Socrates, the great philosopher of ancient Greece, preferred to hide under a tree in Athens to think about philosophy in order to avoid his grumpy, accusatory wife; Tulip, though an honored queen, was a husband, Napoleon III, who often went out at night to date a beautiful, non-nagging lady in order to avoid her.
Even a queen cannot keep the delicate flower of love, and it is not only a man’s self-esteem and self-confidence that are hurt by saying things that should not be said, but also his fidelity to his marriage.
With the element of war lurking everywhere in the siege, a careless couple can start a fight, and it is a sign of tolerance and confidence if one partner keeps a calm silence when the other is agitated. It really is a virtue to keep your mouth shut when you shouldn’t talk.
Keeping your husband’s secrets
A psychologist once said, “The single most important thing a wife can do is to let her husband, who can’t vent his frustrations at the office, confide in her.”
If a husband is reluctant to talk to his wife, there are usually two reasons: One, many men think it’s a loss of dignity to let their wives worry about their career failures. The first reason is that the man wants to share something with his wife, but the wife is not willing to listen, or will go around preaching what her husband said.
Agent Park once expressed his displeasure with his wife at home about an employee at his company, but within a few days, the story was all over his company. He said with regret, “I should have understood long ago how difficult it is to keep a woman a secret!”
It only takes a few times like this, or even once, for something like this to happen, and the husband will definitely not talk to his wife about things. Not being able to keep your husband’s secrets is personally destroying your husband’s trust in you, and you can even lose the stability of your family that comes from that trust.
Shut up when it’s time to be silent
The Harleys were fishing on the river, with Mrs. Harry chattering away. Soon, a fish was hooked. Mrs. Harry said, “That’s a sad fish!” Mr. Harry said, “Yeah! If only it would shut up, wouldn’t it be all right!”
While Masazai and his wife were shopping they saw their former neighbor walking by with his wife too, and the two women ended up talking endlessly in the street, and the two men had to wait around.
When he got home, Jung-jae complained, which led to a series of accusations from his wife. At first, Jung-jae defended himself, but soon realized that if he didn’t keep quiet, his wife would be unforgiving. He even made up his mind that he would never argue with his wife again, because he couldn’t argue with her anyway.
I can imagine what the relationship will be like if this goes on.
Maintaining silence at the right time is a must for women.
When beauty reaches a certain point, it must be matched by silence.
I think it’s a good idea to have a good look.
Do not ask about the past
Wife: “Tell me about your first love!”
Husband: “Isn’t that you!”
Wife: “Isn’t it the class girl in the class next door!”
Husband: “It’s not!”
Wife: “Is she pretty or am I pretty?”
Husband: “You.”
Wife: “I don’t believe it. You’re just being perfunctory! She’s not pretty and you can still have pictures of their class?” ……
As you can guess, the couple’s final conversation must have ended with the wife’s complaint. The married man is reluctant to talk about his former lover, and the wife, if she is wise, should grasp the present instead of chasing after the past.
Mature people do not ask about the past, wise people do not ask about the present, and open-minded people do not ask about the future.
The people who are in love should trust and not be suspicious, and should be tolerant and not demanding.
Since I love you, I should give you a relaxed environment to enjoy my love. Since I love you, I should keep a copy of the past for you, keep a dignity, and love along with your secrets.
It is useless to ask about the past. If you think you need to tell me, you will tell me yourself. If you don’t want to tell me, you won’t answer even if I ask you, and you may even lie to me. Put your secrets in the wind, not in your heart, and feel at ease with each other.
Do not ask if you love
A friend of my husband said, “At first, when my wife asked me if I loved her, I told her with tenderness that I did, and then more often, the answer felt perfunctory to me, and I really felt annoyed in my heart, but I couldn’t be anxious with my wife, it felt like The routine.”
The romance in a woman’s heart is often a nightmare in a man’s mouth. If there is no “I love you!” Women are on tenterhooks.
And men, who have been raised to be masculine, have a deep-rooted belief: “It’s very ‘I love you! It’s very ‘girly’ to hang on to your mouth!” So they would rather express their love in other ways. Men think that working hard and making money to support the family is the best proof of love.
Women like sweet talk, but if they want a perfunctory answer, chase their husbands every day to ask if they are in love. I used to chase this question too, but now I’ve learned to feel it with my heart.
Not to poke at his little tricks
Zheng Lanzhen’s husband often tells her jokes, and no matter how many times she’s heard them, Lanzhen always laughs and trembles. I asked her, “How can you still laugh so much after hearing it so many times? The first time I heard that, I said, “He did it to make me happy!”
Yes, men are always making little tricks, maybe for the romance of love, maybe to win the heart of the lover, maybe to brag to satisfy the self-esteem, this time women do not poke holes, as long as the lover is happy, easy to play silly to him and what is difficult.
Suddenly I remembered my birthday that year, in fact, my best friend told me early that you were preparing a birthday surprise for me, and even told me the details, but I pretended not to know. The first time I saw a woman, I was very disappointed.
You came back before the end of the day and brought me a huge cake, and you couldn’t help but laugh at my shock, and I was laughing too, but I’ll never tell you why.
No long-windedness
There’s a story from the past in Europe.
A harmonious village, which had been a family for centuries, suddenly had endless trouble with its neighbors, and the villagers, who used to say “good morning” sincerely when they met, were now angry with each other. The newest addition to the list is the newest addition to the list.
It turns out that the wife of a patrolman who had recently moved to the village was a long-winded woman with a penchant for sowing discord, and all the evil came from her irresponsible whispers. The villagers knew they had been fooled and stopped paying attention to this woman. She soon moved away, but the harmony among the villagers was never repaired.
Everyone rarely interacts with each other, and at night, they close their doors early and ignore each other. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies, and to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies. Even if you can’t stop others from saying it, you can forget about hearing it, and you can’t go back to saying it to others yourself, because the tongue, is the most poisonous in the world.
No excessive accusations when arguing
I once read a story about two people who had known each other for a long time getting married, and the wife was a little bit grumpy, and every little thing, could be a reason to argue. The garbage is not emptied, the door slammed into the wall when opening it, and the dinner made a noise …… because they know each other so well that the wife has no qualms about accusing her husband during the argument. A year has passed and no change has occurred in her family’s life. Only the couple ate together less and less often, they no longer argued and no longer spoke. It was like a train that had forked the tracks, running further and further away.
“I’m unlucky to be married to you, you’re always so unproductive!”
“You never think about my feelings, you only think about yourself.” “How can my life be so miserable, marrying you, a fool.” …… This is all often said by wives. According to John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the book 7 Rules for a Beautiful Marriage, “Contempt hastens the collapse of a marriage.” When a wife psychologically despises her husband and says hurtful things about him without regard for his feelings, love is coming to an end.
Never reveal your feelings to each other
Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and author of “Love Between Equals: How to Really Make Marriage Equal,” points out that using the words “always” or “never” is a good idea. With words like “always” or “never,” your husband “is not likely to have a normal conversation with you at this moment.
I once heard about a husband in Gyeongsangbuk-do who didn’t say a word to his wife for 12 years after an argument with her because she called him a “garbage man. His wife’s words hurt his self-esteem. The wife regretted the remark, thinking that it was not a big argument, and if she had been calmer, she would not have said that.
Dr. Herward Markman, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and author of Fighting for Marriage: Rules to Avoid Divorce and Make Love Last, believes that “usually the biggest complaint wives have about their husbands is that they don’t say anything to you at all; and the most consistent thing husbands say is that talking too much causes arguments. ”
So he suggests, “If you want your husband to not only listen to you but to communicate with you more, always be at peace.”
Never say divorce
Many couples say out loud during a fight, “This life can’t go on anymore, divorce!” In fact, the vast majority of people who say this do not want to get divorced, but are just angry words. The majority of people don’t want to get divorced, they just want to get divorced, but unfortunately, some people make confused decisions after they say this confused word in their anger, and they really do get divorced in their anger, and they regret it only after the divorce.
I know a couple who, when they first got married, the wife would yell for divorce whenever she was discontented, and the husband would immediately run over and admit his mistake, so the wife said divorce more and more often, but in fact she just wanted her husband to keep his head down, and didn’t really want a divorce in her heart.
After a few years, the wife mentioned the word divorce again during a big fuss, who knew that the husband stood up and said, “Then let’s leave, I’m too tired.” The wife was dumbfounded. Do not underestimate these two words, it can hurt people for life. It is not only the husband and wife who are hurt, but also their children. Marriage should be maintained with love and cared for with affection. If there are no conflicts in family life that must be sacrificed for marriage, don’t say divorce.