When a man talks to you, do you respond stiffly? In addition to asking your boyfriend to be gentle and considerate and understanding to you, when he is a little upset, will you coax him back? The two of them have a lot to do with each other, do you want to learn?
In Mrs. Yishu’s famous book “The First Half of My Life”, a full-time housewife, Zijun, was abandoned by her husband in mid-life and was chided by her daughter for being “too unfeminine”. “I don’t see you pampering and whining to your father”. The mother explained resentfully, “I don’t know anything about this, I’m a good woman, and I ask myself to have a golden voice. A good woman doesn’t care about that.”
Look at the reality of Sister Zhiling, who has managed to win the hearts of most men on the planet: a squint in her eyes, a twist in her waist, and a whisper in her voice, and it’s like everything in her life is going smoothly. Many women disdain and despise Sister Chi Ling on the surface, but inside they are still envious and jealous of her ability to get different men.
So, there is hardly a normal man who doesn’t like it when women are pampered, right? Even if he is bent, he should also like to be pampered, because between the girlfriends will also be pouting with each other to shake hands and arms to play the game, right? But have you ever wondered: why is pampering so popular? The “pampering method” is applicable to anyone at any time and place? How to be pampered in order to achieve the “best life” with half the effort? Secret No. 1: Petting is a great way to keep two people close and smoothly avoid conflict
Secret No. 1: Petting is a great way to keep two people close and smoothly avoid conflict
Psychologically speaking, pampering is an expression that belongs to a sense of rhythm that our bodies possess Why do you say “pampered women are the best”? The movie’s feminine Zhou Xun likes Huang Xiaoming for so long people do not know, but the green tea delicate Sui Tong only two glutinous “can I sit here? The movie is a good example of how to eat rabbits. Instantly let him bend into straight and then bowed to call the skirt subject. The plot is exaggerated, but the charm and utility of a woman’s pampering is obvious.
“The person who is constantly pampered will think of all sorts of ways (to be pampered), which may be humorous, playful, sarcastic, flirtatious… …It’s a way for them to avoid conflict.” Yu Lingyan said, “He or she will be a more flexible person, able to compromise, able to give in, and usually capable of avoiding conflict.”
At the same time, this “person with more feminine rhythms will have more feminine qualities” and will be softer. And in an emotional relationship, a soft approach is easier to connect and go deeper. “Powerful way will only make each other self-protection greater, shrink up, but rather difficult to give love.” So when men and women get together, soft pampering is easy to help people get love satisfaction, and when love comes, security is there, and happiness will follow.
Secret #2: There may be men who don’t like you to be pampered
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Counselor Dong Rufeng told us that pampering itself is a kind of being allowed, and usually it has a relatively high demand on the psychological environment. In general, each person has a feeling and judgment about the relationship he or she is in, and pampering behavior occurs when his or her feeling and judgment about the relationship is safe, tolerant, and has a certain intimacy. Just like why children are more pampered? Because they feel safe, cared for, and loved. If a child won’t or rarely pampers their parents, one reason might be the child’s personality, and another reason is that maybe the parents don’t allow it.
People born before the 1980s usually have a common memory in their minds: at home, parents were the ones who almost never showed intimacy and affection in front of their children, and watching TV with their parents showed intimate shots of the family being embarrassed and clueless. “The whole family is on the rational and repressed side, the atmosphere of emotional expression is scarce or even absent, the behavior and events that express emotion are hidden or repressed, not with the conditions of spontaneity.” So it’s no surprise that for many men and women in the post-60s and post-70s, they don’t know how to be spontaneous or don’t like to be spontaneous.
Secret #3: Using sappiness to avoid conflict and rejection growing up is not advisable
Human beings are emotional creatures, and individual thoughts and preferences vary widely, and the “pampering method” does not always work in a soft and gentle way. Although this twisting rhythm of pampering can help avoid and resolve conflicts, some conflicts in a relationship are actually good and are “blessings of make-up” that need to be confronted. So if the squirming rhythm of pampering is too much, it makes us “avoid conflicts that we shouldn’t avoid and instead fail to grow up”.
So the question arises: How do you tell which conflicts in a relationship can be resolved with a little pampering, and which ones need to be confronted? The answer from the experts is: to try. If you avoid a conflict you shouldn’t avoid this time, it’s bound to happen again; if you make a big deal out of a conflict you can obviously resolve with a little pampering, the sacrifice it brings to the relationship will not be worth it. This is a process of trial and error and friction that no one can avoid.
Secret #4: Spoilers should also be mindful of the occasion and the other person’s reaction
“It’s important to pay attention to the occasion when you’re spooning as an adult.” Because spooning is a deep connection between two people, a connection that is deep and open, a very rich expression of emotion, it is less appropriate for rational situations.
Also, how do you grasp the “degree” of spooning “
If you are like some women who think that being pampered is something that good women should not learn, then you are out. The first thing you need to do is to learn how to express your emotions in a proper way, as long as we learn to use it, we can get along better with the next person. The first thing you need to do is to be reasonable, and long live pampering.