We all know very well that genders are different and see things differently – you always think that women are more romantic than men, and many women even spit on their boyfriends for not being romantic enough; you always think that “You always think that women are not interested in casual sex; you always think that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, they are very different …… But this article is to tell you that these “You think” is just what you think!
Men pay more attention to the appearance of the opposite sex
There is some truth to this statement, as many studies have shown that when people are asked what they look for in a mate, men place a higher value on appearance than women do. However, further analysis of these data will reveal that men and women are actually “appearance associations”, but men are slightly more concerned about appearance than women. In one far-reaching study, male and female subjects ranked a range of characteristics of potential partners, and on average, men ranked appearance fourth, while women ranked it sixth, so both sexes are quite focused on their partner’s appearance, but it’s not the most important.
However, these data only show what men and women claim to care about. In reality, what kind of men and women do they choose to date? In a classic interpersonal attraction experiment, college students were randomly paired for dates and found that regardless of gender, the other person’s appearance was a major factor in determining whether they would go out with the other person again.
The experiment showed that both men and women would choose the better-looking partner. Thus, both men and women prefer good looks, while men place only a little more importance on physical appearance than women do. In response to research on choice when dating illustrates that both genders are obsessed with looks.
When it comes to beauty, both men and women are actually members of the “appearance society. It’s just that men put a little more emphasis on appearance than women do.
Men believe more in love at first sight
Considering that most audiences for romance novels and romantic comedies are women, it may be a bit hard to believe. But in reality, men have more romantic feelings about love than women. The RomanticBeliefsScale, a commonly used measure of romanticism, requires people to rate how much they agree with a series of statements, such as “There is only one true love for me” and “If I love someone, I can overcome If I love someone, I can overcome any obstacle to be with them”. The results of the study found that men generally gave higher scores than women. Also, men believe in “love at first sight” more than women do.
Women are more cautious about sex
Many of the early studies on male and female couples support this claim. However, while men in general prefer and are more receptive to casual sex than women, women’s interest in it has been underestimated.
There are two reasons for this. First, it is not in line with current social morality for women to admit to a preference for casual sex, so when people are surveyed about the number of sexual partners, many researchers have speculated that men exaggerate the numbers and women hide them, so that it appears on the surface that men have more sexual partners than they do.
In one study, researchers hooked up participants to a fake polygraph and asked them about their sexual history. Participants who were not hooked up to polygraphs gave results that were more in line with social expectations, namely that men had more sexual partners than women. Yet for those who feared that lying would be instrumentalized, women reported slightly more sexual partners than men instead.
Women must choose to have casual sex only when the time is right, not because they are uninterested, but because they are more selective about their sexual partners. However, whether or not women will accept the invitation depends largely on their subjective perception of men’s sexual skills. The reality also proves that women are willing to spend sex with someone else – as long as that person is worth it.
Men are more violent
When people think of victims of domestic violence, the first thing they think of is women. When people think of domestic violence victims, the first thought is usually associated with women. It is true that female victims of domestic violence are often more severely injured than men, and it is also true that men commit domestic violence more frequently and more severely. However, men are often victims of domestic violence as well. A recent survey of British adults found that 40 percent of domestic violence victims were men. A national survey in the United States found that 12.1 percent of women and 11.3 percent of men reported domestic violence against their partners in the past year. Other studies have shown that women’s odds of using violence are very close to those of men. Because of the stereotype that men are unlikely to be victims of domestic violence and the fear that men will be shamed for being honest, many men choose to hide it or not seek help. However, men are vulnerable to physical abuse, even if the extent of the harm is not as great.
Women are more proactive in communicating when they are in conflict
Most research suggests that there is no significant difference in the way men and women resolve relationship conflicts. However, there is some truth to this statement, because some couples will fall into a vicious cycle of so-called “you say I’m hiding” when solving problems, that is, one party will raise the issue and insist on demanding theories, while the other party will choose to avoid the argument. The more the demanding partner presses, the more the other partner avoids, making the former even more determined to speak up and ultimately making both parties feel bad – and in this case, the demanding partner is usually the woman.
However, even such exceptions are more often the result of a power relationship rather than gender differences. In some studies, couples were asked to discuss an issue in their relationship, sometimes one that the woman wanted to change, and sometimes the opposite. The researchers found that the role of asking or withdrawing did not depend on gender, but on which partner wanted the change. When the topic of discussion was something the woman wanted to change, then she was more likely to be called the demanding party, whereas if the issue was something the man wanted to change, then the roles were switched.
So why are there such consistent gender differences in previous studies? It is due to the fact that the party in a relationship who wants change is usually the weaker party, while the other party prefers to maintain the status quo. For our society, men have traditionally been stronger than women, so women are usually the ones demanding change in a relationship. Of course, this dynamic is changing. But even in cases of power imbalance, women are asking for discussion because they want change, not because they resolve conflicts differently than men do.
Is the difference in how the sexes see things really reliable in a relationship?
The fact that gender differences are “statistically significant” doesn’t mean that the differences are large, but simply that on average, they are reliable. For example, on average, men are taller than women, but there are many men and women who are the same height, and even many women who are taller than men. Most of the personality differences between men and women are much smaller than the height differences between the sexes. In fact, both sexes have very similar needs in romantic relationships; for example, both agree that friendliness, fun personality, and intelligence are the three most important factors in choosing a mate.
The practice of approaching romantic relationships based on gender stereotypes is harmful and unhelpful, and some of these claims are outright wrong and, if somewhat true, overstated. The people we are in relationships with are unique, and these myths are not constructive when it comes to addressing specific issues in relationships.