Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law grow up in different generations and have different values in life and often show different positions. The most common in-law conflict is the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel by trivial matters, this quarrel to never mind, just suffer from their own men, often quarrel when the most innocent man moved out as a shield and out of the barrel, in short, what the man said is not right, and what they said to their favorite man hurt most deeply.
So what are the most helpless and heartbreaking things that men often say when their in-laws fight?
One of them is that wives can choose again, but mothers cannot.
This is a phrase that a significant number of mothers-in-law are particularly fond of saying. This phrase is quite suspicious of instigation. The subtext is that the wife is not important, the wife can marry again after leaving. Just think, the mother said this sentence, how can the son be embarrassed? Will listen to you, or not listen to you? Perhaps only the kind of man who wants a divorce, just in the name of the mother can “kill” the wife. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
On the surface, this statement makes some sense, but on second thought, it’s a complete asshole. It’s not like your son is marrying a daughter-in-law for you as a mother? The real smart mother should understand that the mother is good, the mother’s love is deep and great, but will eventually be unable to resist the weight of marriage, which is a universal necessity, should be the mother should recognize and expect. The son couple love, in fact, from a certain point of view, is better than a million kinds of filial piety.
Two, it is I who will live with you for the rest of your life, not your mother.
Not coincidentally, there are also many narrow-minded women who like to say this in front of their husbands, “It’s me who will live with you for the rest of your life, not your mother!” The same is true of the “I’m not sure I’m a good person, but I’m a good person. In the previous many articles, as a wife, never try to take their own and husband’s mother compared, there is no comparability, there is no need to compare, if you really want to compare, it is also difficult to compare. The first thing you need to do is to ask yourself, can you really be like his mother, to ensure a lifetime of generosity and unprincipled good to him regardless of gains and losses? 99% of wives can not do. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing.
Thirdly, you are an unfilial son who married his wife and forgot his mother.
A good portion of the mothers who say this are actually over the moon, and they understand in their hearts that their sons will eventually live with someone else when they grow up, which is unstoppable. However, the mothers must still mostly misunderstand their sons, in fact most of the sons are not what they say, married to a wife and forget the mother, the mother is still in the heart, but because of work and their small families and other reasons, with the mother’s time is less and less, with the wife’s time is certainly more than with the mother’s time, which is unconscious inevitable choice, but does not necessarily mean that the real emotional This is an unconscious choice, but it does not necessarily mean that the real emotional bias. This is something that most mothers should see clearly.
Fourth, what’s parental is not necessarily ours, and it only counts if we get our hands on it.
The daughter-in-law is extremely utilitarian when she says this, she is forcing people’s sons to ask their parents for their property and forcing their husbands to take care of the small family and not the big family. This is theoretically and legally correct, but it is emotionally and ethically offensive. And this will most likely only produce a nibbling, unmotivated husband. However, what is puzzling is the tolerance of our society, people seem to have been used to children fighting for their parents’ property, and seem not to be ashamed of it at all, just as today’s society “laughs at the poor but not at the prostitutes” is as sad as it can be!
Fifth, you don’t think of me as a member of your own family.
Daughter-in-law is always someone from another family, which is a virus in most Chinese families. Don’t look at the usual peace and quiet without mentioning it, but as long as there is a little quarrel, this virus will kick in, making the mother-in-law allergic and the daughter-in-law hysterical. In fact, the reason for this is twofold: on the one hand, the daughter-in-law does not consider herself as an in-law, failing to really integrate into the new family, waiting for the “daughter-in-law to become a mother-in-law” and then turn over as master; on the other hand, the mother-in-law is indeed always difficult to treat the new woman as her own family, whether it is based on good intentions or crooked interpretation, and is defensive at every turn. The two of them can never have a good conversation.
Sixth, you choose, with me or without her.
Whenever there is an unbearable fight, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always unconsciously both throw this phrase at the man in the middle: “You choose, with me or without her!” A look of hatred that is not shared. I’m sorry to say that the sky is always blue, this is in the man as a sandwich cake, as if people ask you want to die it or do not want to live it? In short, how to choose is not to live!
Seventh, what do you need me as a wife if you are so in love with mother and son?
This sentence, not wanting to analyze it more, has to go back to the second one. People do not want their wives if they are mother and son? What a brutal statement that lacks logic!
Eight, she’s doing this to you, and she’s showing her original form when you’re not home.
Both mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law like to say this to prove their innocence in order to let the middleman comment and set the right and wrong. But since ancient times, it is difficult for a clear judge to determine family matters. It’s hard not to let a big man, lost all day shift, and then from time to time lurk in the house, listening to you two women how to quarrel? Obviously, this operation is not very feasible. And it’s harmful to improving family relationships; it will undoubtedly only serve to encourage everyone to be more serious.
Nine, your mother is in charge of everything, and I don’t have any freedom in this house.
For this statement, I really think it’s time to think about it as a mother-in-law. The children and grandchildren have their own blessings, with the development of the dynasty, the control of the daughter-in-law has long been not the mother-in-law, but the husband. Young people do things for people and habits, obviously can not be as strict and serious as your previous generation, as a mother-in-law or to be tolerant for the better, to and above. Think about it, you can be so tolerant of your son, why can’t you be more tolerant of her wife? They are people who sleep on the same bed, many things are the same, the daughter-in-law in the mother’s house is also favored by parents, do not have to make life so formal. As long as it’s not a big deal, it’s best to turn a blind eye to it.
Ten, your daughter-in-law doesn’t care about anything and treats me, the old mother, as a babysitter.
In fact, this phenomenon is rather common now. Young people either don’t want to live with their parents, or when they do, they don’t like to do anything and treat their old mothers as nannies. Although the problems here are inextricable, cut and tangled, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have their own difficulties, one is difficult for the mother-in-law to really put down the heart, the second daughter-in-law dare not intervene too much, the third son will be more lazy in the face of the mother, the son did the mother heartache, not to do is the daughter-in-law taught. At this point, as the daughter-in-law is also really a bit difficult. The key to this is the man himself, he has to take the initiative and learn to reconcile the contradictions here.
So, mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, think about your favorite man when you fight, because how many people will be affected by your two momentary conflicts? For the sake of the family, for the sake of the people you love the most, tolerate and live in harmony!