The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has risen to become a major family conflict in the past few years, and the disagreement between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will involve all aspects, which will rise to a marriage war if not careful. As the saying goes, if there is a conflict, find it and solve it, so what are the main aspects of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
First, the antagonism of family values
Mothers-in-law tend to take husband and son as the focus of their lives, while daughters-in-law tend to have a strong sense of autonomy.
Second, differences in money perceptions
Mothers-in-law are generally very frugal and are not used to the idea of their children being frugal.
Mothers-in-law are generally frugal and are not accustomed to their daughters-in-law’s largesse.
Third, the difference in the way children are raised
Daughters-in-law believe that The children must start learning skills at an early age, while the mothers-in-law tend to love more than discipline.
Fourth, the clash of employment attitudes
Mothers-in-law are used to career stability and mediocrity, while daughters-in-law have to catch up along the way because of pressure and competition, and even change jobs frequently. Finally, there is a difference in the way love is conveyed. Daughters-in-law dare to show their love publicly, a method of emotional expression that mothers-in-law are quite uncomfortable with.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is one of the most complex interpersonal relationships in contemporary society in transition. Formally it belongs to a branch of kinship that includes the vertical blood relationship (mother-in-law and son) and the contrasting horizontal husband-wife relationship (daughter-in-law and husband).
The traditional academic view of this issue is:
First , the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an emotional tug-of-war between two women over their husbands and sons, a struggle for affection and love. Explained from the perspective of nurturing, the mother gives up her son, whom she brought up, to another woman to manage, unwillingly and cut off. It is normal to have a sense of loss and resignation when vertical power is given to horizontal power.
Secondly, after a son marries his daughter-in-law, he will not be independent in the full sense of the word, either mentally or financially. The conflict mainly comes from the trivialities of life. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not used to each other, and the more they try to interfere, the stiffer the relationship becomes.
Thirdly, there are financial problems. Inevitably, mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law each have their own petty interests at stake, and there are conflicts. For example, some daughters-in-law want to nibble more, and mothers-in-law will not be able to stand it if they see their hard-earned money being taken to their daughters-in-law to squander.
From an economic perspective, marriage can be seen as a limited liability company, and the daughter-in-law and husband are investors in this company, and the age, financial condition, and energy of both parties are necessary to pay for the marriage and the cost invested into the company.
The “outputs” of the company include physical needs, a sense of stability, security, social valuation, respect, and so on. The maximum output is obtained with minimum input. The woman always wants the man to invest as much of his assets in the company as possible.
According to experts, the most fundamental reason for a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is in the daughter-in-law, there have been a few harsh mothers-in-law in the past, and brutal and capricious daughters-in-law have always been there, to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the daughters-in-law first have to find the reason from themselves, to establish a loss of all The first thing you need to do is to find out the reason from yourself, to establish a loss of all the damage, you should consider the problem from the marital beauty.