At the beginning of a marriage relationship, the mother-in-law’s view of her son-in-law is particularly critical. The son-in-law, after going through some tests, succeeded in getting recognized and finally got a beautiful woman, which itself implies the affirmation and blessing of the old man.
But in the future, the mother-in-law and the son-in-law need to get along more appropriately in the process of maintaining family relationships. The only way to avoid many family conflicts is to be cautious, so that family relations are harmonious and stable.
So how should mothers-in-law and sons-in-law get along? Three suggestions
1. Mutual respect. Both sides should develop the habit of respect. When young couples run their own families, elders will inevitably ask questions, and at this time both sides should not dislike each other and take respect as a prerequisite;
2. The newest addition to the lineup is the newest addition to the lineup. The young people should not interfere with the life of the elderly either, they just need to do their filial piety;
3, resolve the conflicts. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem. You can try to get your wife to intervene and reconcile, so that the relationship between the two sides is always in a cordial state.
Next, three suggestions will be elaborated and details will be given, and I believe you will get what you deserve.
Mutual respect
Respect is an important prerequisite in family relationships, and mothers-in-law and sons-in-law need to give each other enough respect in all aspects of their lives. The son-in-law needs to treat his mother-in-law as filially as his own mother, and the mother-in-law needs to treat his son-in-law as lovingly as his own child.
In the actual relationship between the two sides, it is not easy to achieve mutual respect, and the following three things need to be paid attention to in order to maintain a harmonious family relationship.
1. Don’t reveal your shortcomings. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing. The premise of respect is to leave a mouthful of virtue, not to freely ridicule each other’s shortcomings and faults, which does not help the maintenance of the relationship between the two sides, only damage.
No one should talk about the shortcomings of the other between the mother-in-law and the son-in-law, and they should pay attention to their words on any occasion, not to speak arbitrarily. For example, the mother-in-law says her son-in-law is incapable of making money and owes her own daughter; the son-in-law says his mother-in-law is unreasonable and rambles all day long.
Such verbal attacks can easily cause the deterioration of the relationship between the two sides, thus affecting the married life of the daughter and son-in-law, leading to unstable relationships and constant conflicts in the whole family. Therefore, mothers-in-law and sons-in-law should pay attention to their words and show the minimum respect to each other.
2. Be reasonable. The reason for this is that the other side has a set of sophomoric reasons for what you say, and you simply cannot convince him.
The Modern Chinese Dictionary defines the word “reasoning” as following reason, and the word “reason” as the basis for the rights and wrongs of a law, thing, or argument.
When the mother-in-law and son-in-law get along, they need to follow the objective laws (facts) and be able to discuss the rights and wrongs with each other. The only way to reason with each other is to respect the facts, so that the relationship between the two sides does not deteriorate and that there is true mutual respect.
3. Know the etiquette. The son-in-law needs to go to the door to greet the elderly at every festive season, which is the traditional etiquette. For example, at the Mid-Autumn Festival, the son-in-law needs to visit his mother-in-law’s house with gifts in advance, which not only makes the elderly feel the concern of their children, but also maintains the affectionate relationship between the two sides.
Respect is especially important in family relationships, and family members, unlike strangers, are more concerned with the bonds of affection between them. The “love” is a fundamental thing that we need to do, and that is to “respect each other”!
Non-interference
Mothers-in-law and sons-in-law are two generations of people who think differently and see things differently, called the “generation gap. The anthropologist Mead, in his book “Generation Gap,” suggests that there is a psychological distance or psychological gap between the younger generation and the older generation in terms of their ways of thinking, values, attitudes toward life, and interests.
Because of these objective reasons for the existence of a “generation gap” between the two sides, mothers-in-law must avoid over-interfering with each other when getting along with their sons-in-law. Three specific situations are listed below:
1. Don’t interfere with lifestyle. The elderly have their own way of aging and even more exclusive lifestyle, to which the son-in-law should not offer too much advice. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public, such as the Internet, the Internet, and the Internet.
Likewise, mothers-in-law should not ask their daughters how to live in their homes, as young people have their own way of life and their own family philosophy and values. In this regard, older people just need to live their own lives and not interfere with their children’s lives.
2. Don’t interfere with your work career. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
What about the son-in-law’s work career, that is his own private matter, also belongs to their small family internal matters.
The parents are outsiders, even to the young couple, because they are living on their own and have a “new home”.
3. Don’t interfere with your children’s education. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing. But I’m afraid that the elderly ignore their children’s ideas and directly interfere with their grandchildren’s (grandson’s) education, which can lead to children’s hearts and minds, and also affect the harmony of family relations. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
In short, mothers-in-law need to interfere less with the young couple’s married life and learn to let go; and sons-in-law need to try to meet the requests made by the elderly, so that they can take care of themselves and enjoy their family life to the fullest!
Resolving conflicts
It doesn’t matter if your mother-in-law sees your son-in-law as a good person, what matters is that your son-in-law and your daughter can live happily and securely. In most cases, the mother-in-law’s opinion of her son-in-law is based on whether her daughter is happy or not.
Two of the more prominent issues are addressed in detail with strategies to deal with them.
1. When a young couple is in conflict, how should the mother-in-law resolve the conflict?
If a daughter is aggrieved in a marriage, the mother will not want to be, and a bad-tempered one may even go directly to her son-in-law to question him, and the marriage conflict will begin.
When faced with such a problem, the elders must be calm and need to deal with the problem objectively and neutrally, and let the young couple resolve the conflict on their own as much as possible, based on the principle of family harmony.
Special note: If a son-in-law is aggrieved in the marriage, he can also seek help from his mother-in-law. This is different from the wife’s complaints, the son-in-law and mother-in-law spit bitterness, mother-in-law will be in the spirit of marital harmony factors to step in to discipline their own daughter, after all, is a biological daughter, how to say good.
2. When a son-in-law has a conflict with his mother-in-law, how should the son-in-law resolve it?
If conflict arises between a son-in-law and his mother-in-law, the son-in-law should never quarrel with the old man. The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem, but only to deepen the conflict and create a psychological and emotional barrier between the two sides.
When faced with this problem, the son-in-law needs to be the first to find his wife and let her mediate from there. As with the mother-in-law relationship, the only contact person in between is the daughter (wife).
When the son-in-law finds his wife, he needs to tell her the whole story without any reservation, and explain what he really thinks, and then go to her for her opinion. The wife will be able to work out a more appropriate response to the specific situation and to her own mother’s temperament.
Once you have reached an agreement between the couple, you will need to go to your mother-in-law’s house in time to apologize. The son-in-law may not be happy to see this, why should I apologize? Because you are the junior, there should be a minimum of respect for the elders. Apologize just to ease the relationship between the two sides, so as to resolve the conflict again. It is important to know that in front of family harmony, face does not matter.
In addition to the two more prominent problems above, there are other conflicts between the mother-in-law and son-in-law, for which both sides need to be mutually tolerant and use a calm state to actively resolve the conflict.
Conclusion
The maintenance of family relations is not complicated, just like the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law, only three things need to be done, namely: mutual respect, non-interference and conflict resolution. If the family gets along this way, it will maintain a harmonious, stable and happy family life to the greatest extent.