Most married sons have conflicts with their mothers over family matters, and such conflicts can easily affect the relationship between mother and son, and if they don’t find a way to resolve them, they may affect the children’s married life and their own retirement life.
So what should a mother do when her married son is in conflict with his mother?
1. Don’t be an “elder”, treat your children as equals and look at the conflict neutrally;
2. Calm down your negative emotions and make sure you are at peace with yourself, then go back to the facts and reasoning;.
3. Forget the unpleasantness, learn to let go, and redefine the way you spend time with your children.
Don’t put up an “elder stand”, treat your children as equals, and look at conflicts neutrally
When we have conflicts with our children, we must not put up an “elder stand”. The most important thing is to make sure that you have a good understanding of the situation. In everyday life, we should treat our children as equals. Especially when the children become a family, they should not be treated as “children”, they are already “adults”. Many parents do not understand that the “child” has become an independent and responsible “adult” in terms of thinking and behavior. “
The reason we are talking so much about this issue is that this is the core of the conflict. The only way to be truly neutral is to look at your conflicts from an equal perspective. There are many conflicts between mothers and sons, and they can be about trivial family matters or bias in speech and behavior. No matter which one it is, you have to find out the cause of the conflict and reflect on the whole process from the beginning to the intensification of the conflict from yourself to your children. When you find out the real cause of the conflict, you need to address it and solve it without bias.
Calm down your negative emotions, make sure you are at peace, and then go back to the facts and reasoning
In our daily lives, we find that when you give someone the “facts and reasoning”, they often don’t appreciate it. The first thing you want to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are talking about. Why won’t he listen?” In most cases, people tend to be irrational, and the factor that wants to convince the other person is not the message itself, but the context or situation in which that information is presented. This requires you to calm down negative emotions, ensure peace of mind, and go about creating a smooth and comfortable scenario before presenting facts and reasoning.
For example, when you have an argument with your married son over a family matter, you should not harp on him, let alone reprimand him in front of his wife. If your son argues with you at this point, simply turn away without saying a word. After a period of time, when both parties are out of anger, then laugh at your son’s ignorance in a joking tone and talk to him about your concerns, and your son will listen to you this time. When both of you are in an angry mood, any reasoning is no longer reasoning, even if you pull out your heart and soul.
Forget the unpleasantness, learn to let go, and redefine the way you live with your children
Parents and children should not hold grudges against each other, and when you have tried to finish resolving the conflict, forget about the unpleasantness. Also, don’t mention it later in life, which in China is called “rehashing old scores”. I believe that we all feel disgusted with “rehashing old scores”, but in fact such behavior will have the effect of “adding fuel to the fire”. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem of the problem.
We should be more concerned about ourselves than our children. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing. The new definition of the way to get along with children, to do less control and less questions, the child’s own choice of road, you can not walk for him, he is responsible for his own.
In short, when your children start a family, it’s more important for parents to go about their lives and plan your future retirement, how to live a colorful and meaningful life? The only way to do that is to rely on yourself.
Mencius said: “The old man is as old as the people; the young man is as young as the people. The world can be transported in the palm of your hand.
Mencius said, “The world can be transported in the palm of your hand. The world can be turned around in the palm of your hand, and in our daily life, there are many trivial family matters. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.