When it comes to the word freedom, it’s hard not to think a bit stereotypically. Many people say that enjoying freedom means not loving, not loving enough to give all the time to a lover, and there is even a lot of similar toxic chicken soup online. For example, I often see a similar title – “Does he really love you if he won’t even pick out a lipstick for you?
In relationships, some people are in a pretty rational state, with long and short-term plans and a clear idea of what they want and what they can do. They are not the kind of age where love is new, they can eat and watch movies by themselves, they can organize their lives in an orderly way, they don’t care if the other person sends them a bouquet of flowers, they don’t need the other person to have to remember every anniversary, and they don’t even like surprises very much. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
After many peopleasked how much couples need to beselfish this is a very important question. when the question is, it’s really more important to ask yourself what youwant more. , and what the other person wants more. If what you want is for two people to spend every moment together, and what the other person wants is to be able to keep their normal social interaction in addition to love, it is inevitable that conflicts will arise over time.
So let’s be clear about two questions: first, can love and freedom coexist, and second, what does freedom mean?
1. Love and freedomcan coexist
Freedom is a very broad concept, and there is certainly no standard answer.
Many people ask the appropriate questions when they are in a relationship; what if the other person doesn’t answer the phone, what if the other person stays out late with friends, what if the other person doesn’t return messages when playing games. In fact, it seems like everyone has related doubts and even suspicions, and there is no shortage of couples who have risen to the triple point of love and unlove because of such things.
One person can be independent and dashing and free and love you at the same time. strong>.
It’s just that in his life, the investment in love is a small percentage. He has a full life, with a career, life, and entertainment that he is willing to invest in. Love is just one part of the time he will spend, but not all of it. The time he spends on love is one, and the rest of his time is allocated to work, friends, and family.
I’m very much against the theory that a small percentage of love investment equals no love, even to the point that I’m happy to be with someone who has a life of his own.
How boring it is to have a person who has only love inside their life, to have their lover as their all. It’s not like you can’t have a good time. It is like the possessive mothers in those movies and dramas who are afraid that others will take away their son’s attention from them.
Any kind of intimacy is not all equal. wouldn’t be all equal, puton the scales to measure themselves. strong>’s input and the other person’s input, in essenceor a strong>lack of their own lives.
If a person is intrinsically interesting and likes instruments, games, dancing, or anything else. He has a very fulfilling job, with his own projects and proud achievements and careers, cooks his own meals after work or goes out to restaurants with colleagues, sometimes with his lover to try a newly opened store. When you get home, you can take care of your own kitty, and after washing up, you can chat with your lover and talk about your weekend plans. Then go to bed and say good night to each other, and then go and enjoy the peace and quiet without anyone disturbing you.
Does his lover feel that he doesn’t love him, or that the other person doesn’t love him?
I have a friend who hasn’t left the social scene since she fell in love. She spends an hour and a half dancing after work every day, and we go out shopping on Sunday afternoons as usual, occasionally pulling her boyfriend along on dinner dates to spread a wave of dog food. The man is a fixed time to play basketball, have free time to enroll in a certification class to improve themselves. The two of them went on a trip together when they were on annual leave, without being very deliberate and without the need to put on a show for outsiders to see.
This is a very comfortable way to spend time with a lover, without giving up your hobbies.
2. Freedom is indegrees
Some people would say cheating or having an open relationship is also a form of romantic freedom.
But freedom and exclusivity in a relationship are two dimensions. dimensionsof things, and aspiring to freedom freedom does not mean not being dedicated< strong>, lack of responsibility for relationships nor should the so-called freedom be used as an excuse.
One of my roommates in college was a very possessive girl, in other words, a “small mastermind” and a “vinegar mastermind” whose demands on her boyfriend were unbelievable in the eyes of single dogs like me. The company’s main goal is to provide a comprehensive range of products and services to the public.
She used to call her boyfriend at two in the middle of the night just because he didn’t say good night when he went to bed. She was always worried, afraid of cheating and betrayal, which of course is not a problem, but her demands went up, and when the other person failed to meet or fulfill her expectations, she would pull us in to complain. She feels that she has given a lot and can’t help but tolerate devotion, fearing that the other party doesn’t love her enough, and every day she divinely talks about how the other party might be flirting with some girl.
All of these behaviors annoyed us about her, and after all, no one likes to be a garbage can for other people’s emotional catharsis every day. To be honest, we seemed a bit insensitive, but we did breathe a sigh of relief when she broke up.
I understand that many people are insecure in their relationships, and that feeling is actually a bit like a drowning person clinging to a piece of driftwood, afraid that if they let go they will fall.
But people are notdriftwood, and if you hold on too tightly, you will eventually suffocate. strong>. It’s not only the love that is so fierce that it will kill you and kill me, but also the love that is so Qiong Yao style.
If you’re a professional, you’ll be able to get the best out of it.
No one is obligated to be the world to another person, and no one should treat another person as their world.
Love can be treated as a symbiotic relationship, . Those tragiclove stories always have one side that seems tragic It seems that they throw away allfor loveand get nothing,But in factonly to make excusesfor their emptiness. The seemingly tragic person is the taker in the relationship, and they are good at kidnapping themselves and the other person with tears, hysteria, and “I love you because of me,” wanting to be validated and accepted by the other person’s attention.
Freedom in relationships does come in degrees, because choosing to be in a relationship inevitably reduces personal time alone. The so-called using freedom as an excuse to cheat or otherwise hurt the other person is pure selfishness and lack of morality; it’s not freedom they want, it’s doing whatever they want.
3. Maintaina level offreedom
This, of course, cannot be done without communication with the lover.
Loveofloveofselfis notnotconnectedtothe strong>, notspoiled, notabout, but ratheris in love with each other when retaining their previous The hobby.
Some people like to watch movies and eat alone, while others like to have the company of lovers at home, and every adult has the right to choose their own life. The world of people say that the three views should be compatible, and this is especially true in a romantic relationship. If one party in the relationship is very possessive and needs a lover to be caring and accommodating at all times, while the other party is more focused on work life, it inevitably does not seem appropriate.
I once read that being in a relationship is like flying a kite, no matter how far the other person floats, the line is always in your hands.
I’ve seen it said that a relationship is like flying a kite.
Rather than being hysterical after getting together, it’s better to be open and honest at first, to be clear about your needs and expectations. The two of them can’t get along any better than when they feel each other’s bottom line, and if they disagree on that point, they can always hone in on that degree of getting along and keeping in step. The two of them are very considerate and accommodating to each other, the relationship is not a tug of war, you have to come and go, after all, communication is always easier and more comfortable than arguing. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Love is not deliberate, but in front of mutual respect and care. mention, choose the most comfortable way to get along.
Please love each other in a way that you and the other person are both willing to accept.