Chinese couples have been talking about “being together and respecting each other” since ancient times. In traditional marriages, people like to integrate their love for their spouses into their lives, which is important, but less spicy and fun. Marriage experts point out that, compared to foreign couples, Chinese marriages tend to lack the following seven things. If you pay more attention and put more effort into it, your married life can become more harmonious and beautiful.
Intimacy
Most Chinese couples are shy and feel that “intimacy” is a sign of clinginess. But research shows that intimacy, such as hugs and kisses, is a necessity in marriage. The Japanese Wife Love Association has launched a “hug your wife program”, requiring husbands to give their wives several hugs a day, including the “regular hug” every day when they go out, waiting for the car, waiting for the traffic light, “waiting for the opportunity to hug
The “Wife Hugger Program” asks husbands to give their wives several hugs a day, including the “regular hug” when they go out, the “waiting hug” when waiting for the bus or traffic light, the hug from behind, and the warm hug with their arms around their waists.
Love talk
Some studies have shown that couples need to say at least three love words a day, such as “I love you” and “I miss you”. A study by Houston State University also found that sweet talk into a lover’s left ear is more likely to impress the other person.
Humor
Humor defuses and buffers conflicts and bridges gaps. Humor contains many messages: love your wife, make her happy, praise. When the wife receives these messages, her mood naturally turns cloudy and clear.
Appreciation
Chinese people are good at appreciating and praising their children, but they are used to looking at their spouses with a critical eye. There are many reasons for this, but it can hurt relationships and destabilize marriages in the long run. Everyone wants to be praised, and the more praise they get, the more they are motivated to perform well. So it’s a good idea to keep your appreciation of your partner on your lips.
Communication
William Wong, a professor at Northwestern University School of Medicine and known as “Dr. Love,” says the first task in a happy marriage is learning to communicate and resolve conflict. “The first thing you need to do to enhance the effectiveness of your communication is to replace criticism with praise, especially not personal attacks, and to use degree modifiers like often, always, and too sparingly. In addition, communication should avoid four periods of physical fatigue, hunger, illness or heavy workload, or it will affect the effectiveness.”
Childlike heart
Keeping a little more innocence and simplicity, having a little more hobbies and curiosity, is important to enhance marital happiness. People with a child’s heart have a more relaxed life, a happier state of mind, and are better at finding the interesting things in life. The first thing you need to do is to get home and close the door. The couple may want to learn from their children, often playing small games and joking around with each other to spice up their boring, monotonous lives.
Romance
Romance doesn’t necessarily mean flowers and wine, or money, but it comes in many forms, and the main idea is to “do something for your partner that he/she likes. For example, if your wife likes to watch a movie, and your husband is patient enough to watch it with her, that’s romantic; if your husband comes home from work at night, and your wife is waiting with the bedroom light on and a bowl of hot porridge, that’s also romantic.