Letter from a friend:
Sister Long:
Hello! I’ve been following you very closely, but I’ve read every one of your articles and still can’t see through my own problems. I hope you can answer my questions in your busy schedule.
I don’t mean to boast, but I am a very good person. I have a stunning face, fair skin, a long waist, long legs and big breasts, and I have been practicing dance and piano since I was a kid.
I have a wide range of interests, whether it’s beauty and weight loss and makeup, or poetry and philosophy, or the authorities can talk to people ten years older than me, and even games and computers and martial arts know a lot, and most of the non-majors of the same age don’t know as much as I do.
Friends say I’m a perfect person, and I’m confident in myself, so I’m naturally high-profile, and although I’m trying to be restrained, my nature is such that some people are upset. I dress more fashionable, or sexy, often showing clavicles, wearing deep V what [not to the point of black silk, super short skirt], friends say some people are talking behind the scenes, look at my displeasure people rumors I flirt. I am straightforward, sometimes speak directly, love to spoof, may be a little “guilty by words”, but with the majority of people on the surface of the relationship are good, the dead party level of the boys and girls are many. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
However, I don’t understand, this is not a big inspirational drama for losers, so why is my boyfriend always running away with the mistress!
The first boyfriend was a class act, and we were recognized as a class pair, and we felt good together. The first time he entered the school, he was chased by many women, but he fell in love with me at first sight during military training. I can say that at first it was really sweet, although he still has warblers flying around, but I am concerned about the face of the same department has been reluctant to turn the face, after all, head up, head down, at the same time there is a kind of inexplicable guilt, always feel that I robbed people like. The most important reason for this is to give people a chance.
He was my first love and I was not his. At that time I was a little unbalanced, plus inexperienced and shy for the first time, not knowing anything, hoping he would coax me to take me with him. But I want him to invite me to dinner, he has only once invited the school cafeteria, and the second will not be happy to invite, think I have their own money why let him invite [we are both children of the big city, family well-off]. This I can accept, men and women are equal, and I personally support feminism, do not reject the female dominant male dominant. It’s just that I think things like love require a man to let some of it go.
The other thing that frustrates me about him is that he is late and loves to stand me up, I don’t know if it’s on purpose or if he’s spoiled. The first date I arrived on time, but he kept me waiting for half an hour. At that time I put up with his tardiness, believed his reasons, and thought he was just dressing in bad taste to correct. Then I actually stood me up three times and I actually put up with it …… Apart from that, we lived sweetly and happily, but of course I now think this may have been my unilateral opinion.
As mentioned above, I am inexperienced and shy in love, so innocent that I dare not say a word to him in front of people, and I will sweat and blush when I hold hands in private. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. I don’t know who came up with the idea to send me nude photos of him, and also to give those warblers, which made me blush and angry, and after a big fight with him, ignored him. The first thing I found out was that not only did he not coax me, but he cheated on me, and the object of the cheating was a girl who had been chasing him since the beginning of the school year. The most important point is that after he stepped on two boats, before the exposure, chose to dump me ……
Analysis of the reasons, some people said I was too shy, no kissing, texting and not whispering husband. In addition to the above two, I think I’m trying very hard, after all, to a person who knows a month to call husband, and then kiss or something, I think it’s too fast, and he does not take me, that feels like backwards.
The first one is finished, please forgive me for rambling for a long time, although some details are still overlooked, I hope Sister Long can give me advice.
My second one is a really big hanger-on, which is not a good way to put it, but it’s accurate. The first one is the one with the best of the best. The result is that no one has been chasing Mr. for years, and after a month of being with me, he was pried by a girl who was only better than me at school.
I got together with him in the midst of 10,000 people’s disapproval, and everyone didn’t think much of us. I learned my lesson from last time and took the initiative to keep communicating with him for more than an hour a day. I especially do not like the library, because I only read and study in the library, think it is shameful to fall in love in the library, but he especially like to stay there. So one day a girl took the initiative to talk to him, and then the two were in close contact. One day I found a girl came to him all the time, he said it was his sister, the girl said she thought he was very warm and sunny (God, he was really depressed), he wanted to talk to him about everything, he also talked to the “girl” about everything. He said he had a girlfriend, and she said she just wanted to be his sister.
Because I have many male friends of my own and have a good relationship, I don’t reject his friends of the opposite sex either. He assured me of fidelity, and I am someone who absolutely trusts my boyfriend.
The result was that the underground relationship developed again, and I was out again.
At that time I had to prepare for an important exam and told him I wouldn’t see him first. But he said he wanted to give me a gift, and in a place where no one was around, he told me to close my eyes, and the gift he ended up giving me was actually a kiss. He didn’t kiss me, and I sensed something was wrong and shielded my face with my hands. I was furious about this. First of all we had only known each other for three weeks, talked for two weeks and hadn’t seen each other a few times. Plus he knew it was my first time, so he should have asked for my opinion. The most important thing is that I truly feel that our relationship is far from that point.
A few days later I finished my exams and he texted me asking to get back together. I was so affected by the breakup that I replied to him, “You’d better prepare for your exams!” It means to remind him not to do badly on the exam, so he won’t blame me again. But I may not have been clear, and when I responded, those two got together and left me hanging.
Sister Long, what am I doing wrong? Why do I always get dumped? Is it because I don’t communicate much with men? I’m not sure how to do that, but what’s the right thing to talk about? What kind of person should I be looking for to be happy?
Little Dragon Reply:
Let’s analyze the reasons why your first and second boyfriends dumped you.
The first boyfriend.
The first boyfriend, who you consider yourself to be “rich and beautiful”, and who, as a “class act”, has a good family environment, must also consider himself to be “high and handsome”. You feel very good about yourself, and I’m sure he feels very good about himself too. You think you need to be coaxed and pampered by each other, and I’m sure he also thinks he needs to be pampered and coaxed by each other. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you’re looking for.
The second boyfriend. First of all, he tried to kiss you and was rejected, which brings a lot of frustration to men. Secondly, you had said, “I told you to leave me alone, why are you so annoying!” This phrase is so powerful that a man with a little self-esteem can’t stand it. No matter how good a reason you have, saying something so hurtful in a sensitive relationship is tantamount to rejection. So, this “very good people, rich in substance, study is still good” of the boy why do you have to hot face to your cold ass? The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Of course, these are only the surface reasons.
The root cause of your two failed relationships is that you feel too good about yourself, and your letters are full of shallow feelings of superiority and disrespect for others. For example, you said that the girl who pursued the first boyfriend, “regardless of looks body voice learning temperament aspects are inferior to me, the overall quality even belongs to the lower middle” – first of all, you have no right to judge others, secondly, love can even and looks body voice learning temperament …… all okay. You also said the second boyfriend “is a really big hangers-on” (the meaning of this word readers can Baidu of their own, the general meaning of the origin of the humble “poor, short and ugly”), you look down on him deep inside, for him to do anything to feel that they are condescending, this kind of
The second one is that the relationship is not going to last.
The second reason is that you don’t know what a relationship is. The second reason is that you don’t know what it means to be in love. You have to listen to your heart when you fall in love. Obviously, you didn’t like either of your boyfriends. The first boyfriend, you said, “there is a kind of inexplicable guilt, always feel that I stole people like, like the last toy left, others want to buy, but the merchant gave it to me, a person who is not so eager to buy, but I do not want to give up to others. With the second boyfriend, you say to him that you’re with him because you feel safe and he won’t cheat – an even more ridiculous reason, like buying a bike not to make travel easier, but because it’s worn and old and won’t be stolen.
Of course, you don’t have to be overly anxious. I don’t think there’s anything terribly wrong with you, except that you feel too good about yourself. Your boyfriend is also to blame for the failure of your two relationships. You should still be young, 18 or 19, and in college, a prime time to try to interact with the opposite sex and enhance your emotional intelligence. At this age, few people really know what kind of opposite sex they need and what kind of opposite sex is suitable for them. Once unsuccessful, twice unsuccessful, maybe three times, four times still unsuccessful …… this is quite normal. The first thing you need to do is to get to know yourself and the opposite sex, and that’s the way to find true love and get married.
Friendship advice for your future relationships:
1. Intimacy and hand-holding, kissing and further intimacy must be developed to that point. There is no need to force yourself to make out with your boyfriend. It is also not necessary to self-imposed restrictions must be dating three months before you can hold hands, six months before you can kiss, etc., both of these extremes are ridiculous. In a word, it depends on what you want in your heart.
2. A guy who is often late for a date and stands you up can be kicked out a long time ago.
3. There is nothing shameful about “chasing”. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
4. If he is the right person, just be yourself.
5. Being “rich and white” is not the reason you have to be lucky. No one has ever guaranteed that a “rich white girl” can leave the house without stepping in dog shit, or that she won’t get flies in her noodle bowl.