It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a difficult problem left in history, why there are very few who handle it well, one of the important factors lies in men. Men as a middleman between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many conflicts may be caused by men, and men do not know how to deal with the relationship between the two women, it will lead to deepening conflicts. Here is a detailed account of the situation.
Why does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law depend on the husband
Why does a mother-in-law always pick on her daughter-in-law-perhaps in her mind, only she herself is the ideal lover for her son? This is the state of most Chinese mothers: there is so much love between mother and son, entangled and irrational, and the mother is so deeply involved in her son’s life even after he is married.
In fact, very few mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws can have a particularly good relationship, and some of them can live peacefully and respectfully with each other, and more of them have a bad relationship with their spouses, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not too good, and the deterioration of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can even deepen the conflicts in the relationship between spouses as well, so it is important to deal with The relationship between these three is also a guarantee of making your marriage happy.
The two women who are mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were unrelated in previous decades and became a family only because they shared a love for a man, so the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship is not just a relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but a triangle that is more complicated than a love triangle. In a love triangle, there is always one who is not loved and one who will eventually quit, so it is relatively much simpler. But in a mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship, both women are loved, and neither woman can quit, and they should also live in harmony. But Chinese mother-in-law-daughter-in-law conflicts have been thriving for thousands of years, and mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have almost become “natural enemies”, leaving the man who should have the love of both women caught in the middle, suffering from the pincushion. Many men do not know how to handle this relationship, resulting in deeper and deeper conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the light family discord, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law grievances, the heavy wife and daughter-in-law are separated, the family is broken! As a good husband who is cared for, a good son, to know how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the next interview try to follow the following five codes.
5 rules for handling mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship
< strong>Code 1: Don’t be obedient to your parents for the sake of “filial piety”
Never defend your name as a “filial son” to preserve your
Never give up the basic principles of being a human being in order to maintain your reputation as a “filial son”, and never blindly take your parents’ words as the supreme “holy orders”.
When your wife is in conflict with your mother, you should not conclude that it is your wife’s fault and help your parents to blame her. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Code #2: Help your wife integrate into your family
This This point may be the point where all husbands cry foul: since they married their wives and brought them home, how could they reject her? But some men, although subjectively no such ideas, in fact, are doing such things, so that the wife feels that he is an outsider in your home, everywhere rejected. After the woman is married, into a completely new environment, it is inevitable that there will be a sense of helplessness, and a natural sense of defense. In this family, only her husband is the closest person to her, some of the behavior of other people in the in-laws, although subjectively may not be malicious, but she will be considered by her actions to hurt her, then you need to be a good bridge of communication husband, please do not just accuse her of “sensitive, more heart, small temperament … The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing.
Code #3: Don’t be a mouthpiece for your mother and wife
It is naturally good that your mother and wife can talk and get along openly and honestly. But after all, your mother and wife are from different generations, habits, values and many other aspects will be different, life is inevitably friction, and not all mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can directly tell each other their grievances. So, the husband will become the wife’s object of complaint, and the mother-in-law will find the son to say that the daughter-in-law is not. This time, the wisest thing for men to do is to patiently listen to the two women’s complaints, respectively, a good comfort, cleverly let the two women’s dissatisfaction with each other to disappear into thin air. The stupidest thing to do is to convey the wife and mother’s complaints or grievances to each other. Many mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law were not much of a conflict, just some small friction, but after the middle of the man’s communication, small friction will rub “big sparks”, so that the conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become incredibly sharp, complex, plus some women are too small, so will be the result of the inability to solve the forever “The final result is to put the man who sent the message into the deep water and hot fire to fry.
Code 4: Give your wife the opportunity to be good and keep the opportunity to be evil for yourself
In life, everyone likes to be good and be appreciated by others (except those with neuroses), but when dealing with relationships, especially in-law relationships, smart husbands give the opportunity to be good to their wives, such as buying things to honor their parents, or things that will please them, one all let their wives step in and flash aside themselves. Even if they do, they will tell their parents is the wife’s heart, most of the in-laws will feel that the daughter-in-law sensible, there is no reason not to like the daughter-in-law, but the love for you will not be reduced in the slightest. Stupid man will hide behind his wife, let his wife out, and let his wife therefore carry the “shrewish wife, evil daughter-in-law” reputation, and even he will stand to his wife’s opposite side, and his parents together to deal with his wife. Such a husband, they are in front of their parents to do a good job, but also to get a “filial son” reputation, but will love the family’s wife hurt all over the body, and let her disappointed in the family, lightly affect your feelings as a couple, the heavy let your family disintegration, wife and children. If you are a smart man, please stand up to your parents at this time, do not let your wife be the villain, your wife and your parents quarrel once, your parents may remember a lifetime of revenge, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is basically no possibility of repair. If you are the one who quarrels with your parents at this time, your parents may temporarily feel sad and scold you for being an “unfilial son” who “married his wife and forgot his mother”, but no parents can fight their own children, and no parents will hold a grudge against their own children, you have quarreled. The first thing you need to do is to get your own personalized information.
Code #5: Don’t put the obligation of filial piety on your wife
Men often say to their wives, “My parents worked hard to raise me, so you have to be filial to my parents. Originally this sentence heard more, and do not feel anything. But when you think about it, the logic seems a little confusing. Your parents raised not your wife, but you. Why don’t you take care of your parents, but you want your wife to fulfill this obligation instead of you? Your wife doesn’t owe your parents anything. Although it is proper to be a daughter-in-law and honor your in-laws, is it justified for you, as a son, to shirk your responsibility? 2 women love the same man, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law depends on the husband, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good or bad, the man is the pivot role, is the bridge of communication between each other, if the man handles it well, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is naturally good, if the man does not handle it well, then the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is estimated to be more rigid!
If you’re not sure what you’re doing, you’re not sure what you’re doing.