It is said that old love is a knife that kills without blood, so how far away you are from her after a breakup. For the current ex, more should uphold the concept of “old death, no contact”. But Zhang Zhen’s wife has overturned this old rule. The first time I saw her, I thought she was going to be a good friend.
Can you really be friends after a breakup?
How do you deal with love that has faded? Do you still remember your old lover? Is it better to see each other than to miss each other, or is it better to see each other as friends?
Can you still be friends after a breakup? This is a question often asked by many couples after a breakup, and most of them think that it is impossible. However, occasionally you can see some couples who still manage to maintain a good relationship after a breakup. This at least shows that it is still possible to be friends after a breakup.
However, the chances of being friends are not very high. Summing up the pattern of these people, we can conclude that the following conditions need to be met to be friends after a breakup.
1. Peaceful breakup.
Peaceful breakups are much less emotionally damaging for both people than breakups due to betrayal, or breakups due to all kinds of conflicts and conflicts that cannot be resolved. What is left more, is a feeling of helplessness and regret. And to compensate for this helplessness and regret, doing friends is precisely the more appropriate. If the breakup is more traumatic for both people, then first each has to digest the emotional pain before being friends is a possibility.
2. Give up the possibility of continuing to be a couple with each other.
Between men and women, it is not easy to be a pure friendship. If one or even both sides have ambiguous intentions for each other in their hearts, then the friendship is awkward and cannot last. There are many couples in order to be able to win each other back after the breakup promised to be friends, so that there are more opportunities to get along and meet to win each other back. This is not strictly speaking a time to be friends, but rather a transitional stage before becoming lovers and struggling to be able to get back.
3. There are many similarities in personality.
Friendship is not like love, where there are so many emotions to hold it together. What can make a friendship last requires more support above the character. Similarity can make communication between two people smoother and more relaxed and enjoyable. There are also some people of the opposite sex who can make complementary friends, but it’s important to start your friendship with similarities first.
4. Understanding and trust.
As the saying goes, men and women are not related to each other, even if there is no other relationship between two people. In other people’s eyes, there will inevitably be misunderstandings. There will even be some rumors that will have an impact on your relationship with each other. If you want to be able to maintain the friendship between you, naturally, to understand and trust your friends of the opposite sex. It is important that you do not let these rumors sway you in order to get through such a phase.
As a result, there are very few people who are friends after a breakup. In many cases, one of the parties to the breakup will propose to do friends after the breakup, mostly due to the psychology of guilt, hoping that the other party does not hurt too deeply, as well as the previous relationship habits are not convenient to change at once. This is not really a sign of being friends. If you still want to win back, then you can also agree to take this time as a transitional phase. But if you want to really be friends, then think about whether you’re ready for that!
How to maintain a perfect relationship with your ex after a breakup?
Why do some people get to be friends after a breakup and others don’t? Who exactly can be friends after a breakup? What should I do to get back to being friends with him?
Many people who have experienced relationships are anxious about these questions. In the idol drama “Absolute Darling”, Wang Dongcheng said something very interesting, he said, “If only love could be like a Le Buckle box. If one button ear is broken, there are three others. The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem. “
This is the same “presupposition” that psychologists have made in previous years. Past research has largely asserted that it is difficult for two people who break up to return to the friend end of the spectrum, and even if they do become friends, what comes out of the collision is not the tenderness that was hoped for.
Is this really the case? Times will progress, and the spirit of scientific research is to keep overturning what was once pessimistic and difficult. Over time, we have learned better how to say goodbye to the past, and have discovered that it is indeed possible to be good friends with our exes-it just takes some doing.
There was a classic study done a decade ago to answer these questions. They also wanted to know what kind of people stay friends after a breakup, and what the “prevalence rate” was, and compiled some interesting phenomena:
1. Reasons for relationship discontinuation: A large number of studies points out (or asserts) that when a relationship no longer meets our expectations and needs, we may discontinue the relationship or convert it to a friendship.
2. Post-discontinuation relationships: More commonly done in ancient times, is the study of whether you can still be friends after divorce. If the other person gives you little psychological support after leaving, it may be difficult to remain friends because even you don’t have confidence in yourself.
3. Post-breakup relationships: But studies have also found that about 40% of people can still be friends even if there are no children between them, so researchers are turning their brains to the “average couple “
One, it depends on who initiated the breakup: The study found that if the man (or both) initiated the breakup, it was easier to remain friends after the breakup.
II. It depends on the relationship before the relationship: If you were friends before you fell in love, you are more likely to stay friends after the breakup than those who were lovers soon after you met, because you know better how to get along as friends. However, many relationships are built from passion or attraction, that is, in the relationship before the two “not friends at all. So if that’s your relationship with him, then where do you “fall back”?
Three, the way to handle a breakup: “Well, it depends on how the two people broke up, right?” Some people may say this very sensitively. Some people believe that couples who discuss their breakup in a positive and upbeat way are better able to maintain their friendships after the breakup than people who just evaporate without saying a word. In fact, that’s what we thought at first, but found out otherwise – whether you can be friends or not doesn’t have a lot to do with how he talks about the breakup; what really matters is your place in each other’s hearts, and the timing, location, and people. They find that people who still find each other attractive, trust each other, have a lot of twitter overlap, and are both willing to adjust are more likely to remain friends with their exes.
How do you deal with a current ex?
How should we treat our current exes? The woman has always taken the ex-girlfriend of her romantic partner as her arch-enemy, that is, how confident she is, there will inevitably be times when she falters and weakens, but does not want her boyfriend to say she is petty. You can only suppress these emotions, but the suppressed emotions will definitely spread outward through other means. Do you really believe that your lover will be able to properly handle the temptations he encounters? Do you really believe that you deserve to have a perfect love? In fact, all the worry and suspicion comes from 3 immature mindsets:
1.
Don’t believe that you can really have a perfect love that you can trust, and don’t believe that you really deserve a good man’s love, and subconsciously always feel that the good man will soon be attracted to other women who are more excellent than you. The woman will be attracted to him.
2. Mistrust of your lover.
Don’t trust him to be mature enough to handle those temptations in his life, don’t trust him to be mature enough to judge not to trust him to make the right choice.
3. A lack of acceptance of reality.
The truth of life is that pleasure and pain coexist, and human growth is a mixture of accomplishments and mistakes, and everyone grows truly through trials and tribulations. But we always fantasize that life can be smooth sailing, that our love can be smooth sailing, that we can’t tolerate the slightest flaw, that once we make a mistake we will habitually dismiss it all and have to start thinking about whether to give up, which is actually a very immature mindset, a child’s mentality that has not grown up.
All those happy partners around the world who grow old together, not because they never disagree or quarrel with each other, but because they know how to accept their own and each other’s imperfections, allow themselves to make mistakes, and allow each other to make mistakes, give each other enough respect and trust, and grow together in the company of each other.
Happiness is an atmosphere and ability to nourish each other and grow together.
Subdue tricks:
1. It is human instinct to like the old and the new in the In the attractiveness of intimate relationships, the beauty of appearance accounts for 20%, and various other factors account for 80%. With the increase of intimacy and familiarity, the attractiveness of beautiful appearance will become less and less, and the proportion of other factors will need to be updated and increased in time. Therefore, cultivating different hobbies and interests to keep your charm index up is an effective solution to enhance attractiveness.
2. Charm building is a lasting project, especially the sublimation of inner temperament, which requires years of experience and knowledge, and is not something that happens overnight. When your inner temperament is not yet in place, your external attractiveness has already started to decrease, and your The comprehensive attraction to him will begin to weaken, when other women outside as long as the overall quality is still good, will have a stronger attraction to him than you. Whenever possible, keep yourself looking beautiful and devise something new to try from time to time. This behavior is a freshness of attraction for others and a positive psychological implication for yourself that can help you gain more confidence, which is beneficial for both yourself and others.
3. Keep yourself enthusiastic about life whenever you can. A woman with a passion for life is like a sunflower; that emotion will naturally exude a strong attraction.
4. Believe that you deserve to be loved by a good man, believe that you deserve to have perfect love, and also give each other the trust that he is capable enough to deal with the temptations and frustrations in life.
5. Accept the reality that by allowing yourself to be wrong and by allowing the other person to be wrong, the relationship will have a free space to grow and be healthy
5. INDENT:2em”>Divorce and breakups are hard for most people to go through. It’s probably one of the worst situations a person can go through, second only to the death of a loved one or learning that you have a terminal illness or something. But for others, it’s like a relief, a chance to start over.
Many relationships are long gone, and what remains unforgettable is the feeling of parting. However a new life has begun, what are the chances of a do-over? And how much should you pay? The love in marriage seems quite simple, but the old love again certainly can not refresh the yellowing page. When an old flame suddenly appears in front of a man, the surprise is certainly easy to understand, pick up the broken red thread what is necessary? Our advice is for everyone to be friends and that’s it.