The recent U.S. census established what most people already knew – that divorce rates are indeed on the rise. Faced with the fact that almost half of all marriages end in divorce, many couples are beginning to prepare to reevaluate their relationship with their spouse. But before you sexily begin your evaluation and analysis, it’s important to sort out the following misconceptions and facts about marriage so you don’t fall into the trap of ruining a beautiful marriage.
Myth #1: Married people are less satisfied with their sex lives and have less sex than single people.
According to a large national study, married people generally have more and better sex than unmarried people. Not only do they have sex more often, they enjoy it more, both physically and mentally.
Myth #2: Couples who live together before marriage and are able to gauge their suitability in this way have more satisfying, longer-lasting marriages than those who don’t.
Many studies have shown that those who cohabit before marriage are more likely to have unsatisfying marriages and much higher divorce rates. The reason is that unmarried cohabitants may be more timid and more likely to choose to give up when problems arise.
Myth #3: Having children usually brings couples closer together and increases marital happiness.
Many studies show that the arrival of the first baby in the family usually distances parents and puts a strain on the marriage. However, couples with children have a slightly lower divorce rate than couples without children.
Myth #4: People can no longer stay in just one marriage for the rest of their lives, as they used to, because people are living much longer now than they used to.
There is no basis for the above statement. In fact, the time span of a typical marriage has not changed much in the last 50 years.
Myth #5: Being married is more likely to put women at risk of domestic violence than staying single.
Numerous studies show that unmarried women, especially those who live with men unmarried, are at a fairly high risk of being associated with domestic violence. And married men are reluctant to allow domestic violence to exist because they are more concerned about the health of their wives and more willing to integrate within the extended family and the community at large, and these social forces help constrain men’s violence.
Misconception #6: Cohabitation is really just like marriage, except without the piece of paper.
It’s clear that cohabitation sometimes doesn’t bring the benefits that marriage can bring – physical health, wealth, spiritual pleasure, etc. This is because cohabitants tend to be more focused on their personal interests and personalities and less on each other’s interests.
Myth #7: Because of the higher divorce rate, people who are still under siege are happier than those who are divorced.
Survey results show that instead of increasing, people’s happiness in marriage has slightly decreased. Some studies have even found that existing marriages carry more work stress, more spousal conflict, and less mutual communication than those of 20 or 30 years ago.
Myth #8: Men benefit much more from marriage than women.
Recent research has found that men and women benefit from marriage in comparable ways, although they approach it in different ways. When two people are married, men and women live equally longer, happier, healthier, and wealthier lives.
Misconception #9: The trick to long-term marital happiness is good luck and romantic love.
It’s not luck and love; the most common reasons most couples give for keeping their marriage happy over the long term are commitment and friendship. They define their marriages as hard work of creation, dedication and commitment. The happiest couples are friends who can share their lives and have interests and values that match.