The so-called seven-year itch is a marital phenomenon, meaning that after a passionate love and marriage, the marriage enters its seventh year, as the couple becomes familiar with each other, the romance and dash is gone with the pressure of life, and the marriage enters its first dangerous period. If the couple can safely get rid of the seven-year itch, then the marriage naturally has room to survive and space. So, how do couples successfully get out of the seven-year itch? The following knowledge may help you.
The 1st year to enjoy the fun
Newlyweds are the most wonderful time in life, and after marrying such a lovely woman, what mood do you have for 7-year plans. Let’s talk about it after this year! Hugs, kisses, and sex.
Making house rules in year 2
Men and women in marriage always like to hold each other to their own standards, but strangely enough they never want to make a rule that both parties understand and approve of, and it is from this mutual uninformed tyranny and resistance that conflicts arise. The country has its laws and the family has its rules. In a happy family, rules don’t mean restrictions; they are reminders of the limits of responsibility and the same understanding of things that both parties should have.
A married man often encounters a situation where when he blames his wife for something he did not do well, she either immediately retorts to you with an inexplicable reason or hides and whimpers, and when his wife nags him, he immediately snaps back. This conflict actually shows that there are clear differences between men and women in their approach to the same things.
To avoid these downright unnecessary conflicts and to keep the future of the marriage on a well-ordered path, married men must wake up to the importance of house rules. In the second year of marriage, you need to immediately start working with your wife to develop a set of effective, mutually agreeable internal family rules after the passion has passed.
The family rules should include: the respective responsibilities of the family; the proper use and distribution of family property; the treatment of friends and relatives;
The establishment of the head of the family in the third year
The establishment of the head of the family is not just a fight for the first page of the account book, but for every married man, it symbolizes the internal and external attitude of a family. The first page of the account book is never up for grabs. Whether it’s you, or your wife, the goal is to make the marriage have a most solid bearing point. In real marriages, there is often a distinctive spousal master-slave relationship, which not only represents the way most marriages exist, but also shows the primacy of establishing the head of the family. However, this master-slave relationship cannot be understood simply as a matter of who is in charge.
Because, according to available marriage surveys, the personalities of men and women in marriages are mostly in a complementary form, which also provides a reliable basis for the existence of a dominant-subordinate relationship. However, the formation of a true master-slave relationship in a family is not easily resolved by such direct complementarity; it still requires a man and a woman to find their respective positions over a period of time together, from mutual understanding. Being outgoing, brave, etc. is not a prerequisite for establishing the head of the family, but rather who is able and willing to always take on the major responsibilities of a family or the endless chores, and who is more calm and sensible in his or her approach to things. The establishment of a head of household is actually also the establishment of a family relationship, an important prerequisite for both men and women to maintain a balance.
Booking the future in year 4
Women’s romance never wanes slightly with age, nor does it give up because of the realities of marriage. Giving women a long-range dream doesn’t require anything from the man, but it makes them feel happy, and it also makes it easier for them to accept the man’s faults and the man’s shortcomings in the marriage The shortcomings of a man’s provision.
Women are pets of romance, and they are used to floating on clouds of fantasy. If your energy and finances don’t yet allow you to fulfill the promises you make to women at will, you might want to try to give your wife a blueprint of the future, just as you described to her when you were unmarried how big the wedding would be and how beautiful her wedding dress would be. You can tell her you’re planning a month-long “second honeymoon,” tell her you’ll have the Crystal Room at the Royal Palace Hotel for your silver wedding, tell her you’ll get a raise and get a little help around the house so she can sit with you and enjoy a family dinner by candlelight…. …anything, just make her feel romantic and make her believe that tomorrow will be better.
Year 5 Self-Awareness
After 3 or 4 years, you have no reason to push that you don’t understand marriage. If your expectations are still limited to endless complaining, you must get to know yourself again at this time. You are not a child and all this is not a child’s play, accept yourself or transform yourself you need to give a definite answer. And, of course, your wife.
It’s time to ask yourself some realistic questions: What is a happy marriage? What do you think an ideal marriage should include? What have you done for your marriage? What are you unhappy with about your marriage? Are you trying to make your marriage happier?
Year 6 Plus, Minus, Multiply, Divide
Happiness is not something that can be measured on a scale, but since many of the most baffling problems can be solved through the creative application of arithmetic, there is a good reason for happiness to become equally fabulous. When it comes to happiness, after six years of marriage you may seem burned out and even rely on the word “patience” to walk in the door from time to time. But you know what? Happiness is never simply given by the side, nor is it possible to stay by the side of people who do not think about it. Your marriage can continue happily, but because of your inertia and the loss of positive momentum. If you try to add, subtract, multiply and divide your marriage, you may learn that marriage is actually very interesting.
“Living” means, in a sense, making smart choices and making necessary compromises. When your wife of six years asks you to do some housework, it’s not a good idea to say no. You might as well put the laundry and housekeeping under your own name and hire an hourly worker to help. That way you are pleasing your wife and taking moral responsibility for the cost of a few less cigarettes. Break down difficult problems into pieces and solve them separately. Problems in a marriage don’t happen in January, and it’s not practical to solve them all at once. If you have so many responsibilities in your marriage that you are at your wits’ end, take a piecemeal approach to solving them.
A happy marriage varies from person to person, and so does the path to happiness. If your problem is laziness, boredom, or loneliness, you’ll benefit from adding and multiplying; if you’re busy and tired all the time, you can subtract and divide to improve, and most importantly, to take action.
Year 7 MPI-Marriage Potential Survey
Although you’ve been together for 7 years, you may not know it yet. There is still a gap between the reality of your marriage and the ideal situation you can hope to achieve. If you can effectively tap into the underlying dynamics of happiness in your marriage, you will stop worrying about where you are now.The MPI, also called the Marriage Potential Inventory, was invented by marriage experts David and Mays.
According to their nearly 50 years of marriage research, they found that 90% of couples are not living up to their potential in terms of family happiness. This also suggests that the vast majority of broken marriages go their separate ways because of a lack of deeper mutual understanding. For this reason, David and Mays have designed the MPI to help measure and improve the reality of marriages. The test is simple and requires each spouse to estimate and score 10 basic aspects of the marriage based on their own feelings.
1. Shared goals and values;
2. Efforts to enhance the marriage;
3. Skills in communicating ideas;
4. Affection and understanding;
5. Constructive approach to conflict between the couple;
6. Agreement on the responsibilities of each partner;
7. The same mind and cooperation;
8. The sexual enrichment;
9. The arrangement of the use of money;
10. The education of children (for couples without children, it lies in how to discuss and decide on issues at home).