In married life, we will encounter a lot of problems, such as: the other half of the parents and friends to do something wrong, a small ambiguity in the emotions …… this time we change what to do? Of course we have to solve it carefully.
1. Don’t criticize his parents’ family and friends.
You know why. Your family, no one else but yourself can criticize, right? In the same way, when you get along with his family and friends, you should walk on thin ice every minute and never make a mistake. Even if he complains to you about his family and friends, you must not go along with him to criticize them, otherwise you try it, he will immediately be angry with you, defending them. This is like the two sides in the debate, when you stand to the opposite side, it forces him to become the right side. And the right thing to do is to put yourself in his shoes, put yourself in his shoes, and think about things from his point of view.
2. Don’t hide the little ambiguities in your emotions.
Meet an ex-boyfriend and tell your husband. If you have an online friend throwing himself at you, tell your husband that too. Keeping secrets inside will only lead to a fire in the backyard. “If there’s nothing to hide, then why are you hiding it?” A sentence straight to the point of death, you are bound to be dumbfounded. Covering up such things will create an atmosphere of hidden ambiguity and disloyalty. So, it’s better to tell him everything that happened. “Today my ex-boyfriend tried to add me on Facebook and I refused.” Just tell your husband gently, or: “I met my ex-boyfriend’s family today at the shopping center. His kids are so cute and he seems to be doing well.” If you say it openly, can your husband still think wrong?
3. Don’t play the life coach in front of your husband.
Don’t rush to play life coach when your husband doesn’t ask you for guidance. You can offer your support and lend him your ear, but avoid speaking in an “I know what’s best” kind of voice. We give advice because we want to help each other, but if your guidance is too much, too fast and too aggressive, then you are criticizing each other. So, from how your husband dresses for work today to how he handles problems at work, don’t talk too much and let him make his own decisions.
4. Don’t take charge of everything.
Don’t always do all the housework. Do you think your husband can’t even fold the laundry well, so you don’t let him do the chores? The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem. In short, you feel that you are in charge of all the big and small affairs at home, your heart will be easy and comfortable. But honey, stop it! Stop playing the saving angel in front of your husband, for the simple reason that a man who always needs his wife to rescue him will get tired of it one day. Moreover, you will also feel increasingly strongly dissatisfied with this life where family matters always fall on your own shoulders, even if you volunteered to take them on in the first place. So, you’d better get into the habit of asking your husband for advice on everything: “What do you think is the best way for us to do this?” Or, “I can give a hand and clean up the kitchen with you.” Cultivate a sense of “husband and wife as teammates” and you’ll have a much easier time!
5. Don’t carry the same old shit on your shoulders.
Couples quarrel, quarrel even, don’t keep rehashing the old things and bite down on it.
After all, why do people keep repeating the same old disputes? Because they never solve the problem once and for all. However, revealing the scars again and again will only accelerate the festering process of marriage. That’s why it’s important to find out what the problem is at the beginning of a fight, admit that there are conflicts and differences, and then work together to find a solution. In fact, the solution to marriage, like anything else, is a timeless principle of mutual respect and seeking common ground while reserving differences.
6. Don’t suppress your feelings.
Does he brush his teeth with toothpaste froth and throw his clothes and socks everywhere? If you think this is important, then say so. Tell him why it bothers you and what you would like to do to change the situation. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from each other by talking about it. For example, every time you lie on the couch watching TV after dinner while your husband always takes it upon himself to wash the dishes; and you will understand that your husband often leaves the floor wet not because he intentionally wants you to slip and fall, but because he was really careless and didn’t notice. “Honey, can you stop by and pick up the dry cleaning on your way out later?” I don’t know how much better a simple request like that is than ordering him to do everything and pissing him off to the point of eventually refusing to provide the service.
7. Don’t feel free to publish private feelings, let alone private photos.
You may not like to spitball with him about current affairs, and he may not like to see you putting pictures of him and his kids on Facebook to show off your happiness. In that case, your respective wishes should be respected by each other. It’s a good idea to discuss the bottom line and clarify what you can do when it’s about you alone, what you can do when it’s about the couple, and what you can do when it’s about the kids and the family. It’s also crucial that you don’t send your complaints about your husband to a public place for outside support when you’re having a disagreement, as this will immediately ruin your marriage.
8. Don’t spend all day on the Internet.
What else can your husband think when you treat the internet as the closest thing you have to people? Of course he will feel lost and feel insignificant because you are not paying attention to him at all. If you haven’t realized the seriousness of this, you may want to make a daily record: how much time do I spend online every day? And how much time do I spend with my family every day? When the numbers are compared, the truth comes out.
If necessary, set a rule for yourself and stick to it once it’s set. For example, it is strictly forbidden to watch TV while eating, turn off your phone and ban computer use after 8pm every night, every Sunday afternoon is invariably a family day out, and so on. The best time should be spent on the people you love the most.