A man feels that a woman’s heart is a needle in the bottom of the sea, I don’t know how to think about it, well come back to emotions. The woman feels that the man encountered things just do not speak out, which is not another escape? The protest was made, he still ignored it. The woman’s voice is not the same as the man’s, but the woman’s.
Under the streetlight, on the locomotive, he reads silently with a heavy heart, wondering how she can’t listen to such a simple thing; closing the iron gate, putting down her bag, she stands dumbly on the other side of the gate, wondering why he has to make a fuss about such a small thing.
This is the third time in a month that we’ve fought about the same thing. I guess no one wants to keep arguing all the time and then go home separately. And then what? There is no guarantee that the fight will continue or that they will finally separate. This is tiring and annoying.
“It’s just a small thing, and she has to argue with me so many times for so many days. Sometimes it really feels annoying how she can’t speak or understand!” This is a male complaint.
“How come he can’t do what I say? I expressed what I meant.” This is female anger.
It actually has to do with the fact that men and women approach relationships differently. Women care a lot about details like whether there was a timely response, holiday anniversaries celebrated, flowers sent, etc. Even a sock littering the house will have her chattering. This is to make life better, so care about these details of the little things. And women are convinced that details are a truer reflection of how a person really feels and how they approach things.
For men, the chicken scratch is not worth mentioning. Valentine’s Day foolishly waving bills to a Western restaurant just to eat a piece of steak sold in the supermarket for tens of dollars, it is better to eat a set meal in a teahouse for more than ten dollars. Making money is very tired, just for so Valentine’s Day three words cost hundreds of dollars, worth it? I really do not understand what women are thinking. There are many other little things like this, and if he says no, the woman is in a mood again. Many times do as they are told not because they agree, but just to avoid trouble.
This situation can’t be said to be the fault of either party, it’s just that each doesn’t understand what the other wants to say. For men, the willingness to put up with doing something they don’t like or agree with is an attitude in itself. For women, if they don’t love you and want to live better with each other, why be so picky? It’s not like misplacing your socks is going to kill you, it’s just going to make the house very messy unlike a home.
Many times, it’s not the behavior a woman cares about, it’s the attitude, even if she sometimes presumes you have the wrong attitude. Living in one another’s emotions, not seeing that each is working on the relationship in different ways, and not hearing what the other is really trying to say. Worse, after being overwhelmed by emotions, conflicts, sulking and depression, we gradually fail to feel each other’s heart, even though he may have been there for you. He is still willing to argue with you, not talking and listening silently without turning away, indicating that he still cares about you, only not knowing how to deal with each other’s emotions. After all, the most hopeless thing in a relationship is not arguing, but indifference.
So let’s avoid our feelings for each other going from arguing to indifference to out of sight out of mind. When arguing, think about controlling your emotions and not to export hurtful words. It is better to improve each other’s relationship. You know, even normal arguments, if more often, will slowly wear away the original feelings.
There are three common myths that plague us in love, now let’s analyze if this emanation is what we think it is, or if there is something more to it.
Myth #1: A person’s mindset depends on the environment
“That’s how he is, he doesn’t know how to think for people. He’s very talented, just a little bit self-centered because his parents spoiled him too much when he was a kid, and it’s about as hard to change now ……”
The real principle is: take responsibility for No one is really limited by anything. All limitations are only temporary, and a large part of all reluctance, inability, helplessness, and abandonment is interspersed with your willingness to give up your choices, not to be irresponsible, but to take the opportunity to change After giving up the opportunity to change, you still have to bear the consequences. The real situation is that circumstances do influence people, but it is you who makes the final decision.
Myth #2: People can’t change
“You have to realize that people have lived to this age and many of their personality habits and attitudes have taken shape, and you think you’ve only been involved in her life for a few years, how much more can you change her?”
The real principle is: attitude influences action
Here I’ll make some corrections, Chapman says it very simply in his book Simply, use your attitude to influence the other person’s attitude. But, to paraphrase what Heine said in his Hong Kong speech, “It’sdifficult, butpossible!”
Sometimes we find certain things very intolerable because of a mindset that things are very intolerable because of a mindset. In a way, it is an attitude towards the matter. If you reflexively resent the thing or the person, then you are less willing to accept it even if it is a favorable aspect for you. That’s the attitude.
Action may not be immediate, but the attitude changes, both in terms of a change in your own perception and a willingness to work to change the situation. The heart and mind are brought closer together when there is a willingness to work on each other.
Myth #3: When you’re in a bad relationship, you only have two choices, put up with it or leave
Myth #3: When you’re in a bad relationship, you only have two choices, put up with it or leave
When you try to change the other person, it is often in vain, so you often choose not to express it or leave. Here, you are ignoring the fact that people are free, and the changes that are required of the other person in order to maintain the relationship are many times seen as a form of domination by the other person.
The true principle is: I can’t change him, but I can influence him; I can’t dominate her, but I can make her value my needs
Just be prepared that most of the impact is slow and the change may still be repeated, but of course there are some quick dramatic changes, but they require risk-taking and the right timing.
If the change he’s asking you to make, or the change you’re making is because “you want to be like that,” you want to be better, not just for him, then it’s time for you to get off the It’s time to get off the computer desk, get up and move on with the relationship, get on the phone and tell him, “I think about you and I love you.
Expressing love clearly is a very useful way to be in a relationship, and it’s also important to think about it in a calm and different way. Don’t stress about how much you’ve been wronged or how you have to follow. Listening and communication are the constant principles of getting along between people. When that person is the one you want to work with for the rest of your life, why not give more tolerance?