In love, do you have a plan? Many people would say that having a plan makes life better. Yes, and no. It is true that some things can be more successful after planning, but this does not apply when it comes to people. In love, unplanned and unscripted love doesn’t have to be bad, it might be better.
Often in love, you make the mistake of rehearsing the future and not following the script. When it doesn’t go your way, you start sulking, confusing the other person and indirectly destroying the relationship between the two.
This can be seen in both men and women, but is more evident in women. Many women blame their boyfriends one after another for not doing what they wanted or said they would do. The man then starts to argue, the woman retorts, and the conflict escalates again.
Sometimes, we need to think, is this necessary? Are things really that bad outside of expectations? There is a risk that things beyond expectations will turn out to be both good and bad. According to statistics and probability, very good and very bad are in the minority, and most cases are likely to be slightly better or slightly worse than expected, and still within acceptable limits overall. In other words, only a very, very small number of things beyond expectations will become unacceptable to us. Is it worth it to fall out with your boyfriend and hurt their relationship just because it’s not what you expected when it’s unknown?
No rules, and no planning is possible. With the original plan, expectation is bound to be an emotion, but please don’t preview the drama first, feel the pain and sweetness of one step at a time, and only when you look back will you see the down-to-earth traces of that walk without regret.
Think about it another way. Since things happened outside of your plan, maybe it was God’s will for you to experience what it was like to be outside of the plan. Why not start enjoying the journey into the unknown for a bit? Two people renegotiating on top of the original plan might allow you to uncover different interesting points and see omissions in the previous plan.
There’s a story like this. Xiao Wen had a friend Brain when he was a student, but they didn’t get together. One day, Brain just happened to be at school, so after work, Xiao Wen stopped by to find him for dinner, and ate and began to ask him a bit hysterically about his feelings, but the atmosphere became awkward at the end, so Xiao Wen proposed, “Want to go for a walk?” To solve this dilemma, the two people walked leisurely to the playground. Halfway through the walk he suddenly said to Xiaowen: “You must have something buried in your heart! Before walking to the pavilion to say it!” The two of them were in the middle of the playground.
When we did get to the gazebo, he confidently sat up with his hands on the railing and encouraged me to speak from the heart to be more comfortable. The first time I saw this, I was able to get to the bottom of it.
Brian looked at Xiao Wen and said with a smile, “I already knew what you were going to say, go ahead, I’m okay with it.” Xiao Wen slowly spit out these words, but the response that came to meet him was: “I appreciate your kindness to me, but I only have feelings for you as a friend, there is absolutely no lovers like the ingredients, I think it is better for each other to say clearly first.” The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
After the failed confession, the sadness overflowed like the rising tide of the sea, drowning Xiao Wen’s smile and sanity. Then the relationship between the two took a sharp turn for the worse, constantly quarreling, when I said in a fit of anger, “You’re really bad, I want to stop seeing each other for a while!” He suddenly said, “Don’t you think you’re too easy to categorize things? Why do I have to follow your script, and I’m the bad guy if I don’t follow your script?”
At the moment of hearing this, Xiao Wen suddenly had an epiphany, and the crux of the problem was himself. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
What can you see through this story? Yes, it’s that love doesn’t have a script, and that life beyond expectations may be better than you think.
The mistake Xiao Wen made is one that many women make. You may think it’s no big deal, but don’t you think this kind of thinking brings a lot of friction to the relationship between two people? After letting go, maybe you will feel that things are not as bad as you thought, and may be better too. It’s just that you’re not willing to shift your perspective on things.
Love many times doesn’t go well according to our script because we are not the scriptwriters, God is. When we hold on to too many expectations, or fantasies, it only makes us more embarrassed and lost when we get there.
It’s a shame that people love nothing more than fantasy, both for the money and to make themselves happy and escape the harsh challenges of reality. Because the vast majority of people’s plans are not based on actual feet on the ground, but from the height they want to reach. There is nothing wrong with this, the only flaw is about the unclear path between walking from the present moment to the heights you want to reach. This gives yourself the illusion that this is attainable. In reality, not necessarily.
This is true of love, and how is it not true of life? The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem, and to help the company to achieve this goal.
Of course it’s good to have expectations, and there’s nothing wrong with being optimistic about the future, there’s positive power to move forward; however, sometimes too much bubble fantasy about the future just creates pressure on yourself and the other side, and in the end it’s you who suffers the most.
There is no set script to follow in life. The first thing you need to do is to take one step at a time and experience the sweetness and bitterness of the moment, and only when you look back will you say, “Ah! So I’ve come this far!” In this way, isn’t that a big surprise waiting for you?