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More than 25% of domestic violence comes from personality distortions, and addictive vices almost always lead to a distortion of a person’s personality, which makes the incidence of domestic violence alarmingly high.
Domestic violence male sign #1: Easy emotional loss at home
Many people assume that men who are violent tend to be very emotionally out of control and are impulsive personalities. But in fact, I’ve seen many men who are impulsive outside and at risk of fighting with someone at any time, come home and never touch their wives with a finger.
Some military and career-oriented strong men are very domineering and emotionally charged outside, but they just don’t touch their wives when they get home. So when you look at men, you can’t lump emotional outbursts into one type, because there is a difference between outbursts.
The most dangerous men who are prone to domestic violence are those who are “prone to emotional outbursts at home”.
We can observe that those men who suddenly jump at their wives at home, who break things at home, who take it out on their wives at every turn, are basically prone to domestic violence.
Why is there such a clear difference between emotional outbursts at home and emotional outbursts at home?
Simply, because for men, there is often a position to do things, those who are prone to emotional outbursts outside, they can distinguish what is the enemy of my conflict, they are impulsive outside, in order to get the benefits to the family, outside they are outsiders enemy, while inside they are their own people.
The opposite is true for people who are emotionally out of control at home. They can no longer distinguish between their positions, they don’t know who are their own people, they are the most selfish, for these people, as long as they are emotionally impulsive, they dare to kill even their parents, what is a wife to you?
Domestic violence male sign 2: addictive vices such as drug addiction, gambling, abuse, severe alcoholism
I often say that men with addictive vices should not be wanted, these vices include drug addiction, gambling, abuse, severe alcoholism (no smoking or anything, don’t derive from it).
Why not? Because these addictive vices can cause a person to change their personality, lose control of their emotions, and distort their personality.
Some people who are all kinds of nice when they first fall in love with you, but just have these vices, still can’t have them. Because these vices are impossible to quit, while changing a person’s personality is almost a given.
There is a case where a girl married a man who liked to gamble, and at first the two lived very well, but the more the man gambled, the more he lost, and finally one time he was in a bad mood, lost control of his emotions, and beat his wife at home.
Since then, domestic violence has become a habit, and this man will come home and beat his wife whenever he loses money. His wife tried unsuccessfully to get a divorce several times, was chased and stalked and beaten, and finally had to hide in a domestic violence shelter to get temporary relief.
Domestic violence man sign three: moral bottomlessness
What is moral bottomlessness?
Does a bad guy have to beat his wife? Not necessarily, some people who have broken the law, even such as murderers and wounded criminals, may be very good to their families, some steal just for their families, and some break the law just for their children.
They break the law, but are not morally bottomless.
If a person doesn’t even care about his family, he would rather sacrifice them for himself, for his ego, for his own benefit. When he can go and hurt his loved ones and leave them to suffer the pain for the sake of being happy. Then this person is morally bottomless.
Within the family, no matter who is angry, there are times when they get excited. But what does it take to control yourself and not get your hands dirty and hurt your family? What is control? It is the basic moral bottom line, which is a person’s basic control.
If the person doesn’t care about his family, never treats them like dirt, is completely cold-blooded and ungrateful, then when he gets excited, hurting his family becomes a common occurrence, and domestic violence is simply a tool for him to vent his emotions.
In other words, he doesn’t love his family at all, nor his wife and children, so of course he will beat you when he gets upset.
Domestic violence male sign #4: Pride over life
There is another type of man who has superb self-esteem, pride over life, and ends up practicing domestic violence to preserve his self-esteem.
I have a case of a man who has a very high self-esteem, and he married his wife and came back and was having a good time. But then, his wife’s ex-boyfriend began to spread rumors outside and constantly slander his wife. When this man heard these rumors, he felt humiliated and felt that his self-esteem was traumatized in front of outsiders.
This man’s basic logic was: “If a woman is unfaithful, a man would rather die.” (In fact, what happened to his wife was just a rumor).
With this strange logic, the man came home and started beating his wife and committing domestic violence constantly. In his subconscious, his pride was far greater than his own life, let alone his wife’s life.
So around such a man, you never know which thing will hurt his pride, and you never know which thing will get you beaten up.
In short, when a man values his face as more important than his life, the people around him must be in danger. Because it only takes a small rumor to break down this man’s defenses and make him see you as the enemy.
Domestic violence male sign #5: Distorted personality and mental illness
The last point is the one that is medically recognized. Mania, depression, schizophrenia, menopausal psychosis, all of these can bring about the effects of domestic violence. These diseases can be medically identified and easily distinguished in ordinary life. For girls, look for a normal boyfriend, not one with an eccentric temper. It is also effective to circumvent these problems by finding a cheerful and lively boyfriend, not a gloomy and difficult one.
It’s worth being alert to the fact that domestic violence is always gradual. At first, these types of people may just lose their temper at home, but slowly, they start to get mildly physical, and then they start slapping, and in the end, when their emotions get out of hand, they can do anything.
I’ve recently received cases of people slapping their pregnant wives, pouring hot pot directly on their girlfriends, and choking leading to suffocation.
Again, don’t condone it, break it up once you commit it, domestic violence is addictive, it will come back, and it will get worse one at a time.