When people are angry, they often do things that lack consideration and cause consequences that you may even regret later. And, inevitably, in the workplace, you have to pay attention to many things and people, and the relationship with colleagues and supervisors will have to be handled well. So, what should you do when you feel unusually irritable and irritated?
I. Why do you get grumpy and turn into a “stinker” and what can you do to control it?
First, let’s understand the root cause of your temper tantrums and “stinkers. The only way to treat the “disease” is to know the cause, and to find a more reasonable solution. Some people, who may not be bad-tempered in ordinary life, often feel grumpy in the workplace, feel angry, or even unable to resolve their anger. However, there are many reasons for this phenomenon. Let’s see which one you are.
1. Dissatisfied with the status quo, don’t like the job
Tip: Would giving up the job make you happy?
Those who don’t have a job are busy trying to find one, while those who do have a job are in deep misery because they hate the workplace. Some people are distressed because they can’t find a job, while others are miserable because they have one. If the job is the source of your misery, how hard is it to quit and leave?
But would quitting your job and giving it up really make you happy? That’s a question that’s worth thinking about.
My advice is to focus on “how to like the job or how to hold on to the job”. Don’t shift your pain to “because I don’t like this job”. Instead, try to eliminate the pain and then try to cultivate your mind.
2. Some people don’t get along with you and conflict with you over principles
Tip: There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may seem unreasonable to others.
Why are you angry? There must be this one person whose words and actions are so intolerable that you feel he has violated your bottom line. So, have you ever wondered if these words and actions have caused everyone’s anger? Not really. Some people find it hard to accept, while others feel nothing. If you just consider your own position, his words and actions are indeed abhorrent.
For example, when a Jewish person speaks out on certain issues, fellow Jews are convinced, but their Christian friends next to them may not be so happy to hear it. The president announces certain policies that people in some areas shake their heads at, and people in other areas clap their hands.
So it’s not what someone says or does that triggers your anger, it’s what’s wrong for your position. In other words, it’s not the person who made you angry, it’s you who got angry after hearing his words and seeing his actions. And the anger is because you think “I’m right and he’s wrong,” so the anger is really a reaction when you are too attached to your own opinions or values.
My advice is to let go of the idea that “I’m right” if you want to not get angry. There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may seem incomprehensible to others. When you are angry, you should know how to self-reflect: I am bigoted again, I think that only I am right again. This, then, is a kind of cultivation.
3. Your boss is so hateful that you feel disappointed in him and want him to pay attention to you at the same time
Tip: That’s someone else’s life, you have no right to interfere, just be yourself!
Ms. Liu, who works as a clerk in a foreign company, is 30 years old and struggles with how to get along with her female boss, often feeling cranky and uncomfortable. She said, “The mood of the company’s female boss changes 24 times a day, does things without guidelines, is spontaneous, never takes into account the feelings of others, and is mean-spirited in her words.” But what really bothered her was, “But it seemed that the bigger problem was with me. I kept hoping she would recognize my abilities and pay attention to me. I can’t even stand it when she pays attention to other co-workers. When I don’t see her after work, I also think, ‘Yeah, she’s just an ordinary person who has no eyesight and spends her days wandering. Instead, she’s just a poor person who needs my acknowledgement and affection!’ Thinking this way, I seemed to understand her bad temper, but when I met her at work, I couldn’t help but look at her and make mistakes in my hands and feet! And then the mood gets even worse.”
Let’s analyze Ms. Liu’s problem. The first thing is that she thinks her boss has a problem and thinks that she is not normal for wanting to behave in front of this boss. In fact, she is wrong to think that her boss is a problematic person, and secondly there is no need to worry about what her boss thinks. So, what can be done about this Ms. Liu’s problem?
First, take off the tinted glasses and realize that whatever this person says or does that you can’t stand, it’s just words and actions.
In fact, you’re feeling bitter and angry, but it’s really just because you’re measuring someone else’s life against your own values to see if it’s skewed. The consequence of this is not that she is torturing you, but that she is torturing herself. In fact, whatever she says or does, it’s her own life, not yours, and you need to realize that your bitter, angry self is interfering with someone else’s life.
Your son can’t grow up the way you expect him to, let alone your boss.
Second, “Believe that each person is a unique being who should be lived carefully and with focus.” This sense of self-esteem will instead lead you to respect others and to understand and accept them.
The conclusion that there is something wrong with your boss is really a result of obsessing over “I wish. It’s an arrogance to judge the world by your own ideas.
When a person is arrogant, they end up being the opposite of arrogant – humble. Just like people who are obsessed with power and people who despise power but become humble when they meet people who have more power than they do.
In fact, there is no superiority or inferiority in anything; the condition of superiority or inferiority arises because of comparison. And humility comes from comparison.
II. How do you control your anger?
So what do you do when you’re angry, when you’re angry? Should you let it out, or should you suppress it? As described at the beginning of this article, repressing anger is not good and can even have very serious negative consequences. So, the answer is to control it. How to control it? Now you are taught the best solution.
1. Situational transference
When anger is steep, there are five ways to deal with it: one is to stifle it by pushing it into your heart; two is to punish yourself by taking it out on yourself; three is to vent it unconsciously with revenge; four is to lose your temper and let it out in a very strong form; and five is to offset it by diverting your attention. anger. Among them, diversion is the most positive way to deal with. The more you look at the people and things you don’t like, the angrier you get, the more fire you see. At this point, you might as well have a “36th plan to go for the best” and quickly leave the occasion that made you angry, preferably with a friend you can talk to and listen to music, take a walk, you will gradually calm down.
2. Reason control
When you’re angry, it’s best to let your reason go first, by saying to yourself, “Don’t get mad, it’s not worth getting mad at.” You can say to yourself, “Don’t get mad, it’s not worth getting mad at,” and “Getting mad is stupid and won’t solve anything.” You can also give yourself an order at the moment you are about to get angry: Don’t get angry! Hold on a minute! One minute to hold on, good job, and then hold on for three minutes! Two minutes to hold on, I began to control themselves, may as well hold on for another minute. Three minutes have been held up, why not hold on to it again? So, use your reason to overcome your emotions.
3. Evaluate and postpone
Anger comes from evaluating the “irritation”, maybe a look from someone else, maybe a sarcastic remark from someone else, or maybe even a misunderstanding of someone else. It’s something you’re “furious” about at the time, but if you comment on it an hour, a week, or even a month later, you might think it was “not worth it.
4. The goal sublimation method
Anger is a powerful psychological energy that, when used improperly, hurts people and harms them, but when sublimated, it becomes a powerful motivator for career achievement.
The company’s main goal is to develop an ambitious life goal, to change the habit of counting the gains and losses in the immediate area, and to consider everything from the big picture, from the long term, only when a person has established an ambitious life ideal, can treat people with tolerance, have a larger measure, will not tolerate their energy is tripped up by insignificant small things, and hinder the pursuit of the ideal career.
The key is to know how to get rid of the anger, and it is not necessary to let it out. The key is to master the method, then, after learning the above methods, I believe that MM have their own ideas!