A “formula for lasting marital love” has been frequently mentioned in many media, which is the conclusion of the American scholar Katherine Johnson after research. The formula that these couples have in common is basically the following:
Shared formula: one spouse is making breakfast, the other spouse is making breakfast. spouse is making breakfast while the other goes to walk the dog, and the couple reads the morning paper together after breakfast, as almost all couples in stable relationships do. These chores in themselves don’t produce joy, but they infuse the marriage relationship with trust and responsibility.
The formula for understanding: Couples whose love lasts rarely argue, and even when they get angry with each other for conflicts that arise, they get it right. Of course, they have different ways of solving problems. More encouragement would be much more effective.
Nourishing formula: When spouses focus on each other’s strengths, their marriage is nourished, not that both partners have to be optimists; they can also be pessimistic, impatient, and depressed personalities. Mature married love means accepting the reality that we all have flaws.
Change formula: Many happy couples know how to change themselves, they say they’ve gotten better since they got married, and their spouses all agree with that.
Understanding the formula: For most couples, staying faithful to your spouse makes for a happy marriage, and faithfulness is the most basic requirement of a couple, thus enabling you to be consistent with your partner’s needs and making it easier for you to talk to him/her openly, which not only helps make him/her talk about It also makes him/her feel that you understand him/her.
Equality formula: The equality that happy couples have is most clearly expressed in their management of finances. Every happy couple without exception says that the household income is shared, neither his nor hers, and they never argue over the dictates of finances.
Friendship formula: In these “friends” of lasting marital love, the wife is completely free to pursue her own ideals, knowing that her husband’s love and respect for her is unconditional, whether he understands her decisions or not. whether he understands her decisions or not. The opposite is also true for the husband.
It should be said that for a relationship or a marriage to be happy and fulfilling, it is basically possible to follow the above formula, but why are there so many marriages in the world that don’t work out? I think the secret lies in two words: persistence.