In the crowded subway, looking up and seeing a guy a few meters away, suddenly had a feeling of suffocation, heartbeat jumped to 120 times per minute, he is exactly my cup of tea, how to talk to him? The five best tips on how to strike up a conversation are taught.
1. Make yourself “Karma Friendly”
Making yourself accessible and a pleasure to be around is the first key to success in pickup. Social psychological studies have found that people who smile, make eye contact, and integrate body language into their surroundings exude the unbeatable charm of a “karmic friendly person. Therefore, you should initiate eye contact with others and nod gently when you meet, to convey respect and friendliness. If you’re at a party and everyone has a glass of wine, your hands should never be empty, and if there’s music, your body should be dancing to it, so that those who are interested in you and those who are interested in you will be happy to get close to you.
2. What should you say in your first sentence? Start with the environment!
If you go straight up and just say, “I like you a lot, can I meet you?” If you’re lucky, you’ll hit the jackpot, but more often than not, you’ll make a fool of yourself by scaring people, huh? The smartest thing to do is to look for clues from your environment so that your opening is generous and not abrupt.
At the supermarket, ask, “Do you know if this brand is a good product?” In the library, say, “This book you borrowed, I also like it a lot.” In the cafe, greet it so, “It’s my first time here, are you too?” It would be even more pleasing if you could politely add, “I’m so sorry to bother you, please ……” before you open your mouth!
3. Praise a woman’s temperament and affirm a man’s ability
Men chasing women: “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen ……” This kind of direct praise sometimes makes the heart wary instead. If you want to compliment someone, a better approach is to address her temperament: “I appreciate a quiet, elegant girl like you …….”
Women chasing men: it’s often easy to get a positive response from a help-seeking perspective: “Something’s wrong with my phone (or something’s wrong with my laptop), can you please look at it for me?” Give men the opportunity to show what they can do, and they’re usually happy to do it.
Women can also use a more roundabout approach when it comes to complimenting men. When a man makes a thoughtful service for you (such as helping you get a drink), the best praise is not: “Wow, you’re so thoughtful!” A more intelligent response would be, “You know what? I appreciate a thoughtful man!” This way, the other party knows what to expect without being too explicit. The next step is a good one. If the man doesn’t want to, you won’t be embarrassed.
4: Quietly strike from the east
If you see a man you like, but it’s not appropriate to strike him directly. If you see someone of the opposite sex, but it’s not appropriate to speak directly, you can first find someone of the same sex as you and open up a conversation with the volume turned up (hey, you have to make sure he/she can hear you!) Hi, how are you? I’m so-and-so, are you coming alone?” After a few words, you can turn to the person you’ve targeted and invite him/her to join your conversation: “Hey, what about you? How did you meet whoever it was?”
We’re usually happy to participate when we don’t feel intentionally hit on, but are invited to join an ongoing conversation. So go to a party and find a same-sex friend to pair up with to make this practice work. But remember, when the conversation gets going, it’s time for the partner to find an excuse to disappear, creating an opportunity for you to have a deep conversation alone.
5. Create the opportunity to meet again
Don’t forget to make today’s initial bond into a long-term interaction. A more natural way to do this is to talk about a common hobby between two people, and you can say something like, “That’s great, I have a group of friends who are movie fans, let’s call you next time we go to the movies!” In this very casual way, “Please leave your contact information, next time I will definitely look for you!” Or simply and graciously say, “I had a great time talking to you today, let’s exchange ideas next time we have time!”
Hitching up is a highly effective way to meet people, so if you want to find happiness, do it with gusto!