Finding the right man for you to marry is a lifelong priority for most women. How to determine if he is the real deal? 5 key qualities that must be reviewed. Here are the criteria of a good man for sisters to share, hurry up and see that your he has meet?
I. Mature
Mature as mentioned here does not mean “having a full-time job,” “being able to talk to people about current events and politics,” “telling you he wants kids,” and so on, but maturity of mind. Whether or not you have this can be judged by three things, all of which are important to the marriage relationship:
1. The ability to look at things objectively, consider the other person’s opinion, and examine your own thoughts when two people are in conflict. When a disagreement arises between two people, a mature-minded person should understand that there is more or less merit in both people’s opinions. They will calmly and patiently think differently, ponder, understand and respect each other’s ideas. If he/she is stubborn and does not listen to the other person’s opinion, then he/she is not mature enough, which is necessary to maintain a healthy marriage relationship. Therefore, if he/she cannot seriously consider the other person’s point of view, it will be difficult for you to maintain a long and harmonious marital relationship with him/her.
2. Be patient and work things out with mutual respect. Your marriage will be beautiful and happy only if the two of you can find appropriate solutions to quell the quarrel. If you can’t explore reasonable solutions together to resolve conflicts, your relationship will be mired in a quagmire of sticking together and arguing.
3. Be open and honest with each other. In a healthy marriage relationship, couples will reveal their vulnerable side to each other. Mature-minded partners will reveal to each other their own hearts, fears, and even the eccentric side of their character, but also respect and accept each other these hidden emotions and character. Partners who are unable or unwilling to reveal their hearts to each other also tend to reject growth and change in the marital relationship.
II. Improvising
Improvising doesn’t mean that when unconditional surrender of one’s will to accommodate the other when conflict arises between the two, but rather a determination to adjust oneself for the sake of progress and growth for the future. For example:
1. The ability to give in from time to time and change the way you do things without complaint. Mature-minded partners do not harbor any resistance to new ideas and are always ready to learn new ways of thinking and doing things. Those partners who are stubborn and stuck in their ways tend to become more and more headstrong as time goes on.
2. Be able to change your plans, goals, and even some aspects of your personality as a way to adapt to the needs of the marriage relationship or situation. Life is unpredictable. Whatever new situations arise in life, people who are good at improvising are able to adjust themselves comfortably, adapt gradually, and not lose themselves as a result. If he/she is often overwhelmed by the many unexpected events or intractable troubles that occur in daily life, then he/she will have to experience greater pain than others if he/she wants to grow in the face of major changes in life.
Three, being committed
In a healthy marriage relationship Taking on obligations does not mean becoming a control freak or always being jealous (“I’m angry because I care about you so much”), nor does it mean unhealthy codependency – a complete abandonment of one’s personality, perceptions, and goals. Being obligated means both:
1. Always put maintaining a harmonious marriage relationship first, be willing to change your style of acting if necessary, and force yourself to make decisions that are not to your liking, or even against your will.
Many times, taking on obligations means making choices. The mature spouse recognizes the inevitability of doing so and sees it as achieving a positive transformation in their life. The immature spouse is angry when faced with these choices and complains to the other spouse about how these decisions have negatively affected his/her life.
2. The spouse will keep the promises he/she made and take on the responsibilities of the marriage relationship no matter what, even if it is unpleasant for him/her or requires him/her to sacrifice his/her will. The mature-minded spouse is proud of these decisions he/she has made, while the immature spouse is full of complaints and resentment, arguing with the other person or debating endlessly.
Four: Reliability
This is a critical factor in a marital relationship factor. To earn your partner’s trust, it’s not just a matter of being faithful and never lying to each other, but also of doing two things:
1. Respecting someone’s feelings, frustrations, and secrets, even if he/she doesn’t agree with their values and behavioral performance.
A trustworthy person never has a biased heart and doesn’t judge someone’s feelings and secrets with their own opinion. If your spouse caps your friends, family, and co-workers with their own values, he/she will soon lose your trust in him/her because he/she does not know how to respect those around you. In that case, it will be difficult for you to talk about any topics related to these people. Eventually, these sensitive topics will become off-limits, causing a gap between you and drifting apart.
2. Be forgiving and generous, regardless of your past.
No one is without fault. If your spouse holds a grudge against you for mistakes you’ve made and keeps bringing them up against you, it will be difficult for him/her to gain your trust and for you to build a happy, close relationship from the start.
V. Romance
For a marriage to last and be happy, the couple must be in tune with each other on this point. Otherwise, no matter how carefully they take care of the relationship, the relationship between them will be at best two people with common interests and similar interests who happen to come together and love each other.