I am a girl who has not long entered secondary school, and I have two sisters in my family, my sister is a very quiet and obedient good girl, and I am the opposite of my sister, I have been very active and wild like a boy since I was a child. I especially like to play with the children in the neighborhood, before junior high school, I have been the head of the children in the building where I live. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies that will be able to provide the best possible service to their customers.
After starting junior high school, my mother suddenly became determined to keep me under control. When she saw me playing with those little carrot heads, she shouted at me to come home, and then, with an unkind face, she said to me: “Ying Ying, how many times have I told you that girls should be more stable? The first thing you should do is to learn from your sister, even if it’s 10% of what she did.”
Mom’s theory is that I’ve grown up, and if I’m allowed to go on like this, if I’m allowed to go crazy with those little carrot heads, I’ll become a “man-child” sooner or later. Even my father, who has always spoiled me, has sided with my mother, helping to say that “girls should behave like girls”. I was not convinced and asked them, “What is a girl’s style?” Dad said, “A girl should be more gentle and quiet.” I retorted, “Who says that girls should be more gentle and quiet? Who says girls can’t be active? I was born to be active, and I have to learn to look like Lin Daiyu, which is called pretentious and has lost itself.”
I was so sharp-tongued that my mom and dad couldn’t talk me out of it, so they brought out their parental majesty to pressure me. The company’s main goal was to get the company to do the same thing. However, back to school, it is my world again, they can not control me. I was again assured that I could play with my hands and feet. Perhaps it is because of my personality, I play well with male students, and consider myself as those male students “buddy”, so I play with them, I do not feel restrained. This made many female students envious of me, envious of me and male classmates to mingle. The first thing I did was to get to know the people I was with.
I went to junior college, but my temperament remained the same, and I still hung out with the boys. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. You have to learn to protect yourself.” I was confused by my sister’s words, I did not understand, I am a girl, they are boys, different gender, I am beautiful they will not be jealous of me ah. Besides, boys are not as cautious as girls, and their jealousy is not as strong as girls, so what would I suffer? So, I didn’t take my sister’s words to heart.
After lights out at night, the girls in the dorm room love to talk about their classmates. The first thing I did was to get to know the people who were in the room. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. If you do gender reassignment surgery, you will definitely be a handsome man, able to charm a company of girls. They love how to look at me can, I do not think, as long as they live happy on the line. The day one of my “buddies” actually blushed and confessed to me that he had liked me for a long time and asked if I could be his girlfriend, I realized that I could no longer play casually with my male classmates like this. My mom and dad were right, after all, I had grown up, and the truth that “men and women are different” was a constant. I don’t want to be called a “tomboy” anymore, which is a bit unpleasant for a big girl.
I was determined to reshape my image. I did a 180-degree turn – I wanted to move from “tomboy” to “lady”. I didn’t just say that, but I set out detailed steps to do so. First, change the image. I changed the year-round jeans and sneakers, replaced with a ladylike pleated skirt and small leather shoes; I changed the loud and atmospheric habits of speech to a whisper; I began to grow long hair, I want to let the hair softly draped over the shoulders. But it is not easy to change something that forms a habit. Although, I wore a skirt, but the kind of boy’s big steps, and, I am used to wearing light and comfortable sneakers, only half a day wearing leather shoes, both feet will wear a few big blisters. Also, every time before speaking, I have to remind myself to brew a gentle tone first, making the mood especially nervous, the tone is softened, but I always feel uncomfortable listening to myself, a strange voice. Sitting on the sofa, a inattentive, two legs will forget to put together again. In short, this period of time to live inappropriate, male unlike male, female unlike female, so uncomfortable ah. My mom and dad noticed the change in me and were happy that I was getting the hang of it. I had a preview of my new image in my dorm room, and several girls in my dorm room said my new image was beautiful. The next day, I slipped into the classroom as if I were a thief, but the gang of “buddies” were sharp-eyed and spotted me with a new face at once, but they all looked dumbfounded for a few seconds before shouting in unison, “The demon girl has come down to earth.
From then on, I didn’t get involved with the boys at recess and talked to them, and despite the itchy soles of my feet, I held back and stayed in my seat. I didn’t go to basketball games when my male classmates asked me to, and I refused to go on field trips when they invited me. I began to focus my friendships on girls, and even those careful-eyed girls I used to disdain became the ones I developed friendships with.
To be honest, my “rebranding plan” didn’t work well, probably because my change of heart was so sudden that everyone took a wait-and-see attitude. I was very enthusiastic about my female classmates, but their response was mediocre, and I never got a female friend. I’ve never had a female friend, and my “buddies” don’t really want to hang out with me anymore, and even when I do, it’s a weird atmosphere.
I started to miss my “buddies” because I felt lonely among the girls. The first thing I did was to get to know my friends, but I don’t know who started it, but they all wrote me letters expressing their love and affection, which made me so nervous to see them that I didn’t know what to say. A male student named Jun, because of my rejection, actually gambled and ran to the barber store to shave a bald head, I had to go to him to comfort him, but he said that the pain of lost love is not removed, he will not grow hair, I was a big surprise. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
Later, even boys from inside and outside the school that I didn’t know wrote to me, and every day, when the life committee sent out letters, I always had the most letters. The first thing I want to do is to get a good idea of how to deal with these boys. I don’t want to get involved in relationships yet, because I am still young. I just want to be a good teacher after I graduate. I don’t understand those boys, how can I refuse to let them die?
On the one hand, I am bored by those male students, and on the other hand, I am also hostile by female students. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do. I really don’t understand: what did I do wrong? The first thing I did was to get to know the people in the room.
I didn’t know how to get out of my current situation, so I decided to return to my old self – I went back to my old “tomboy” outfit. “The first thing I did was to go back to my old self, and my friends said I was still cute as a “tomboy”. But I don’t dare to play with boys like I used to, because most of my “buddies” have written to me, and I feel uneasy and a little squirmy when I face them.
I should have known better than to do the “reinvention project” in the first place.
Doctor’s comment: It’s interesting to note that in life, both men and women usually talk about women in terms of how pretty they are, while in contrast, men are most often talked about in terms of how tall they are. The psychological roots of this phenomenon are related to human sexual selection.
Why are beautiful women popular with men? There are two distinct characteristics of living things: metabolism and self-reproduction, and humans are no exception. For individual humans, the sexual drive to fall in love and get married is the need for sex, and the fundamental purpose of the need for sex is to pass on one’s genes from one generation to the next. What kind of object to choose to ensure that one’s genes can be reliably passed on is a question that each individual creature must consider. In the course of long evolution, humans have learned that the basic external criteria for selecting an object are characteristics such as beauty, symmetry between the top and bottom of the left and right, tallness, proportionality, and shiny skin and hair. These characteristics indicate that the individual is normally developed, well-nourished, and free of genetic diseases, i.e., healthy and genetically normal; individuals in contrast may be in a diseased state or carry defective genes. For organisms, combining with a healthy heterosexual produces offspring that are more likely to be physically robust, have a relatively greater chance of survival, and have a higher likelihood of continuing to pass genes down the line.
It is this that leads men to favor beautiful women, and beautiful women will have a higher number of suitors. Men instinctively know that choosing such women is good for their offspring. For women, taller men are generally easier to get their attention, and taller, more handsome looking men are more popular with women. The difference in selection criteria between men and women is related to the division of labor between the sexes. Generally speaking, men are the main source of family income, and in a traditional sense, size is related to strength, size of the territory and the amount of food, while women are only responsible for child rearing and family life arrangements. So the height of the male becomes an important condition for female selection.
Besides appearance, there are other factors that affect relationships. At the first encounter between a man and a woman, appearance is the primary factor in mutual attraction, but as the relationship deepens, the importance of appearance factors decreases and the importance of other factors gradually becomes apparent. Abilities, strengths, personalities, and similar or complementary traits all influence the desire and behavior of people to continue to interact with each other.
Ying is both right and not entirely right to believe that her appearance is a key factor in attracting the opposite sex and to have all sorts of troubles as a result. In fact, another important factor that makes her boys worth pursuing is her lively and cheerful personality. Because of her personality, she likes to get along with boys and talks to them about everything, mingles with them and has no sense of restraint, which is naturally popular with boys. After she deliberately changed her image for a period of time, as she deliberately distanced herself from boys and changed her image of a tomboy, she showed her gentle, dignified and feminine side, so that the original boys who did not notice that she was a beautiful and mature girl’s eyes lit up with love, and as a result, the original playmates swarmed to express their love, making Xiao Ying feel the pressure. This phenomenon is the so-called distance produces beauty. For boys, there is also the phenomenon of the so-called herd mentality, that is, there are more people who are considered to be excellent women, there will be more suitors. This is an important psychological reason for everyone expressing their love to Ying at the same time, and even for the appearance of suitors from outside schools.
From the above analysis, it is just natural for Xiaoying to have numerous suitors. She should not worry about it, on the contrary, she should feel happy because she has more options than the average girl. She can properly use the fact that she is widely popular to build good relationships and lay a good foundation for success.
But in real-life reality, there are some beautiful women who are in painful, even tragic, situations because of their beauty. Some girls with a bright appearance, when there are more suitors around, have the feeling of drifting, making casual friends and possibly making a detrimental friend by mistake. Some of them can’t grasp what they really need, and at the age of growing knowledge they are prematurely heading for love and marriage, losing the opportunity for further development. Some are unrealistic and are bent on being a star, missing out on their future. This kind of wrong psychology has the potential to put some of the beautiful young women in a disadvantageous situation and some tragedies that should not happen.
For this article, Xiaoying should “not be happy with beauty, not be sad with beauty”, and must be careful in establishing deeper relationships with boys, and should carefully plan and grasp her future life path, constantly improving her character, developing her abilities in many aspects, and moving towards success one step at a time. (Reviewed by Yan Jinhai)