Lack of communication can break up a loving couple, and too much nagging and complaining is the number one killer of a couple’s relationship. Learn to communicate, with benign communication, to arouse the love between the couple, your feelings can go long. Here are 5 bad communication habits that can lead to the decay of a lovers’ relationship, do you have them?
1, Insincerity
How many times have you found yourself wanting to say “No” when you wanted to say “Yes”? Or do you simply say, “I don’t know,” for fear of being misunderstood or rejected? ? When you make it a habit to go against your will. Choosing to repress yourself for the sake of superficial peace, this can lead to deeper resentment and anger deep inside.
There’s something wrong with hiding your emotions and not trusting that your partner is mature enough to remain calm about your rejection. A better way to put it would be, “No, I can’t discuss that right now. I need to think about it calmly. I’ll talk to you in an hour.” Remember, keep that promise.
2. Inconsistency
Most of the time, our communication is is non-verbal communication. When it doesn’t fit with our language, we are sending very complex messages to each other. No wonder couples argue, get confused, and eventually stop paying attention to each other.
When we roll our eyes, close our lips tightly, and shrug our shoulders again while saying one thing. Then we convey a different message to the other person. It is very likely that the other party will interpret it as: contempt, precaution. To avoid the distress of this inconsistency, you have to do what you can to maintain eye contact with the other person. Make sure you are actively listening to the other person and focusing on what they want to say. Instead, think about what you plan to say next.
3. Black-or-white attitude
In NLP (Neuro Language Systems), we often say that effective communication is not only about whether your message is delivered, but also about whether it is received by the one listening. It is easy to become overly judgmental, blaming, or guarded when discussing uncomfortable topics of conversation. All of these can make communication problematic.
Rather than pointing fingers at each other; always trying to pick on the other person; focus on how to make the conversation a win-win. The best way to have a conversation is to make a peaceful agreement and show respect and sincerity for each other.
4. Interrupting or gushing
Have we all forgotten how our elementary school teachers instructed us? When the other person is talking, stop trying to interrupt the TA. Let the TA take some time to say what he or she is thinking. At this point, men and women have completely different ways of communicating.
While men are still thinking about the answer to a question, a faster answer has already popped out of women’s mouths. Or have already started asking the next question. Next time, you might want to take a moment to stop and count to 30 before you start making your point. And don’t ask a lot of questions at once. That way your partner will feel respected and know that you are giving the TA time to answer.
5. Always focus on the negative
Do you often say this
Do you often say, “Don’t always forget to put the toilet seat down!” or “How long does it take you to take out the trash?” These are the kinds of things that make men feel especially stupid.
Instead, say something that makes men really want to jump up and help you out: “Honey, I feel like a princess every time you take out the trash. Thank you.”
Expressing appreciation and praise for each other works at all times and is a great remedy that can help your relationship become more genuine.