Love is the desire of all people, just like when we hear that “the prince and the princess live happily ever after” we think it’s too good to be true. But reality tells us that marriage is not the end of the drama, but the beginning. Psychologist Gottesman set up a love lab with a cozy apartment, the warmth of home, and a single mirror for observation, and observed the interactions of many couples every weekend for 12 hours a day to come up with:
< strong>Signs of a broken marriage:
1. The argument was fierce at the beginning.
2. Criticize the other person instead of expressing your own feelings.
3. Belittle the other person.
4. Arguing about the slightest thing and trying to defend yourself.
5.
6. Negative body language.
Gottesman also found, in predicting whether marriages would last, that couples whose marriages last spend an average of five more hours a week on maintaining them than couples whose marriages don’t. Take a look at how they do it, and you might want to try it too:
Small details that sustain love in marriage:
1. Going out: when these couples leave the house in the morning, they find one thing that both of them will do that day (2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes)
2. Coming home: when they come back from work every day, these couples have A very relaxed conversation (20 minutes x 5 days = 1 hour and 40 minutes)
3. Loving: touching, hugging, kissing, these acts are full of messages of tenderness and mutual understanding (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)
“text-indent:2em;text-align:left;”>4. Dating once a week: the two find a relaxed setting to escalate their love (2 hours a week).
5. Praise and appreciation: praise and thank each other at least once a day (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)
Can you do any of these? Others toss others, and you, take your lover’s hand and start your marriage defense!