Have you ever had anything interesting happen to you in your bedroom? Of course, you’re not the only one who will encounter it. Let’s face it, the reality of sex is a far cry from the romantic scenes portrayed on the big Hollywood screen, and sexologists tell us that every couple has experienced some unpleasant experiences.
How do you deal with these awkward moments? Let’s learn together.
Awkward moment #1: Out of time
No matter how good your husband is in bed, there are going to be times when you wish he’d last longer.
“Trust me,” says Gilda Carle, a PhD, sex and relationship expert, and author of “HowtoWinWhenYourMateCheats. “It’s moments like this that your husband will be more embarrassed than you are.”
Don’t scold him or hurt him, but take a break.
You can also remind him that no matter how exciting the moment is, sometimes girls still don’t reach orgasm.
Give yourself a bottom line, understand the awkward moments, and move on. No one needs to feel ashamed or beat themselves up about it.
Awkward moment #2: Someone farts
Oops! If this happens to you, don’t worry.
Experts say that people usually fart an average of 15-25 times a day, and that the friction of lovemaking can sometimes increase the flow.
The next time this happens, don’t let it get in the way.
Instead, shrug your shoulders, apologize for the unpleasant smell, and change the subject.
Awkward moment #3: He suggests something that makes you uncomfortable
Just because you love each other, it doesn’t mean you’re always on the same page in bed.
And maybe you’re also really frustrated when he suggests something that makes you uncomfortable.
Stephanie Buehler, a California psychologist and sex therapist, suggests trying to find some common ground instead of rejecting him.
If possible, see if you can ‘negotiate’ this whim to get you turned on too.
But, Dr. Buehler adds, if his whims make you feel uncomfortable, you may need to have a whisper with him.
You do have a very vivid imagination, so can we use it to find something that excites me too?
That way, you praise him and encourage him at the same time, rather than discourage and reject.
Awkward moment #4: Accidental injury
Ouch! You can’t simply and crudely position sex as something that can lead to injury.
Don’t just think: accidental bites, scratches, jagged nails on the skin, pulled muscles, leg cramps, etc.
The first rule of accidental injuries in bed: get up and treat them (whether or not you need an aspirin or a bandage).
Rule 2: Laugh it off.
Stop making love allows you to get to know your man better, says Dr. Carle.
You’ll see how he handles it when it doesn’t interrupt the pleasure in the way he does.
Awkward moment #5: One of you is not in the mood
One of you wants it and the other doesn’t. This usually becomes an emotionally damaging practice in the bedroom, and causes a lot of uncomfortable silence.
But it’s important to understand that “no” doesn’t mean “I don’t love you,” Dr. Buehler said.
“I think it’s good for couples to understand that it’s OK to say they don’t want to have sex anyway,” she said, adding that the bedroom should be a guilt-free place.
Also, women need to ask themselves if they’re doing it solely to do their duty, or if they really need it.
If it’s just to do her duty, she should gently deny her lover, i.e., say she doesn’t want it, and suggest that they can have sex on a day, or two days, or weekend when she feels she’s in good shape, or well rested.
When both people are in the mood, I’m sure it will be wonderfully rewarding.
Awkward moment #6: Someone calls the wrong…name
You’re married, so why are you calling out your high school sweetheart’s name to your husband?
That doesn’t actually mean you’ve given away your love, says Dr. Carle.
The brain is an amazing organ, especially when it comes to lovemaking.
When you can’t think too much at all before you speak.
If this happens to you, his (or your) feelings are bound to be hurt, but make sure you let him know how much you love him and document this absurd mistake.
Awkward moment #7: Your kids come running in
This is the moment every parent dreads: You think your 5-year-old is asleep, but then she walks in for a drink of water and happens to see you making love.
Sometimes, kids don’t understand sex and think you’re fighting or hurting each other.
If you find yourself in this awkward situation, it’s best to explain it to your child right away.
You can say that Dad and Mom are sometimes very intimate, and what she sees, is something that people who are already married often do.
But it’s best to put a lock on your bedroom – as soon as possible.
Awkward moment #8: Something’s wrong with your body
Lovemaking isn’t always clean and tidy.
Incontinence, embarrassing noises, and ill-timed bowel movements can interfere with the romance of the moment.
For example, almost every woman has experienced the embarrassing sensation of holding her breath vaginally, making noises that sound an awful lot like farts.
“It’s perfectly normal,” says Debra Laino, a sex therapist in private practice in Wilmington, Delaware. DebraLaino said.
If (and when) this happens to you, she has this advice: “I think those women just need to be cool with admitting they have gas in their vagina and laugh it off.”
In the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that big of a deal.
Also, says Debby Wade, a sex therapist, marriage and family therapist at home in Texas, a loving, inclusive couple can get through it all.
Sex isn’t aesthetically pleasing Hollywood, and scenes in movies and TV don’t ever deal with the awkwardness – or chaos – of these sex lives.
In fact, it’s good for getting more comfortable with each other and learning how to be fun-filled.