomenon. Let’s see which one you are.
1. Dissatisfied with the status quo, don’t like the job
Tip: Would giving up the job make you happy?
Those who don’t have a job are busy trying to find one, while those who do have a job are in deep misery because they are sick of the workplace, and it’s hard to get out. Some people are distressed because they can’t find a job, while others are miserable because they have one. If the job is the source of your pain, why is it hard to quit and leave?
But would quitting your job and giving it up really make you happy? It’s a question we should all think about.
My advice is to focus on “how to like the job or how to hold on to the job”. Don’t shift your pain to “because I don’t like this job”. Instead, try to eliminate the pain and then try to cultivate your mind.
2. Some people don’t get along with you and conflict with you over principles
Tip: There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may seem unreasonable to others.
Why are you angry? There must be this one person whose words and actions are so intolerable that you feel he has violated your bottom line. So, have you ever wondered if these words and actions have caused everyone’s anger? Not really. Some people find it hard to accept, while others feel nothing. If you just consider your own position, his words and actions are indeed abhorrent.
For example, when a Jewish person speaks out on certain issues, fellow Jews are convinced, but their Christian friends next to them may not be so happy to hear it. The president announces certain policies that people in some areas shake their heads at, and people in other areas clap their hands.
So it’s not what someone says or does that triggers your anger, it’s what’s wrong for your position. In other words, it’s not the person who made you angry, it’s you who got angry after hearing his words and seeing his actions. And the anger is because you think “I’m right and he’s wrong,” so the anger is really a reaction when you are too attached to your own opinions or values.
My advice is to let go of the idea that “I’m right” if you want to not get angry. There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may seem incomprehensible to others. When you are angry, you should know how to self-reflect: I am bigoted again, I think that only I am right again. This, then, is a kind of cultivation.
3. Your boss is so hateful that you feel disappointed in him and want him to pay attention to you at the same time
Tip: That’s someone else’s life, you have no right to interfere, just be yourself!
Ms. Liu, who works as a clerk in a foreign company, is 30 years old and struggles with how to get along with her female boss, feeling cranky and unsettled from time to time. She said, “The mood of the company’s female boss changes 24 times a day, does things without guidelines, is spontaneous, never takes into account the feelings of others, and is mean-spirited in her words.” But what really bothered her was, “But it seemed that the bigger problem was with me. I kept hoping she would recognize my abilities and pay attention to me. I can’t even stand it when she pays attention to other co-workers. When I don’t see her after work, I also think, ‘Yeah, she’s just an ordinary person who has no eyesight and spends her days wandering. Instead, she is a poor person who needs my recognition and love!’ Thinking this way, I seemed to understand her good natured irritability, but when I met her at the office, I couldn’t help but look her in the eye and make mistakes in my hands and feet! Then the mood got worse.”
Let’s analyze Ms. Liu’s problem. The first thing is that she thinks there is something wrong with her boss and thinks that she is not normal for wanting to behave in front of this boss. In fact, she is wrong to think that her boss is a problematic person, and secondly there is no need to worry about what her boss thinks. So, what can be done to solve this Ms. Liu’s problem?
First, take off the tinted glasses and realize that whatever this person says or does that makes you unbearable is just words and actions.
In fact, the fact that you feel bitter and angry is really just because you are measuring someone else’s life against your own values to see if they are skewed. The consequence of this is not that she is torturing you, but that she is torturing herself. In fact, whatever she says or does, it’s her own life, not yours, and you need to realize that your bitter, angry self is interfering with someone else’s life.
Your son can’t grow up the way you expect him to, let alone your boss.
Second, “Believe that each person is a unique being who should be lived carefully and with focus.” This sense of self-esteem will instead lead you to respect others and to understand and accept them.
The conclusion that there is something wrong with your boss is really a result of obsessing over “I wish. It’s an arrogance to judge the world by your own ideas.
When a person is arrogant, they end up being the opposite of arrogant – humble. Just like people who are obsessed with power and people who despise power, but become humble when they meet people who have more power than they do.
In fact, there is no superiority or inferiority in anything; the condition of superiority or inferiority arises because of comparison. And humility comes from comparison.