A relationship between a man and a woman can become more and more muted over time if it is not well controlled. It is easy to get into a big fight over a little thing. The idea of breaking up will arise over time. How to keep couples from being hurt by their love, let’s see what the experts have to say.
Tianjin reader Tian Wen asked: I’m 26 years old, and my boyfriend has been dating for three years. I think it’s time to talk about marriage, but our feelings are getting weaker and we often argue over small things. I think this is very tired, since the love is gone, why not break up. But when my boyfriend heard me say “break up”, he was very bitter and angry, and even said in one of the arguments, “I really want to kill you!” What should I do?
Emotional counseling expert and supervisor of Beijing Red Maple Counseling Center, Xie Hua: Love is the most beautiful word for human beings, but many people are hurt by it.
The first time I saw a young man, I was very impulsive.
I think there are two reasons for this: on the one hand, many young people grow up under a lot of care and attention, and they get what they like from a young age, and this mentality is brought into the relationship, and it becomes the mentality of “I like you, you have to be with me, and it is never acceptable to leave me”.
On the other hand, some people don’t have a proper understanding of what it means to be in love. The ultimate goal of a relationship is to find someone to live with for the rest of your life and build a family, but in a relationship, people tend to forget this goal. When one party finds out that the other party is not suitable for them and proposes to break up, the passive party feels a great loss and has a painful experience of self-denial, which leads to a resentful mindset.
In fact, as long as both parties realize that falling in love is simply a process of understanding the choice of a marriage partner, they will be able to face the breakup better. In reality, when it comes to breaking up, pay attention to the way: you must first affirm the goodness of the other party, and thank them for everything they gave you when they were together; then you must clearly state what aspects you feel the other party is not suitable to be a partner; the breakup should be expressed pertinently and clearly, and the behavior should be decisive and not dragged out. The other side is unwilling to accept this reality in their hearts, they will misread your statement, but bring more harm to themselves and each other.