You’ve been with him for many years, and you were ready to be his bride, his wife, and the mother of his children long ago, but he’s hesitant to get married. This is why? It’s a good idea to get to know the subtext behind a man’s reluctance to get married.
There is a wave of men who are of marriageable age and have a girlfriend of many years around them, but it’s as if there is an invisible shackle that can’t be opened, he just can’t open his mouth to propose to you. In other words, he is not willing to get married with you. This is why?
Marriage is very different from a relationship, where a relationship is for two people and marriage is for two families, for life. From a man’s point of view, reluctance to get married may have several difficulties he has yet to buy think of a solution.
The first problem: love has nowhere to call home – one is the house problem; the other is the fear that marriage is the grave of love.
For China’s high housing prices, there is a claim that mothers-in-law are pushing up the prices. The authenticity of this statement is open to question, but men can’t afford to buy a house and get married is a real problem. Nowadays, it’s really hard to get married. The fact that you have to spend almost all of your savings to buy a house, carry a heavy burden of mortgage payments, and prepare a large amount of money for marriage is a very high threshold for many young people.
A married friend said that when you take the first step into the hall of marriage, love has disappeared and you have to use realistic interests to go on. Whether it’s a small family of firewood fans or dealing with friends and relatives of the two families behind them, there’s about no escaping the word money. For most families, there is not enough money to spend, and this gives rise to many conflicts that are not fought and not small but cannot be ignored.
This leads to another issue. Most men have such expectations of their wives, and most women want such expectations of themselves or their men, which is to be long-sleeved and eight-sided. As the saying goes, it is difficult for a clean official to get through the family business. This is like asking an ordinary person to pass a test to become a Chinese diplomat in the United States, and to be skilled. Is this possible? Just because I love you, doesn’t mean I have to love your family. So love will be polished by all kinds of realities before and after marriage, and ninety-nine percent of love will fade away in the process of polishing.
Uncertainty about love and marriage makes men hesitant to walk into a marriage, and frankly, insecure.
The second dilemma: unwillingness to be tied down – I love you, but I love myself and my freedom more
The second dilemma: unwillingness to be tied down – I love you, but I love myself and my freedom more
Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and constraints beyond love and sex. There are many spontaneous men who always do not like to encounter trouble and be bound by anything. Marriage for them is a cage, because they will feel married, will be subject to the wife’s discipline. When they are not married, she will approve many things, but when they are married, she will restrict many things, for example, they must come home on time every day, and even chatting with friends in bars is not approved. For these freedom-minded people, married life is not for them.
On top of that, the responsibility of raising children to carry a woman’s life is too great, and he doesn’t want to be tied down and carry that kind of responsibility for the rest of his life, so it’s only logical that he would refuse marriage.
The third problem: the psychological factor, no confidence in marriage – why get married when you will get divorced anyway
The third problem: the psychological factor, no confidence in marriage – why get married when you will get divorced anyway
Because there are so many examples of failed marriages and high divorce rates in our society nowadays, coupled with the high number of third-party intercourse, extramarital affairs and second wives, some unmarried men and women have become psychologically shadowed and lost confidence in marriage, believing that it is better to choose not to get married than to encounter such a painful situation after marriage.
With the development of economic society, it is true that marriage now faces many more temptations than our grandparents and fathers did, and relatively speaking, our marriage is much more fragile. However, for thousands of years, the essence of marriage has not changed. It is two people firmly hand in hand through life. The temptation to face is only the cause of the dissolution of the marriage, the essence is still in the siege of two people. No matter what age, there will be temptation to marriage, to choose, always the one who can accompany you forward. Take a step back, you do not try, how do you know she is not qualified?
The fourth dilemma: When love becomes a habit – figuring out if the other person is really the one you love the most
Not really liking that woman, or although it is liking, it hasn’t risen to the level of love, just liking, or just getting along and living together first. The actual fact is that you can’t get a lot of money from the company.
In men’s minds, some women can only become girlfriends, but not wives. In fact, each man’s mind on the object of marriage has a position, if the girlfriend around him does not reach his heart suitable object, they will find an ideal object in mind before taking the initiative to propose marriage requirements. The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem of the problem.
This is probably the difference between men and women about marriage, women can fight for love and for the one man they love. For men, wife, marriage, partner itself is a positioning, he and you together does not mean you can meet his requirements. Perhaps, you will always be in his eyes just someone who can walk through the road for a while and not for a lifetime.
Maybe society is changing too fast, or maybe the traditions passed down from our fathers are too stubborn, and now we are being pushed to get married at the age of thirty. But many people are not yet aware of the difference between love and marriage, or have not yet figured out how to take responsibility for a home, a woman’s life, the responsibility of a child’s father, they subconsciously avoid walking into marriage. Or they muddle through marriage for the sake of the expectations of their elders, to escape social opinion, and to do what needs to be done when they are old enough to get married.
In any case, most of our marriages now are actually happy and last a lifetime, so there’s no need to be too pessimistic about them. If it is the feeling that you are not ready to take responsibility, to which one can only say that the real maturity lies in the psyche, not the age. If one expects that the passing of the years will lead to maturity, then you may be disappointed.