“Persistence” sounds like a good quality, but in fact it means the same thing as being dead set on a dead end, and the editor, in the spirit of being extremely responsible for women, will not pick up the good words, for the following eight kinds of relationship status, you should not rush forward, no result is also a kind of The result is not the worst result.
One, you care more about each other
You’re in a relationship, but you’re not sure what the other person thinks; you think you’re right, he doesn’t seem to think so; you miss him when he’s not there, he doesn’t seem to make a difference when you’re not there, what does that mean
“If two people have different hearts, how can they walk together?
Sometimes there are situations where one person loves the other more than the other, and if it’s a healthy relationship, there’s an alternation where the two people take turns playing the roles of pursuer and pursued; but if one person always plays the role of pursuer, it’s not a healthy relationship, and if it goes on, you’ll be hungry for love, you’ll feel controlled by the other person, and you’ll feel angry, cheated, and bitter.
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II. You love the potential of the other person
You love the potential of the other person, not what the other person really is. You love what the other person might be in the future, and that person is not your partner at all, but the object of your transformation.
Every time we do premarital counseling we ask, if the other person won’t change in fifty years, will you be satisfied if you keep hoping to change the other person before you feel more satisfied, that’s not love, it’s gambling, using the happiness of both parties as a bet.
When you are in a relationship with someone, love and respect them for who they are, not what they will be in the future. You can expect them to continue to grow, but you have to be satisfied with them for who they are now.
Three, you want to help each other
Do you often feel sorry for the other person? Do you feel like you have a responsibility to help them pick themselves up? Are you afraid that if you leave them, they won’t be able to take the hit?
The “rescue freak” doesn’t look for the right person, he looks for someone he can sympathize with and help. The relationship is like a rescue mission, not a sound, balanced relationship.
The key to remember here is “respect.” The person you love must be someone you can respect, you must be proud of them, and your partner doesn’t want your rescue, but wants you to really know them.
4. Treating each other as objects of worship
Young actresses fall in love with directors, college students fall in love with professors, secretaries fall in love with their bosses …… and fall in love with the object of their worship, and it’s hard to maintain a normal relationship because they can’t treat each other as equals.
Men and women must be treated as equals, and I don’t mean in terms of status, but in terms of attitude, not to over-worship each other. People who would fall in love with the object of their admiration usually have low self-confidence and they feel bad about themselves.
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5. You’re just attracted to the other person’s appearance
Everyone is, right? If you find yourself deeply attracted to a certain quality of the other person, ask yourself, if the other person doesn’t have those big blue eyes, magnetic voice ……, if the other person is not a model or can’t play basketball ……, would I still be with him/her? Men’s appearance is the first productivity.
Sixth, a brief chance to spend time together
You share a certain job with each other and often have to work late together, so you feel in love with each other …… You go on vacation for three weeks, meet a man who also comes on vacation, and you feel like falling in love …… A short period of time together means that you get together under special circumstances, not routinely, and the relationship doesn’t last because a short period of time together doesn’t allow you to fully understand the other person’s personality.
Seven, choose this object only for the sake of rebellion
Parents always emphasize to you to find a rich object, but every boyfriend of yours is poor; since childhood, parents have been strict with you, but every girlfriend of yours is casual; since childhood, father has told you that passing on the incense is the most important thing, but your girlfriend is either You can’t have one, or you don’t want one ……
If the person you choose is always making your parents angry, it’s likely you just want to rebel, and you feel you must prove something to fight back, and when you can’t control your choices, you don’t really love each other, and the relationship is doomed to be fruitless.
Eight, the other person is not a free agent
I saved this for last because it can’t be considered a relationship at all. The first prerequisite for choosing a lifelong partner is that the other person is a “free agent. A “free agent” is someone who is free to date you, who is not married, who is not engaged, who is not in a relationship, who is not sleeping with anyone else, who is single, who is only dating you.
If the man you fell in love with promised to break up with another woman sooner; or if he says he doesn’t love that woman, he loves you; or if his original partner accepts your existence and they’re not going to break up, but he wants to be with you for a while; or if he just broke up, but might break up ……, these are not Free agency.
Don’t date someone who is married or with someone, no matter what the excuse is, the result is the same, you are doomed to heartbreak. Don’t forget, you’re just accepting the part of another person with leftovers.
The choice is yours, the responsibility is yours, and you have to choose the right person. If you are in a relationship and you are one of the eight relationships talked about above, go get counseling, don’t waste time, there is someone better waiting for you.