For many couples, the most direct way to vent when they have a conflict is not to “kill” each other, but to start a cold war. The first thing you need to do is to take a look at the situation and see if you can find a way to get out of it.
“She is always silent when I talk to her; she occasionally glances at me, but her eyes are cold and don’t linger on me for long; she does her work, eating and sleeping separately from me, and sometimes she would rather be late than take the same bus as me. Not to take the same bus with me …… “every cold war, one of my buddies will complain to me privately, “she will never argue with me, but always indifferent to what I say, she has been like this for almost a year, and sometimes I do not even know what I really I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.”
When he refused to pay for her bag and clothes, his girlfriend fought him cold, for a few days; when he was late, she fought him cold, for a few days; later, when they lived together, they fought more and more, from buying a car to buying a house, from eating to watching TV. The TV. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
When a woman starts a cold war, she wants to punish her boyfriend, thinking that when he can’t take it anymore, he’ll admit his mistakes to himself. Yes, this method may work once or twice, but it won’t work as many times as it should.
In the course of a long cold war, men have gradually developed the “antibodies” to deal with cold wars. You are cold, I am also cold; you do not compromise, I also do not seek peace. Once to this point, it is difficult for women to take advantage of the cold war, in turn, the cold man’s heart, affecting the feelings of both sides. The company’s main goal is to provide a good solution to the problem.
From the letters of my friends, I always see men and women in cold war, no matter which side, are extremely sad, angry, helpless inside, some complicate the problem, and some even think of breaking up.
There is no doubt that cold wars are hurtful and hurtful: the two give up communication, there is no way to vent their emotions, and while punishing each other with coldness, they also torture themselves; just because two people avoid conflict does not mean it can be completely resolved, and without effective communication, the conflict remains The conflict is still a time bomb that will explode sooner or later.
The timing and scale of a cold war
There are certain vices of men that can be dealt with if The company’s main goal is to provide a good solution to the problem. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
First be sure to make it clear to the other person what it is that you’re doing to be cold to him. If he’s often late for appointments, then you should take the opportunity to fall out with him on one of the occasions when he’s late, not when you’re arguing with him about what to have for dinner and it involves being late, so the more you think about it, the more you hold your breath before you try to be cold with him.
A cold war is not a messy war, and a targeted war is the only way to get him to better self-correct his mistakes.
When a cold war breaks out, the next thing you need to control is the scale of the cold war. The next thing you need to control is the scale of the cold war. When to end it and how to end it are questions you must calculate beforehand.
Don’t see him, but make sure your phone is on 24/7 so he can find you at any time; don’t talk to him, but you can express your feelings in other ways so he understands the reason for your anger, such as twitter status, blog, twitter or from a friend. twitter or the mouth of a friend, to avoid his wild guesses and make the divide deeper and deeper. If he takes the initiative to compromise with you, you need to give him a leg up and allow him to explain and correct himself.
Silence is worse than arguing
There is no doubt that timely and effective communication is the best way to resolve conflict. The best way to resolve conflicts. No couple would dare to say that they have never argued. If you do it the right way and get the scale right, arguing can not only resolve the conflict, but also improve the understanding between the two.
Of course, the process of conflict resolution between lovers is often not as easy and peaceful as it sounds, and sometimes it can even be accompanied by arguments and even cursing, so when we encounter such a situation, we may want to calm down and give each other time to think about the causes and consequences of what happened.
But remember, this calmness doesn’t mean chilling out – no one ignores anyone until the conflict is resolved.
A river with a one-way bridge on which only one person can pass, and two people coming head-to-head, how do you get both people across? If you are the person in question, you can convince the other person to let you cross first, or you can argue and then negotiate a reasonable request, or simply compromise yourself and let the other person cross first; but if neither person expresses an opinion, the result can only be that both are cold in the middle of the bridge and neither can cross.
Silence and coldness will never solve the problem. Behind the silence, what is actually hidden is anger, and when it builds up to a certain level, the anger will erupt like a volcano.
Take a step back, it’s no big deal
The cold war is slow to end.
There is a crisis in the relationship between two people, even if they have been in love for a few years, and they can’t stand the cold war.
Women often think that breaking the silence means they are losing the cold war, thinking that if they can’t hold him down this time, he will be more aggressive to you next time, and they will be in a weaker position in their future life as a couple.
But a cold war really doesn’t mean much, and as long as you know what you’re doing, it’s unlikely that the other person will be able to compromise you through a cold war. The two people living together, the important thing is not to win or lose, but what to do to win, the two can be back together, is the real victory.
When you can’t take the loneliness of a cold war anymore, or realize your mistake, you might as well take the lead and offer to reconcile and end the cold war as soon as possible.
After a cold war, you may find that it’s hard to get back the tacit understanding that you had when you were single, because you’re getting used to the idea of ignoring the other person.
In the early post-war period, both people feel like strangers, and the old affection and physical communication will undoubtedly make each other feel awkward. At this point, you must take the lead in leading the way, pretending that nothing has happened, taking the initiative to talk to him, hold hands, date him, and make up.
You can’t eat too much, you can’t drink too much, and you can’t use too many cold war tricks. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.