The naked wedding, a way to get married without buying a house, a car, a wedding or even a wedding ring, is another reminder of how this generation can survive in the clash between materialism and spirituality, desire and reality.
The “Naked Marriage” Era of the Post-80s
The popularity of the TV series “Naked Marriage Era” has made the post-80s generation the main focus of society again. When the term “naked marriage” became a buzzword, the post-60s and post-50s were surprised: which generation of people did not start their marriage with a “naked marriage”? Isn’t this a normal thing? How come the post-80s generation has become so dead and alive? The post-80s, however, feel that they have been “hit” by the drama. “It’s not that we are particularly materialistic today. Our fathers did come from poverty. But they didn’t have the strong sense of insecurity that we have today. We don’t have the welfare security of previous generations, and everything around us is material and can be lost at any time …….”
Is it really that different between generations, and what makes the post-80s generation so special?
“Naked marriage” of the post-80s
“Harry. The end of Harry Potter, Han Han became a father, some people began to worry about the lifelong event of Li Lei and Han Mei Mei. The signal that God keeps releasing is beating a drum and a gong: it’s time for all the post-80s to get married.
This is a generation that has been symbolized and commonly discussed, after the educational anxiety of the “little emperor”, the personality trait anxiety of the “only generation”, the responsibility anxiety of the “beat generation”, and the “fall generation”. After experiencing the anxiety of education of the “little emperor”, the anxiety of character traits of the “only generation”, the anxiety of responsibility of the “beat generation” and the anxiety of “anti-sociality” of the “deviant generation”, they have been carried by time and have come to the stage of organizing their own small families. They need to live a traditional family life in peace, just like their fathers. Only, they find that they are still not the same as the previous generation.
A TV show called “The Naked Marriage Era” hit this “different” nerve.
“The post-80s and post-90s are at a very awkward time. The company’s main goal is to provide a stable future. For young people now, it’s a time of desire but no miracle.” Zhou Chong, the scriptwriter of the TV series “Naked Marriage Era” and a professor at the Communication University of China, said, “They (are) more concerned not with their own struggles, but with the ‘second generation of officials’ and the ‘second generation of the poor’, everything is decided by their fathers, all It is decided by innate conditions. That’s why there is anxiety about the phenomenon of naked marriage at this time. Nothing can be trusted, love can’t be trusted, self-struggle can’t be trusted, a lot of things need to be guaranteed materially, having a house and a car, crying in a BMW doesn’t make the marriage a little more secure. Maybe they will become more materialistic.”
Naked marriages, a way to “get married without buying a house, car, wedding or even a wedding ring,” are another reminder of how this generation can survive in conflict between material and spiritual, desire and reality.
Love is still the most important thing
The post-80s have a variety of marriage stories. The post-80s we interviewed could probably be classified as a “naked marriage” group, but they still believe in love.
Liu Jing was registered in her hometown in Jiangxi.
The day was picked by “a quick glance at the calendar”, but unfortunately, it rained.
The day was postponed by one day. The company’s first-ever “marriage registry” was opened in the early morning with her husband-to-be – her boyfriend of more than two years, a “98 percent match” for herself – but fate was not kind to them. The computer system of the marriage registry had a problem, the staff could not solve it, and finally announced that “you can come back tomorrow”. The boyfriend went up to take a look at the IT he simply helped people to fix the computer. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies that will be able to provide the best possible service.
“Others must think we are too incredible, people are carefully chosen time and place, think of what words, the whole ceremony and what not, we are not like this at all, what should be how it is.” Liu Jing said, in the usual both caring and not-so-caring tone of a post-80s.
“Basically, we’re not doing the traditional stuff.” The so-called “traditional set” also includes the most important one – buying a house. The marriage was “basically based on love,” as they gave up on the housing issue before marriage because of financial constraints.
Also based on love, again without buying a good home, and again without choosing a wedding date, Liaoning girl Xie Mingming’s (pseudonym) marriage registration seemed bland and even rushed.
They decided decisively to get married on that date for the sake of the house.
The story is that in July last year, Xie Mingming had just joined a state-owned enterprise in Beijing for three or four months when she suddenly heard a “great news” one day: the company had some “commercial to residential” housing on hand and could sell it at a 93% discount to internal staff. The company has some “commercial to residential” housing, can be sold to internal staff at a 93% discount. At that time, Xie Mingming and her boyfriend have been looking at houses for a while, but the location is suitable, too old; new and old suitable, too expensive. When the two people were about to despair of buying a house, the “savior” arrived. And two people want to have this set of their future comfort, they must get married. The two of them were in college together and had been in love for years, so they only called their parents and decided to get a license in October – without her boyfriend formally proposing to her, and at that time, their parents hadn’t even met.
A few months after the license was issued, the guy, who was already a husband, made up a proposal for the girl, Xie Mingming.
“One day I went on a business trip. I came back the next day to find the house a little cleaner than usual, which means he had cleaned up. As soon as I got home, he turned off the lights and the light was dimmer. He held a bouquet of flowers in his hand, as if to say something more touching, he said and moved himself to tears. I am nervous, just stand there, and so are finished, my nose is only a little sour, just ready to enter the role to start crying, he turned the light ‘pop’ on, said: good, go, go out to dinner.”
The romance that I had imagined since I was a kid was simply shattered with a “pop”.
As Zhou said, life is full of “Liu Yiyang” and “Tong Jiaqian” (the hero and heroine of the TV series), who believe in love and are stuck in life.
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The worldly tangle of marrying a “poor boy”
Xu Xiaojia (a pseudonym) married a poor boy. She went to register with her husband on a Wednesday of an odd-numbered day, and it took them five minutes to get their marriage license. The cost was $9.
Xu’s parents weren’t happy with the marriage at first. The company’s main goal was to make the company’s business more efficient. The company’s first two companies are in the United States, but they are in the U.S., where they have been working for more than a decade. The young couple called the hut with a single bed “doghouse”. But Xu Xiaojia felt that when her husband took the initiative to pour a glass of water when she was tired, she was happy. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public.
Soon, Xu Xiaojia will be able to explain to her parents that her husband has ended his “freelance” life and is working responsibly to support the family and prepare for the mortgage.
And Liu Jing married a “poor boy”.
“Our family’s economic base is better than his family, if we have to beg to buy a house, the down payment our family (the group together) can afford, but he does not want to rely on his parents, then as a woman I also do not want to rely on my parents, then first bare, and then slowly save money. After all, we do not want only 50% of the economic conditions to bear 100% of the possibility, so the money is still left to the parents themselves.” Liu Jing analyzed the matter of buying a house in a sensible and reasonable way. But this rationality and understanding can’t stop her parents from distrusting her boyfriend whose family is not well off.
The parents decided to let their daughter go on another blind date.
The parents decided to let their daughter go on another blind date. They carefully selected a boy who was “very good in every way” and wanted Liu Jing to meet him.
“I’m also submissive, so let’s go see him, just as a meal to meet a friend. I believe that I like someone and will not change.” Liu Jing intended to overcome the hardness with softness.
This is a good guy who is a good match for the family, but in Liu Jing’s eyes he is “too chatty” and does not like it.
The poor boyfriend at the time also knew that Liu Jing’s parents had ordered her to go on a blind date, but wasn’t worried.
“According to the more snobbish arguments in society nowadays, we are both particularly immature in this regard. But I personally prefer this state of affairs, more comfortable. The woman lives her whole life, and in order to have a smooth and stable life, so I’m going to marry someone who seems to be excellent in every way at the time? –How do you know what it will be like in 20 or 30 years? Now you go after material things against your will, and later find out that he is philandering or bad-tempered or that you two are simply not suitable, then it is you who will suffer.”
“I am true to myself.” This is Liu Jing’s core principle.
Although occasionally, she will half-jokingly recite to the boy who has become her husband, “Where’s my house and my car?”
Because they don’t yet have their own home, Mr. and Mrs. Liu Jing have moved three times, and the pain of each move has led them to emphasize once and for all the necessity of having their own home. Even when she usually buys things, she thinks twice, “Don’t buy so much, or you’ll be exhausted when you move.”
After the landlord sat on the land and raised the rent by 500 yuan, Liu Jing moved to the one-bedroom apartment they now rent.
“I’m not Little Dragon, I don’t want all the material things, that’s impossible. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market. (This) can not always mention, but you occasionally mention, can motivate him. It makes him feel like he has to work hard or his wife and kids don’t have a house to live in.”
“But on the other hand, it costs too much to buy a house in Beijing, and if I’m on my own, I can’t even afford to sell it. And I’m a little upset that I’m taking out millions of dollars to buy a crappy house, and I don’t think it’s worth it.” But she can’t be bothered to dwell on this somewhat nebulous question: “I’ll consider this (trade-off) when I have the strength to do so one day: do I buy it with all my money, or don’t I?”
The scholar Qiufeng once commented, “China’s high housing prices are destroying the imagination of young people.”
The scholar, Qiu Feng, commented, “China’s high prices are destroying the imagination of young people.” Qiu Feng thinks that the young generation is worried about how to prepare for the purchase of a home in a time when they can “recite poetry, travel with friends, and have book clubs. For this reason, they have to sacrifice their interests, look for a good career, work hard and dare not slacken off. Their life, from the beginning, is materialistic and worldly, and they cannot experience a romantic life, a lifestyle that can be oriented towards the soul.”
Learning to manage happiness
However, in Zhou’s view, although the young generation is to some extent trapped by material things, what really has the potential to defeat their marriages are the “details” of life that no one can avoid, not a particular state of extremity (such as extreme poverty), but “It’s not a particular state of extreme poverty, but “something in a normal life that you still can’t escape.
“For example, you still have to deal with getting along with your mother-in-law, whether you can cross your legs at home, watch TV, sleep in, put on makeup. Your idea of money, your idea of life. All the details combined are likely to defeat love.”
Ming Xie’s married life with her husband only really began when they moved into a rental house.
The original single dormitory in the flat did not allow cooking on an open fire. When the two of them started knocking pots and pans together, they realized that there were problems they hadn’t encountered before.
“He has an easier time than I do at work, and I get irritated and feel it’s unfair if I don’t do much more housework and leave things lying around. (My way of dealing with it is) I also put it away for a while and then clean it up when I’m in a better mood. He generally promised to brush the dishes after you eat, but wait until the next day the third day long hair is still not brushed. I just started to look uncomfortable and went to brush. The company’s main goal is to provide a good solution to the problem.
In fact, the problems that the post-80s encounter in the minutiae of life are no newer than their predecessors, and they are handled in much the same way. If there must be any difference, then the post-80s’ awareness and adaptation to sharing and tolerance in the life of a couple becomes the most pressing issue.
In this case, Xu Xiaojia again seems different from the others. Although everything is simple in the marriage process, she strives to add one more aspect to her marriage – pre-marital counseling. She signed up for one-on-one marriage counseling, and dragged her husband along with her on it. She also bought a bunch of books on gender relations, which her husband didn’t like to read, so she read them and told him about them.
“Because of all this, I have a very clear understanding of the faggotry after marriage. Although (the couple still) fights, I know the right way to handle it. You can’t go to your parents for advice, you have to go to better people – see what friends who have successful marriages are doing. You’ve never been married, so how are you going to know what to do? These are all things to learn.” Xu Xiaojia, a learning talent, has grown fast and benefited her married life with books.
For example, she understands that “men are wafers, women are thin noodles.” The man divides his life area into compartments, and when he is in one of them, he only thinks about that one compartment, and if you ask him about the other one he doesn’t know or doesn’t like to talk to you. The woman, on the other hand, is like a fine noodle, pulling out one and leading to a big pile.
Xu Xiaojia told her husband about this realization gain, and he said yes again and again.
“Sometimes when we argue, he’ll say, I’m in this grid now, don’t you bother me.” The company’s main focus is on the development of a new product, which is a new product for the company.
“When a man is dazed, he is dazed, he is empty, he just wants to take a break, he really doesn’t. The book was not read and I thought there was something wrong with this man, but I didn’t know that millions of men are like this.”
In learning and experiencing, Xu Xiaojia’s post-marital life is less trivial and cruel and more supportive of each other’s warmth and happiness.
Now, although the post-marital lives of these three post-80s couples have stumbled, none of them have gone to the extreme of breaking up like the protagonists of “The Naked Marriage Era”. The couple is still waiting for the welfare house to be completed, and the couple is trying to save money to build a house of their own someday on their own. But none of their plans to have children have set off yet.
This is the best of times, with great material abundance and a wide range of ideals; this is the worst of times, with booming prices and foggy ideals. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies that will be able to meet the needs of their customers. The first time I saw the film, I was able to see it.