A survey shows that the majority of men and women who divorce under the sign of “personality disagreement” actually do so because of “sexual disagreement.
CASE1: Extreme narcissistic sex
Newly married, Xie is already increasingly afraid to go home. In fact, this marriage is the envy of the sisters from any angle: the husband is an only son, a talented man, and a regional director of a large company at a young age. The first time I saw the company, I was able to get the job done.
However, the real life after the wedding was far from what was expected, and the nightly sex was a bit of a damp squib. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public, such as the Internet, the Internet, the Internet, and the Internet. “The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
Personality tracing:
As Xie’s husband grew up pampered and star-crossed, it was easy to develop a self-centered narcissistic personality. This is also true in sex, demanding that the other person accept him or herself, or even some unrealistic demands, rather than actively giving in and compromising.
Sex is an interaction between a man and a woman, and a tendency to “control” everything like this can make the other person feel oppressed over time, and can deprive them of the joy of being the active one. When conflict arises, it often leads to bigger arguments because they don’t give in to each other.
This kind of conflict is quite common, especially at the moment, when only children have taken up a large proportion of the marriage population. Also among some highly educated and high-status people, it is more likely to occur.
Expert advice:
For this kind of personality, the most important thing is to learn to be tolerant and understanding, and to communicate at all times during sex, so that sex does not become a one-man show.
CASE2: Insecurity can make sex deviate from security as well
Kong came from a single-parent family, her parents divorced when she was very young and she was raised by her mother. The most important thing she heard growing up was her mother’s accusations about “vixens” and cheating husbands. This made her worry about marriage on thin ice.
His husband had recently been promoted to section chief and was flying back and forth on business trips.
The first time I saw him, I was very happy.
Every time she came back from a business trip, she looked carefully through his bag and collar, trying to find some clues, half worried, half expecting something, and even she didn’t know why. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
The husband finally couldn’t take it anymore, but Kong felt he had been hurt the most by the confirmation of his suspicions, and was even more unforgiving.
Personality tracing:
Kong is a paranoid personality. Due to the frustrations of growing up and living on the road, or being exposed to the environment, popularly known as “being encountered,” some people can become suspicious and insecure, even in their sex lives. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
This suspicion is constantly reinforced by the “evidence” they find, like thorny thorns, caught between the couple, hurting both of them, and eventually escalating into indifference and quarrels.
Expert advice:
For this kind of personality, the only way to expand trust is to learn tolerance and trust. Since you are entrusted for life, you need to give the maximum trust to your partner. You can seek help from a psychologist if necessary.
CASE2: Sex can also be inferior
Another inexplicable argument, not even knowing what the cause is. Xiao Dong rolled up his bunk and slept in the study.
Meeting his wife was once a fairy tale of Cinderella and the prince, only the genders were reversed – the wife was the prince, and Cinderella was herself. She is the child of a high cadre, the courtyard flower, with many suitors; while he himself is a poor boy who went to university from a remote village, for which his family owes a large debt. Therefore, the legendary love with his wife made him fall in a dream, but grateful.
After he got married, he struggled with his career on the one hand, and tried to be sexually active on the other, perhaps to find dignity at this moment.
I think it’s a good idea to have a good time, but I don’t know if it’s the pressure of work or the impatience to get things done.
While his wife didn’t say much, Xiaodong couldn’t stand it. Whether it was her silence, or her comfort, or even her light smile, he interpreted it as a great sarcasm to himself, and his heart always tightened.
So his anger grew a lot, and he often lashed out at his wife for no reason, picking on things like the air conditioning being too hot, the blanket being too thin, the perfume being too strong …… Only at this moment did he seem to find some balance.
Personality tracing:
Xiaodong’s family or social environment is relatively depressing, which has imprinted a grayish tinge on his psyche and led to his ambivalence of low self-esteem and excessive self-esteem. On the one hand, out of a sense of inferiority imperceptible to onlookers, they can become particularly sensitive to their lover’s every move and smile, and can wonder at every turn whether it is directed at them, especially when their sexual life is not harmonious.
But they will never show it, because it seems to them that it is a begging, and more than that, it will make their fragile self-esteem unbearable. On the other hand, out of self-protective instincts, they tend to be sexually aggressive, blaming all the problems on the other person and hiding their low self-esteem and insecurities in arguments.
This is a very dangerous personality that is harmful to both marriage and sex.
Expert advice:
Be honest about your thoughts. On the other hand, it is important to learn to know oneself and build self-confidence.
Sex reveals character
Some actions during sex can reveal a person’s character. For example, a slightly exaggerated sexual performance may hide uneasiness and lack of confidence; it also reveals to some extent the importance attached to you and the eagerness to please you. At this point, attention should be paid to soothe their sensitive and fragile nerves. Therefore, if your partner pays little attention to your feelings during sex, it means that the other person is too subjective or not responsible enough, and there is a slight imbalance of respect between the couple that should be pointed out to them.
Personality can influence sexuality
Confident people are brave enough to express themselves, able to give their full attention during sex, and willing to acknowledge and appreciate each other’s sexual behavior and performance, thus increasing the satisfaction and pleasure of the couple; while people with low self-esteem tend to be shy and passive, afraid to initiate sexual activities and express their sexual needs. They tend to be too concerned with each other’s needs and feelings.
Conformists are not accustomed to changing patterns in their sex lives and should be careful of aesthetic fatigue, while explorers are always trying new things and need to be careful to avoid overwhelming their partners with too frequent innovations.