There is also a phenomenon in the post-80s divorce group: some of them divorce without leaving home, just because they are forced to give up their existing homes due to high housing prices, which some netizens call “snail marriage”.
Background: Post-80s become the main force of “snail marriage”
Many years ago, if a couple got divorced but did not leave home, the reason might be to hide it from the children, not wanting them to be hurt; or the couple got divorced on impulse and still had the idea of remarriage. The idea of living under the same roof. Nowadays, there is also a phenomenon in the post-80s divorce group: some of them divorce without leaving home, just because of high housing prices, are not willing to give up the existing set of housing, some netizens call this “snail marriage family”. In a forum, a netizen posted that “I am more miserable than the “snail-room family” after 80 “snail marriage family”, the main character of the post said that although the two divorced, but still “snail living” in The main character said that although the two divorced, but still “snail” living together, still together to pay off the loan. And, the house is divided equally into two parts, one for each bedroom. The only difference is that they share the ownership of the house! This post caused more post-80s lament, some people say, under the pressure of high prices, divorce is not complete. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
Case
After the “snail marriage”, “three people walking together” is more embarrassing
27-year-old Cui Jing and Wu Huaben
Cui Jing, 27, and Wu Hua were originally the envy of everyone. The two fell in love when they were in college, and after graduation they both came to Guangzhou, one to work in a government agency and one to work in a foreign company. When they got married the year before last, the four elderly people who were not wealthy put a down payment for them to buy a wedding house in Yuexiu District. The small life was quite comfortable, not long, Cui Jing pregnant, but in the issue of who to bring up the child a conflict. The company’s main goal was to get the parents to help, because the grandchildren were a long-awaited event for the two old people.
But, in the face of the house, which costs a total of 1.2 million yuan, the two eventually could not coordinate. “We both have no extra money to buy a new set, nor do we have the ability to pay the other half of the house, nor are we willing to rent a room, so we chose to divorce without leaving home.” Two rooms, one for each person, Wu Hua basically eat out, the kitchen most of the time to Cui Jing use, just divorced, the two basically live in peace with each other for a while.
“I didn’t expect to come back from work one day and there was a woman cooking in my kitchen, and for a moment, my nameless fire came up, even though I knew we were divorced and I had no right to interfere with his private life, but seeing something like this in a house that belonged to me, I lost control and looked for my ‘ex-husband ‘ had a big fight.” The problem was not solved, Wu Hua took the woman home as usual, out of revenge, Cui Jing also often brought friends to the house after work, the home is often filled with provocative, heated atmosphere. “I don’t want to be embarrassed like this anymore, but there is no better solution, when will this life end?” Cui Jing told the reporter the anguish in her heart.
Emotional experts: set good rules to avoid new conflicts
Guangzhou micro-acid marriage chief counselor Prince Night pointed out: divorce did not leave home, the two sides are still under the same roof, clothing, food, housing and transportation have many connections, may lead to a lot of economic, living space on the guanxi. This state can also lead to a state of emotional “incomplete divorce”, especially for those who are passively divorced and have not yet fully come out of the divorce, a state that will keep him (or her) from entering the divorced state for a long time, still stuck in the role of wife or husband.
“I think the biggest problem with snail marriage is that it has an impact on both parties to relove and remarry, and in this complicated state, the trusting relationship of a new relationship is not easily established. And seeing an ex-wife or ex-husband with a new partner of the opposite sex, one party may also have an unbalanced mindset and act out.”
How can these problems be solved in a “snail marriage”? First of all, try not to have a snail marriage unless you have to,” she advises. If you have to choose a snail marriage, it’s best to set rules and conventions on the above issues, such as financial commitments, space use, and attitudes toward each other’s new emotional relationships, so that both parties can approach the new relationship in an objective, calm and rational manner, and adapt to the new identity. If you fall in love again, talk to each other about your real situation, communicate sincerely, and gain each other’s understanding and trust.”
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Lawyers advise:
Economic accounts, there is a law to calculate
“It is best to make a fair determination of all economic ties between the two parties before the divorce, and if the parties cannot negotiate a settlement for the If the two sides can’t negotiate a solution to the allocation of housing, they can resort to the law.” The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of services to the public. He pointed out that, according to the provisions of the Marriage Law: if the house is bought before marriage, who is the owner on the property certificate, even after the divorce, the house also belongs to the owner, the other party has no right to ask for division, if it is owned by both parties, it can be divided according to the proportion of the initial assumption; if it is after marriage, regardless of whose name is written on the property certificate, both spouses are entitled to half of the rights and interests. Sometimes it may be the down payment made by the man’s woman’s parents. From the perspective of marriage law, this kind of relationship is a gift, and the initial amount can be taken out of the total house payment and returned to the parents, and the rest is divided equally.
“From this case, they bought the house with 1.2 million, and now it has certainly appreciated a lot. If the two sides really have no feelings, and there is no possibility of remarriage, then the best way is to negotiate the sale of the house, according to the debts assumed at the beginning to enjoy the benefits due. Specifically, when the respective parents bore how much, now return how much, and then according to the provisions of the Marriage Act, the two sides share equally. It is also possible to consider that both parties move out and rent out the existing house, and both parties will collect the rent together, but this process will also create a lot of trouble, such as, who will the tenant give the rent to, who will repair the house if there is a problem and take responsibility, etc. All the details must be worked out by both parties in a detailed solution. It is also possible to consider one party to move out and the other party to pay its rent until a new agreement is established.” Zeng Xiangming, the lawyer, suggested.
Who is responsible for the “snail marriage”?
Personal pride is no match for the harsh reality
In my opinion, if two people have really run out of feelings and choose to divorce without leaving home, they have no choice but to put their personal pride away in the face of the harsh reality. up. The two people who went their separate ways may have been very disgusted with each other and would like to leave immediately, but the reality does not allow him to leave in style, only “snail” in this uncomfortable place, slowly simmering, “snail marriage” is actually quite sad.
—Advertising industry blue student
There are fewer pure men, and love is no match for money
Yao Chen’s divorce case last year caused a lot of discussion, and Ning Cai Shen had a comment about it. “The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public. The fact that the “snail marriage” is the fault of high prices is purely an excuse, but it can only mean that in the current society, some people have indeed become slaves to money and have no feelings at all.
—Administrator Li Aiyan
What about turning “snail marriage” into “remarriage? “
For practical reasons, “snail marriage” can bring a lot of inconvenience and trouble to divorcees, but if the divorce is impulsive, or if there are no major issues of principle and the foundation of the relationship still exists, this state of divorce without leaving home may be helpful. The divorce may help the two “remarriage”. The two of them are still living under the same roof, calmly thinking about each other’s goodness and remembering the sweet life of the past, and perhaps, indeed, “reuniting the mirror”.
-Accountant Yaya Chi
Reviews
“Snail marriage” tests emotional intelligence
–Ke Qianting
When you are determined to get divorced, your emotions are not freezing, but close to zero. The divorced can still live under the same roof and share the living room kitchen and toilet, the emotional quotient must be very high, and the ability to resist stress must be particularly strong. Who does not want to have an independent space, freedom of work and rest and privacy protection? Not to mention the only child generation, who enjoyed all this early on. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Snail marriage people, by and large, only have one house and are still making mortgage payments. In other words, the house is the only investment they have. It is a lucrative project thanks to the soaring house prices. How many times in a lifetime do ordinary citizens get the chance to invest and make money, how can they give it up!
There are probably very few people nowadays who are saying that there is no place to move, so what’s the point of getting divorced! The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The new model of co-habitation is also a result of the wildly rising housing prices. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
After a divorce, a family relationship becomes a partnership, so you should not get tangled up in emotions. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem of the problem. The hidden, from time to time put a hidden arrow, to each other are hurt. Joint living is like a partnership, and should be handled in a fair and rational manner. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Snail marriage is a phase, and the ultimate goal is to separate fairly and smoothly. The same roof, and do not stare at each other’s every move, focus on things that can achieve the goal, in order to come out of the siege in style. To use an inappropriate analogy, being in a prison cell, the mind has to be outside the prison cell, and a free and beautiful life can only be expected.