For the woman who is still single, time seems to pass very quickly, always lamenting the passage of time without realizing it, and has inadvertently become a family of leftover women.
1. She is at the mercy of fate for the reason: “I can’t meet the other half”
Behind the reason: she is right. She didn’t meet the right person. Because she wasn’t willing to take the risk, she told herself she was bound to lose before she walked into battle. She refused to face the danger that feelings might bring. Her rejection of relationships is a blindfold for her lack of confidence.
And, if she is persuaded to start a relationship, she is quick to admit, “I’m a loser no matter what!” What kind of a mother does such a self-depreciating woman have? Does her mother say more frequently that the only way you can find a man is to lose weight, stop cutting your hair, be more feminine, and go to more social gatherings? Or did she start two-thirds of her sentences with “My poor daughter”? In order to get out of the pain of self-contempt, the woman who is at the mercy of fate may move from “I am a loser” to “men are losers”. Well, that’s exactly what Mom always says!
How do you overcome this fear? Start learning about self-confidence and self-worth.
2. As a warrior woman she reasons: “Men are afraid of me.”
Behind the reason: Of course men are afraid of her, because she is strong and confident. No one sees that she has a wounded and crying child inside her. What childhood trauma is she trying to repair as she grows up? What is it that she rebels against? Was it her father, her grandfather, her brother, her boss or her ex-boyfriend? Did she ever see her mother repeatedly humiliated and resolve never to repeat her old mistakes?
Because she rejects the hopes and needs of her emotional life, she has to make herself more independent. She wants to be in charge of her own life, and she believes that no one can live up to her demands. Some might say she thinks highly of herself. But in reality, she has been hovering between low self-esteem and self-importance.
How do you overcome this fear? What is important to understand is that before we can conquer men, we have to become masters of ourselves. To face up to our past.
3. Independent for her reason: “I love my freedom”
Behind the reason: She is busy working, working out, going to exhibitions, going to concerts, meeting her friends, and going on vacation. But she doesn’t have 1 minute to herself. Where in her schedule is there time for a man? In fact, she makes her life so full precisely so that she leaves no room for men to have a place in her life.
Where does this extreme desire for self-control and fear of losing control come from? Most likely, her parents like to dictate orders, always judging what she does, always criticizing, always looking at her with a critical eye. If she couldn’t say “no” to this kind of scrutiny when she was a little girl, then she couldn’t face men when she grew up. So she chose to close herself off and not leave any gaps.
4. Romantic Her Reason: “I’m waiting for the perfect guy”
Behind the Reason: Romantic She hasn’t grown up yet and still thinks she’s a superhero who can get whatever she wants. She may come across as smart, capable and sober in many areas. But when it comes to relationships, she’s “blind”! She is waiting for her Prince Charming at the tip of the ivory tower. Her fears are hidden behind romance and pure love. But her life is a challenge to mediocrity.
Unfortunately, she will keep waiting, because if she doesn’t take that step, no one will walk towards her. Especially if she doesn’t accept the reality that Prince Charming is never a real person, and that people make mistakes, just as she herself does.
How do you overcome this fear? Face it: go to the movies alone or chat on a dating site.
5. Plato’s Her Reason: “I don’t like sex”
Behind the reason: She likes her job, she has a lot of friends around her, and in short, she knows how to manage relationships, provided of course that no sex is involved. It’s not love she’s afraid of, it’s sex. Many women fail to recognize this. In the past, she was able to face this fear in the arms of her partner, no matter what.
Now that celibacy is accepted by everyone, she simply takes this form to avoid sex. As the years go by, her fear of sex deepens. At least the “sexualized” society of today does not allow her to be comfortable with it. In addition, she fears that her inability to enjoy sex traps her in a state of “abnormality”.
How do you overcome this fear? Improve your body’s ability to feel through dance, exercise, and bodywork.
6. The wounded woman’s reason: “I don’t want to go through the pain again”
Behind the reason: she lost a man, she left him or he abandoned her, and she is addicted to the pain of love. She can’t get out of an unreal relationship. Or, she always had a dream man: a father, a brother or a friend. In short, she didn’t know how to overcome it.
As a victim of a past relationship, she can’t take charge of her own life or start a new one. She is trapped within an illusory relationship and rejects new relationships in order to continue living in her illusory world. She is single, but she is not alone in her heart, she just can’t start a new relationship.
How do you overcome this fear? Face up to past failures and acknowledge your share of responsibility in them.
7. The painful her reason for being a mother: My children will never accept my new relationship
Behind the reason: She uses her children as an excuse, when in fact she refuses commitment and is afraid of love. One can find in her the characteristics of a nurse-type woman and a Platonic woman, and being a mother is her excuse to avoid the basic needs of a woman. However, on the day her children become adults and need to leave home, her children may feel a serious sense of guilt.
Because the mother has remained celibate for them, she has given up her own happiness, and this is a sacrifice. Children will have a hard time rebelling against what they perceive as bad love, and may even resort to violence to try to cut the cords that are suffocating them as quickly as possible.
How do you overcome this fear? Fight against good intentions and motherhood, learn to live for yourself so that you know that loving your children means pushing them into life and letting them be independent while you have a life of your own.
8. The nurse type who reasons: “I run into losers in life.”
Behind the reason: The bad part is that what she says is true. Even worse, she believes that the other person will only love her if she is of use. She is often attracted to men with scars, and will try to heal his wounds. But this is a gender relationship based on pain. While she loves the other man, she feels that he loves her too. But the man is a vampire: by the time she gives all she has, he too leaves, leaving her behind.
And she, in turn, would say to herself bitterly, “I did so much for him and he ……” She holds such a view of love, usually influenced by her parents. Her mother must have often said, “I don’t understand why you’re still single! You are perfectly capable of making men happy!” And it has nothing to do with love.