Modern people in the metropolis are slowly changing that traditional view of love in an open environment, and they are seeking an emotional satisfaction rather than stability. They want to enjoy the material and spiritual rights rather than to be trapped by love, much less to fulfill obligations for love.
The fourth type of emotion comes after and between family, friendship, and love, and as a complex emotion, can be broadly divided into three:
First, the cactus in the desert.
This emotion is based on trust and understanding, has survived setbacks, is free from the fragility of love, and will not change for decades. Like a cactus in the desert, it remains full of water in an incredibly dry desert, still vibrant where everything has withered. Cactus and desert are incompatible, but always together.
Second, the independent chopsticks.
This emotion, like the two chopsticks used at dinner, exists simultaneously, but touches only a small part of it. It is closer to sex than friendship, and what is missing is that sense of responsibility that comes with love. If and when they want to meet up they will contact and spend the night together, and usually help each other out, but they will not end up together. Such people live in busy metropolises and are mostly white collar people who are determined to be celibate.
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Third, flowers and cow dung.
As someone often says, “A flower in cow dung”, a flower needs to get nutrients from the other side so that it can bloom more beautifully, but only if it doesn’t leave the cow dung. As the other side of the cow dung to provide the flower with everything it wants, as long as it can “possession” flowers. This is not friendship, nor is it love. It is a kind of vanity that can be revealed by peeling off a thin layer of skin.
These three emotions are all “the fourth of the fourth”. The reason for this is that modern people in the metropolis are slowly changing their traditional view of love in an open environment, and they are looking for emotional satisfaction rather than stability. They want to enjoy the material and spiritual rights rather than to be trapped by love, much less to fulfill obligations for love. The number of young people who think this way is showing a growing trend in our country.
It is these spiritual homes that sustain them, even if they take risks. Listen to their real voices:
A: I can’t compete for love in a proper marriage
(Fu Xin: female, 28 years old, advertising director)
Men are able to distinguish many things: feelings are feelings, one-night stands are one-night stands, women are women, wives are wives. is a wife. A man who loves you more will not give up or even affect his family because of you, if he is not determined to get a divorce. I thought being a fourth person who doesn’t want results wholeheartedly would be more likely to make him understand and trust my feelings for him, but in fact, it’s no different than a third person except that it makes him feel relaxed and has no worries in his backyard. When I needed to go to an abortion for him, he was around to be careful because of his wife’s little cold.
I finally realized that being a fourth person is a self-sacrificing and self-proclaimed great path to purgatory, and this greatness and dedication is not enough to be humane!
But he should know how much I love him!
But I am still a fourth person, just like the order of feelings, I can’t float up to the heights to climb to the purity of friendship, but also never willing to fall into the mud pit to become the same kind of extramarital feelings, in the ground of reality, I can never compete with legitimate love.
B: Girlfriend, “confidante”, not one less
(Zhao Lei: male, 29 years old, IT elite)
I have a girlfriend now, but also a “confidante”. I think they are both excellent, one of them will be my bride in the future, and one will be my friend in life and death. They both get along very well too, and there is no conflict. It’s a very beautiful thing for a man to have a beloved one and a “soulmate” in his life!
And maybe it’s easy to find a girlfriend, but it’s not easy to find a true “soulmate.
I think it’s a good idea to have a real girlfriend, but it’s not easy to find a real “soulmate”. So I cherish our relationship, and I look forward to the fact that even if she gets married, we’ll still know each other, and we’ll talk about what’s bothering us, while our own families will be happy.
C: “I don’t want to start because I love each other too much and I’m afraid my feelings will disappear.”
(Kong Hong, 29, CPA)
Mr. Wen is excellent in every way, and such a man would make many girls swoon, while I have almost nothing but a master’s degree, average looks, an average family, and no talent. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies that will be able to offer a wide range of products and services.
He was very understanding and surprisingly agreed. For a while it did work out, too. We would call twice a day, write three emails, send five short messages, and then get together for one meal a week. We talked about everything in the text, and gradually I began to fall madly in love, not getting a message from him a day to sit on the edge of my seat. But despite this, every time Mr. Wen went crazy and tried to hug me, I resolutely refused.
Growingly, I noticed that he was calling me less and less, and every time I called, he hung up after a few words. Finally, one day, he told me that he could no longer maintain that platonic relationship with me, that the fourth emotion was too torturous for him, and that he gave up.
The fourth, a beautiful and somewhat hopeless word, gave me nothing but beauty.
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D: Looking forward to being his fourth
(screen name “Hip Hop”: female, freelance)
Meets That man,
was purely unintentional!
It’s like I got an arrow!
I was careless!
Love that man,
but intentionally!
Love is his “not like me”!
I’m not convinced!
I’m not the only one for him,
he has a wife and children!
And many, many cyber sisters!
Me? No words!
Leave him!
And feeling empty inside!
Less joy in life!
Maybe it’s a reluctance!
So,
I guess,
Love him?
It’s not possible!
Do not love him?
It’s also impossible!
I’ll be his fourth!
To my conscience,
and not to hurt others!
E: Being the fourth person is actually very tiring
(Jin Xing: female, 37 years old, self-employed)
I am a divorced but self-respecting woman, while Song Qiang has a wife who refuses to divorce him. I didn’t even think about being a third party to Song Qiang. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. We’ve known each other for two years, and in those two years, he’s always done his best to help me with whatever I’ve asked him to do. Finally, he proposed that I be his fourth, and because I believed in his generosity and his persona, I agreed.
We rented a one-bedroom house, and every double day Song Qiang would buy a lot of food and come to me to cook a table for me to improve my food, and I told him not to be so tired, but he just wouldn’t listen. The first thing that I did was to get to know the people who were in the house, so no matter how emotional he was, I always kept a proper distance from him, and Song Qiang did not dare to complain about this.
However, this kind of relationship is also very tiring, Song Qiang is more introverted and sensitive, while I am more cheerful and outgoing, treating people with a big heart. I have a lot of friends, and naturally a lot of phone calls, and Song Qiang together, whenever I am on the phone with ordinary male friends laughing, he is on the side of a sad frown, a look of being left out. And sometimes when I propose to go out on a double holiday, can not play with him at home, he will be sulking for a few days, so I have a sense of guilt, as if I owe him something, such a relationship really makes me feel very tired, but whenever I proposed to end this unspoken relationship, he repeatedly apologized to me, said he also cared about me to be so nervous, and said that in the future will definitely restrain themselves The company’s main goal is to stop making trouble for no reason. The company’s newest product is a new product that will be available in the marketplace.
I don’t know how long our relationship, which is a little more than friends and a little less than love, will last, but I really don’t think it’s any better than being a third party, and I’m starting to get a little annoyed. I thought for sure I would leave him at an appropriate time and get serious about finding myself a man I could legally marry.
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F: The Fourth Type of Emotion
(Meng Xiaomei: female, 26, secretary)
It was a very strange emotion, different from crush, different from admiration, different from colleague relationship, just a kind of unconscious emotion.
This is a very strange emotion, different from crush, different from admiration, different from colleague relationship, just a kind of unconscious “attraction”.
I think it’s a good idea to have a good understanding of what you’re doing.
My boss is the first man I’ve met in over 20 years who is so good that I’d like to admire him from afar. I am willing to behave well in front of him, to care about his feelings, and to be praised by him is an incomparable pleasure for me, a kind of self-worth affirmation or promotion.
I know he is also very good at using the fourth emotion to maintain the team spirit with his employees, and some of his colleagues also play this to make themselves more popular in the office and stand firm, but only care about him, and what he hands over is to roll with the punches and try to finish it, and then hand it over to him graciously and decently.
In companies with modern enterprise systems, the fourth category of feelings and regulations play a different facilitating role. I have always felt that if you have the ability to put money underfoot, people who are indifferent to it, will have a free mind, to have pure love, which is the greatest wealth of life, but also to get the top of the emotions – the real “fourth person”. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
G: The ostrich mentality of the fourth person
(Shen Chang: female, 32 years old, white collar)
I am a woman who is still in a siege, and although my life with my husband is uneventful and tasteless, I know in my heart that I cannot leave my husband in my life and fall into someone else’s arms. The first thing I did was to get into the arms of someone else. Not because I love him too much, but because I can’t bear it. He has given so much to me, to this family, to my parents, so much that I can’t repay him with a lifetime of companionship. The actual fact is that I am lonely, a loneliness that grows more and more from the bottom of my heart. The company’s main goal is to provide a more efficient and effective way to improve the quality of its services.
A year ago at a conference held by the industry, I met Mr. Tao, who was excellent in every way. He was dashing, intelligent, and had many advantages that my husband did not have and that I admired, and we fell in love at first sight, so to speak. But I knew I couldn’t betray my husband, and Mr. Tao, who also loved his wife deeply, kindly suggested that we could be more than friends and less than lovers, and I was caught in the trouble of loving or not loving, and I gladly accepted. In several exciting moments, we reminded each other to put the brakes on our emotions at the last minute.
The rules of this game were broken by myself six months later, when I had another argument with my husband over the education of our children, and looking at the face of my husband, who was becoming more and more of a stranger, I left the house in a fit of anger. And called Mr. Tao to meet with him. Mr. Tao, who was talking business with a client, heard my pain and desire, and immediately interrupted the negotiations with the client and rushed to the cafe where we often met. Looking at me, who was as haggard as a paperweight, he said nothing and took me to his home. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
After that, due to psychological factors, I could no longer live under the same roof with my husband, we divorced, and Mr. Tao’s divorce failed because of her wife’s refusal, and I became his veritable third party.
Now that I look back and think about it, the result is inevitable. The fourth and third parties are actually very close to each other, just like people who always walk by the river inevitably have to wet their shoes. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public.