“When a woman is seven years old, her kidneys are strong, her teeth are longer and her hair is longer. The fifth seventh, Yangming pulse decay, the face began to scorch, hair began to fall; the sixth seventh, three Yang pulse decay in the upper, the face are scorched, hair began to white; seventh seventh, Ren pulse deficiency, Taichong pulse decay less, Tiankui exhaustion, the ground is not accessible, so the form is bad and childless. Husband eight years old, the kidney qi real, hair long teeth more; two eight, the kidney qi Sheng, Tianjue to, essence overflow write, Yin and Yang and, therefore, can have children; three eight, the kidney qi average, tendons and bones strong, so the real teeth and long pole; four eight, tendons and bones bloom, muscle full strong; five eight, kidney qi failure, hair fall teeth haggard; six eight, Yang qi failure on the upper, face scorched, hair and temples issued white; seven eight, liver qi failure, tendons can not move, Tianjue exhausted, less essence, kidney collection failure, the form is bad and all extreme The body is extremely weak; eighty-eight, then the teeth and hair go. The kidney is the main water, by the five Tibetan six essence and hide it, so the five Tibetan Sheng, is able to write. Now the five Tibet are declining, the tendons and bones fall, the sky is exhausted. The reason is that the hair is white at the temples, the body is heavy, the walk is not correct, and there is no son ear”, “…… male is only exhausted eighty-eight, female is only exhausted seventy-seven, and the essence of heaven and earth are exhausted.”
From the above, it can be seen that the woman is 21 years old, the man is 24 years old, the development of maturity, the day sebum (endocrine) vigorous and full, is the young and most dynamic period, this is the best fertility period, the difference between men and women 3 years, the beginning of the best age of marriage. To the woman seven seven 49 years of age Tianjue exhausted, men eight eight 64 years of age Tianjue exhausted, men and women at this time when the loss of fertility, the fertility period of 28 years for women, 40 years for men, a difference of 12 years, according to the best matching ratio should be 12 ÷ 2 = 6, that is, men three eight 24 years old ten 6 years equal to 30 years old. It also means that the woman is 21 years old and the man is 30 years old, which is the best age for marriage, with a marriage age difference of 9 years.
The Analects of Confucius has a man “thirty and standing” saying that the man should be standing at this time in the world, so this is the best time to start a family. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
Therefore, the best age difference between male and female marriage is between 3 and 9 years, and the closer to 9 the more harmonious it can be, so the more beautiful and happy the marriage will be. Nowadays, men are 4-8 years older than women seem to be able to make many people calmly accept, but the age gap of more than 10 years, will still be criticized. But in the opinion of many scholars here and abroad, these types of marriages are very happy and more solid.
A recent survey done by European scientists shows that age is a key weight in the stability of marriages. Dr. Emanuel Flanier of the University of Bath, England, conducted a follow-up survey of 1,534 couples, and the results showed that the best couple model that can strongly sustain a marriage is one in which both men and women are highly educated and have no history of divorce, while the man is more than five years older than the woman. The researchers say that wives who are more than 5 years younger than their husbands are the least likely age combination to cause conflict, and their divorce rate is 1/6th that of other marriages.
Also, a University of Vienna study found that husbands who were 4-6 years older than their wives had the most children. A study by the University of Vienna found that the most children were born when the husband was 4-6 years older than the wife, while the husband who was 15 years older than the wife had a smaller number of children, but the most successful marriage.
In this regard, Wang Guorong, a senior supervisor at Ringier Psychological Counseling Institute in Suzhou and a well-known marriage therapist in China, agreed. Wang Guorong said that the three main happiness points of such marriages become the pillars of a solid family. The first point of happiness, to meet the “trinity” of women’s wishes. Usually, women dream of a prince charming who has the maturity of a father, the care of an older brother and the energy of a friend. The husband is older, more psychologically mature, and more comfortable giving affection. The second point of happiness, older husbands usually have a certain economic base, reducing the chances of disputes over finances. The third point of happiness, less family competition. The second point of happiness is that older husbands usually have a certain financial base, reducing the competition for power between spouses, and friction is then reduced.
If it comes to the disadvantages of this type of marriage, Zheng Xifu, a professor of psychology at South China Normal University, believes that, in general, the average life expectancy of men is already shorter than that of women, and if the husband is much older than the wife, then it is possible that the husband will end up dying and the wife will be left alone. The average life expectancy of men is shorter than that of women.
Women are happy even if they are big and men are small
As the saying goes “A woman’s daughter is a golden brick”, and in ancient times in China, there were often big daughters-in-law and small husbands. Nowadays, sister-brother relationships are still an indispensable sight on the marriage map.
Wang Guorong said that some families with sister-brother relationships are actually very happy, as some men are young but have a mature psychological age, while their wives are older but still have the psychological age of a young girl. Such a family is psychologically similar to the model of a family where the man is older and the woman is younger.
Other sibling families are those in which the husbands all have similar temperamental traits, i.e., the men are less independent and want to continue to find the feeling of being pampered by their mothers. For such families, there are often a number of drawbacks. First, both physically and psychologically, women age faster while men are still in their prime, which tends to make families unstable. Secondly, age has social significance, in the conventional social evaluation, sister-brother relationship is easy to make people uncomfortable and criticism, or derogatory male “unmanly”, or say that women “old cow eat young grass” and so on, these external remarks to a certain extent will also be on the family
Men and women communicate well at the same age
President Barack Obama, 49, and his wife, Michelle, are the same age. Obama and his wife Michelle are three years apart in age, and their 17 years of happy marriage is enough to classify them as an “ideal couple”. The Chinese University of Hong Kong’s Department of Social Sciences associate professor Yue Xiaodong believes that same-age love, not the same age in the narrow sense we understand, but the two sides of the age is more or less the same, basically belong to the same generation. Wang Guorong pointed out that men and women of the same age are men and women of the same age or men are older than women by less than three years. Suffice it to say, in the modern mind, this mode of marriage is undoubtedly the most desirable.
Yue suggests that same-age relationships are based on the mental and physical coherence of both lovers, and that such marriages are the most sustainable, with six major benefits. First, it is easy to build intimate relationships. The second is frequent interaction. Three is synchronized growth. Fourth, the same needs. Five is the support of family and friends. Sixth is equal confidence. In short, with similar social experiences between same-age lovers, it is often easy to be of one mind when encountering life problems, and the long-term bonding will even make both parties think in parallel and have a common cognitive pattern.
“While there are many advantages to having men and women of the same age, there are also some problems that arise precisely because of equality.” Wang said it is easy for same-age couples to compete for power because they talk too much about equality, and may often fight over “who gets to say what.
The more similar the personalities, the more loving they are
“All three of these marriage models have advantages and disadvantages. Age does play an important role in marriage, but it is not age that really determines whether a marriage is stable or not.” Wang Guorong said. First of all, the English word “LOVE” is compressed from a Latin phrase that says “love is an abiding concern for the life of another. Wang Guorong pointed out that this speaks the true meaning of the love of the couple, that is, only love the partner itself, rather than focusing on external conditions, which we often say that “height is not a problem, age is not a problem, looks are not a problem. The less external conditions are required, the stronger the love.
Second, research shows that the more similar the personalities, the stronger the love. Wang said that what people often refer to as complementarity between couples is that they want what they have but don’t have and their spouse has it, which is a form of appreciation, not the opposite of their personalities.
Finally, it is important to have sameness. One, when you get married, you have to have the idea of being one with each other; two, the education level and life values should be comparable. These are the intrinsic factors that determine whether a marriage is stable or not.